First, I would like to tell you English is not my first language and you will see a lot of grammatical errors so I apologize. I am 37 years old and have been married for 11 years and have two children - ages 7 and 10. About one months ago I found that my wife was having an affair with another man for 15 months. My heart sank. I have never felt an emotional, physical pain that comes close to this.
I knew that my wife was not happy with our relationship, however I never imagined that she will have an affair. I love my wife more than anything in the world and I know is my fault and I don't blame her. I can't even begin to imagine my life without her but I am still haunted daily by the image of her with another man.
I've never cheated on her in all our 11 years of marriage and I will admit that I was not the best husband. I was very bad to her, emotionally and verbally. And more importantly, she has been dealing with it for 11 years of our marriage. I feel terrible about it, but unfortunately, I cannot change the past.
I tell her she has to forgive me so we can move on and she says she can't do it right away. I'm scared she may give up and it will be the end of us with our 2 wonderful kids. She told me that she love me and care about me but she is not in love with me. I know she really loves me, but she is so upset with the past that she can't let the past go.
She tells me she is confuse as to what she wants in life because our bad past. She is the love of my life and I think she feels that divorce is the only answer, she has been hurt to bad and that she does not believe that change can happen "you have said that before" is what she says and yes I have said that but this time I am able to be a different husband, father and to realize the important of life specially my family. Lots of forums said split and she'll coming running back but I'm afraid she won't.
I am more in love with my wife than I ever have been. I know I can change and show her the appreciation she deserves. She is at home, she feels a lot happy, she stop the comunication with the other person, and I know she is trying very hard. But, I want that romantic feeling back so bad I continued asking her and I know is bad but I cant control myself. I am totally lost here.
Should I wait and see if she get the romantic feeling or just end the marriage? Is there any hope, and what can I do to help us get this on track? Can she get that romantic feeling back? I dont know what else to do and I am looking for any help I can get.
Thanks,
CS
