when we first met we used to go to the pictures a lot go and play pool in the pub go swimming together and have romantic meals a lot
rest time was spent lounging watching tv or playing chess that he loves and im pants at lol but he taught me to play

Well if his ship is gone for six months, he may get leave during that time, which will help a bit.

Can you send packages to the ship? If so, send him yummy brownies and cookies and other home baked goodies (domestic support).

Does he have email? Telephone privileges? Tell him frequently how much you admire him, and be specific.

While he's gone, do fun things - things he'd like to do - and tell him about it on the phone and email him photos of it and tell him how much better it would be if he could be there personally but that hopefully this way you can still share the experience and when he gets home you'll do it together.

yeah can send packages anytime and they have access to emails and also phone calls and payphones too so he can ring us when he wants too will find out later if this is going to happen so trying not to worry about this right now

his coming round about 5pm and then taking Daughter to karate be back here about 7.45 and ive asked him if he would like to have dinner with me he said that he would.

Someone hit my car today outside and they came and told me luckily we wasnt in it so i rang WS to ask what i needed to do he said not to worry when he comes up he will check out the damage and get it sorted for me. I said i would be grateful if you could, im useless when it comes to stuff like maintaining the car never had to deal with it cant even check the water.

Looking forward to seeing him later and gonna try my best to meet some of his EN thought i might buy him a motorbike magazine from the shop when im out picking kids up from school too. he used to get a subscription but he cancelled that so thought it be a nice gesture

Yes, the magazine sounds good. And be certain the house is still picked up and warm and welcoming.

Sorry your car got damaged, but another opportunity to admire him for sorting it all out.

Hang in there!!!!!

well im done cant take anymore started off a good night and no LBs then he told me OW is pregnant i went to pieces cant take anymore told him i never want to see him again im so heartbroken he didnt want this baby she told him shes on the pill dont know how or what im going to tell my children cant function right now

So sorry to hear that. You might want to check out the Pregnancy/OC forum here.

It is not too uncommon for the OW to end up PG. That is another way they entrap someone else's husband.

thanks believer i will do but dont think i want him back now dont know if i could ever move past this need to figure out what to tell the kids just cant think straight right now my heads all over i have told him i cant see him no more and dont want him calling me up. have sorted times when he can see the children each week just lost and confused and mega hurt right now. but ill go check out that forum

and id like to thank everyone for all your great advice this is a superb site which i will continue to use in my path to recover myself

Please settle down and check out the other board.

Your hubby sounds like he is very naive, but the marriage can still be saved. There are some wonderful folks on the OC forum who have recovered their marriages.

The advice there is excellent.

im going to read there posts right now as my children have finally settled for the night. do you think i should go into plan B now as i dont feel i can go on with plan A anymore or is this too soon

Go check the other board.

Your husband may be very naive and the OW may have trapped him with a pregnancy.

Also there is the possiblity that she is lying to hold on to him.

Dont' make any "I can't take this any more" or "I'm going to Plan B" decisions right now. Give yourself time to react.

You don't KNOW that OW is pregnant.
Even if she is, you don't KNOW that the child is your husband's.

If she's PG, and if the child is your WH's, he will probably have to pay child support -- but that shouldn't affect your decision to work on the marriage. He'll be paying child support whether you divorce or stay married.

If your WH plans to stay involved in the child's life and visit often, then that *would* affect your decision, because NC for life can't happen.

There are a ton of variables here. You don't need to (and shouldn't!) decide anything right now.

thanks turtle and believer i have asked him about the PG test he said she did it with him there and that she went to docs today i said how ya know she not setting ya up he said why would she do that his so stupid i could slap him at times okies ill give myself time to calm down and rethink on things but right now i cant face him or talk to him i need time to gather my thoughts

So she was supposedly taking the pill and turned up PG. And your husband wonders why she would do that.

I'm sure she did that to entrap him. The guy really needs to wake up!!!!!!!!!

yeah i told him that tonight its about time he bursts his little bubble and wakes up to reality i know i shouldnt of but i was so mad when he told me. He seems to think our 2 children will be happy about it and that it wont affect them in anyway i said ya really dont get any of this do ya then he tried to say i neglected the kids as they have had chips for tea 2 days in a row which i turned round and said im not the one that walked out on them least im here to feed them.

Hello always_hope!

I saw believer's call out on the p/c board. I am so sorry you find yourself here and that your H is so foggy. I don't have much time right now but would love to converse with you. We just started C with the OC two weeks ago after 4 years of the OW demanding her child not be around me. It has been a long rocky and hard road. Mostly because my H, like many in this situation, want to believe the OW is telling the truth and would never "cheat" on them!

I probably won't be back til much later but you can go read my posts on the pregnancy/child board.

hiya faithful follower thank you i will go read your posts my head is all over place right now trying to get it clear and together again i would appreciate your input when you do have time

It is fairly common for the WH to think that everyone will be so happy about the OC. He is still in La-La land and hasn't figured out that he has been played.

always

Did you get a chance to poke around on some of the threads on the p/c board? If so you probably read my thread about how hard it is to recover with an OC in the picture. Much of that depends on the WH. Mine is a conflict avoider. He never wanted to look like the bad guy, so for two years post him ending the PA he continued to see OW/OC and have a secret cell phone with her. This was due to her insistance that OC could never be around me. He honestly waited until she tired of waiting for him to leave me and relented to real visitation. We just started two weeks ago. In fact, we saw OC for his bday last night. My head is still spinning from this sudden reversal.

So, do you try? Well let me ask you some questions.

Have you done plan A? This includes exposure to bust up the affair. If you H comes back to the M, could you see yourself having the OC in your life? What type of man is your WH when he is not in wayward mode?

i have looked at some of the other posts just finding things hard to digest right now.

I was doing plan A and exposed to all not sure if i could handle an OC in my life right but then right now i cant think straight either dont even know if i want H in my life right now

He used to be so loving and caring considerate

You are going through a huge shock right now. Take your time and think all of this over.

You may want to check the laws on support where you live. Here often the first one to file for child support gets the advantage. Your country may be different though.