Sorry about the job, SDGuy. It will get better for you too.

My brother went to school at USD, so I have fond memories of trips to SD. DS17 applied there, and he's hoping to hear soon. Price tag is a bit high given my sitch. Wouldn't have been a problem if WH hadn't maxed out the home equity line. Our plans were always to have that $ available for college. Oh, well, DS may end up at CalPoly SLO instead.

Same ocean. Fine with me. I'm looking forward to some trips next year.

Thanks, HH.

I'm doing pretty well. It's well past time for a change for me, and I'm confident that things will work out well for me.

USD seems to be a pretty nice school. Sometimes I think about trying to get a job teaching there.

No news today. Yesterday, WH emailed me HIS VERSION of our monthly budget showing how our expenses exceed our income. Hummmmm....But he failed to include the trips and gifts and stuff he's spent on POSOW and her kids.

Then he texts me last night asking me again for my "monthly gross income." I won't respond. Why bother? Especially since he fails to see that HE and his AFFAIR are the cause of our money problems. Not the attorney I need to hire. Not the increase in the electricity bill he blames on the kids leaving the lights on on purpose (true story!). Not the costs DS charged to the credit card for on-line college applications. Not the freak'in $300 yearly charge for Sparkletts water.

WH continues to blame everyone but himself for our financial situation. He fails to take ANY responsiblitity. Why would he? Like he's said dozens of times -- It's HIS money...HE'S the one with a job. And, frankly, I've come to a BIG revelation. This divorce may just be a blessing in disguise. This way, WH is saddled with HIS debt and paying spousal and child support, and then he can leave with a huge burden in his pocketbook.

And even if....BIG if.....we were to get together after the divorce, the debt would still be HIS debt, not mine. His penalty for playing with fire.

Hope your son has put in for scholarships and grants.

Yes, Believer, we have. Hopefully one or more will pan out. Will also look at student loan if DS goes out of town.

Just hate, hate, hate the fact that this should be a joyful time for WH and I as parents to be proudly helping DS decide on colleges. WH has washed hands of DS and the rest of us. And I try to make up for this, as do other family members. WH's parents have been AWESOME!!!!!!

Hi Holyheart,
Your right the waywards suck the life out of good things. Do you hear that whoooshh of taking the joy out of the college search for son.

You are doing the right thing. I am praying for you.

Glad you got the atty. definitely need it for peace of mind and pulling the money strings away from OW.

Hi Holy,

I haven't been around much but you really sound good. Seem to becoming more focused on what you can do and what you can't. Remember this is a process that takes its own time.

The most comforting fact that you mentioned is that waywards seem to be so predictable. The blame, they hurt, they destroy, they make us with their actions.

It's a blessing to watch your growth, keep up the hard work GAL...

Friend let me know that OW has a FacePage, and she's posted pictures of her and WH. I felt that sickening hurt deep in my stomach -- how can they act like a normal couple?

I didn't want to look -- but had to. Went to my sister's house and had her look for me first.

OMG -- 3 photos of them together. One even has the caption "Happy Valentine's Day to Us."

But I did laugh. OMG -- WH and OW are wearing matching outfits in 2 of the 3 photos. One outfit is orange and brown (ug!) and the other is black and white with jeans.

I mean, really, folks -- she's now DRESSING him??

And she also had posted photos from her sister's wedding where she was the Maid of (Ho) Honor. Someone asks if she'll be next and she replies "no" that she'd always just be a bridesmaid.

PLEASE -- she's been married twice. What's a third time with WH?

I would have loooooooovvvvvvved to have posted a message calling her every skanky name in the book. But it may get back to me via my email.

I know...Plan B...stop snooping. But what a wealth of information I may find by checking her posts. Information is POWER...and I'm a BUSY LITTLE BEE anyways with all my snooping and such. Nice to know where MY money is being spent. Especially since OW posted how she was hanging out at the spa at the RITZ CARLTON.

Holy, crap. I've never been to a Ritz Carlon in my life. And we're in debt. I guess WH lives on fantasy money as well.

WH has phoned or texted me nearly daily asking how much my new job is paying.

Would it be bad to respond the next time -- "Enough to take care of cash needs for the kids but not enough for a stay at the Ritz Carlton."

Wow -- I guess I really am in Plan FU.

Tell him you make just enough to make him ask questions.

NO!! You do NOT RESPOND AT ALL!!! Don't do it!! DO NOT DO IT!!

A. You'll give him a fix.

B. You'll let him know he's gotten under your skin and that you've seen the photos.

Do NOT respond!! You WILL regret doing so!!

Charlotte

DITTO

P.S.) DO NOT RESPOND!!

Hey HH, tell him "what job" pretend you got fired. So he won't think he will get part of that windfall. Can't wait for you to get to the Atty.

Run off the pictures from Facebook. Even though your state is a no fault state, it still will help with D.

You guys are no fun!

We are so!!!

We're more fun than 40 clowns in a chicken bucket!!

I have no idea what that means. Clowns and chickens...hummmm...

Would it be alright if I have someone post awful stuff about OW on her Facebook?

Like ask about her and her FATHER since WH looks quite a bit older than her?

Huh? Or...as I am always reminded...take the high road...be classy...

Heck...I HATE THE HIGH ROAD. I WANT TO GET IN THE MUD WITH THE PIGS ONCE IN A WHILE. I HATE OW!!!!!

Nope! No mud and no pigs!!

In plan B, arent you supposed to not be finding out what is going on with the wayward and all that? Work and focus on you?

I know, I know...

But I'm in Plan D and WH is screwing me financially. You would not believe the stuff I've uncovered.

So...I need to snoop to find out what I can. As for "protecting my love" and all that -- well, that's all fine and dandy if WH wasn't messing with me and the kids. But he started the war.

Am I suppose to "play nice" during Plan D or protect myself?

I did not initiate Plan D -- he did. I do not want Plan D -- he does. And he's playing dirty already. So Facebook may give me more ammo when I need it.

Money is the biggest problem. And WH being with POSOW at the freakin RITZ CARLTON is a huge thing. You see -- he's complaining about bottle water we've had delivered for over 17 years. He's complaining about something that costs less than $30/month when he's spending like a rock star, maxing out the home equity line, then OW is bragging about the RITZ CARTON on Facebook.

Am I angry?? YES.