A lot of you people are NOT giving MB advice. This guy's story doesn't sound nearly as hopeless as others posted here and those BS's fought for their marriages and won.

I also think we are being taken by a con. He sucks us in with this long post about how he wants his wife? And then all of a sudden he's getting a quickie divorce? Why ask for advice if you've already got your mind made up? Why say he wants his wife back and then totally wuss out and let the OM win that easily? Yeah, there are BS here who finally gave up but within days of posting for help? Really?

I'm starting to suspect that this guy is single, made the whole story up, and is just yanking our chain.

It is not "wussing out" and it is not a competition. Some folks just know, Harley among them, that infidelity is a dealbreaker for them. It is not surprising that his initial reactio was to save the marriage but now he is clearer.
This initial reaction is almost universal, esp among guys, who do get into the competition mode. But, one researcher who interviewed many BHs that stayed found, almost universally, that once the competitive urge subsided and the panic abated, the BHs regretted staying.
I think this forum should include support for folks that are going through this, regardless of which path they choose. Telling someone that has gone through this trauma that his perfectly valid decison to divorce constitutes "wussing out" is cold and callous, IMO.
Harley himself recognizes this choice as a valid path to healing.Fact is, only a minority of folks stay in a relationship marred by infidelity. Are all folks that opt for divorce "wusses"?

I am one that stayed with a WW, endured the gut wrenching discovery, a way too long Plan A, and tried too hard to get my WW into recovery. All to find myself in a marriage still flawed, and a FWW that still feels entitled beyond what I see as normal.

All this after discovering MB way too late in the game, and although it helped, I missed the window of time I felt was appropriate for exposure.

If I had known that the outcome of my "recovered" marriage would have been the way it is now, back then, I would have played the D card, swallowed my pride, and be well into a life less encumbered.

I agree with the others. Small towns hold few secrets. Most everyone knows, and it is humiliating. And even if they do divorce, there are many instances of divorced couples reconnecting after the fact. More so in small towns, I bet.

Some WW are all but incapable of heartfelt remorse, and have no sense of the wreckage they leave in their path. Sometimes I believe they are just incapable of "getting it".

Also from Kansas, and wishing you the best...

It's the entitlement thing that shows how messed up they are. You simply cannot reconcile with someone with that type of mentality. They do not feel rmorse and have no empathy. One is best off leaving these toxic types behind. It is still painful , but better than dying a slow death trying to get through to them.

OK ... name 5!!!

Sure there may be a FEW examples of BH's who were able to suck up their pride and get past the humiliation of having their WW rub their face in their adultery, but I seriously can't name ONE right now that endured this type of abuse and now can truthfully call themselves recovered.

In a small town, when a WW is brazen enough to publicly display her adultery in front of a BH's friends and family ... just how does this guy RECOVER from that and ever be able to hold his head up around town?

Since there are no kids involved ... I think supporting his decision to D is very MB like advice ... supported by Dr. Harley's own words.

You're doing great. Stay strong. Thank God there are no children.