I have cheated on my wife several times in the last 16 years. She never knew. Then she had one with an old boyfriend, blamed me for not meeting her needs. I agree partly my fault. We fought for over a year and then I went looking for someone else. Found someone, asked wife for a divorce. We are currently seperated. She started seeing someone else. Then I wondered if we could work it out. Told my wife that I wanted to work it out and we should try. Broke it off with the other person, she then told my wife about all my past mistakes. Now she uses what I did in leaving her and getting involved with someone else as an excuse for continuing her relationship with the other man, even thought she wants me back. She says I have no right to tell her to stop seeing him until she is sure she wants me back, but still wants me to give her love deposits to build up her confidence in our relationship. Confusion has sent in for me. Where do I go from here?

Do what she asks. Its not fair but that is not your objective. Shed anything having to do with OW's and wait for her to return. You both did horrible things to each other its' just that she is on a different schedule.<P>For now, be patient and await her return.<P>