Yes! A MALE online friend from H's gaming community. :MrEEk: Good question!

WOW, calling a friend he doesnt know from a gaming community? What kind is it? I know some of them can get pretty close.

Yeah, my H and this guy have really gotten close, and I am very thankful for that at this moment! The network is AGN - Adult Gamer's Network. My H has been a member with them for..hmm..at least 2 years now. He used to game daily (this was a problem in our marriage), but now games only on Friday nights (an extended gaming session lasting 6+ hours). I never understood how guns and games brought bonding to the male species, but I am THANKFUL for it! :-)

K. I play some games with a lot of gun guys so I thought I would ask.

Well done BBB,

Sounds like you've made a good job of it. Of course we're still here for you as well as H.

I hope your ride from here is as smooth as ours has been. Plenty of listening and talking and honesty. Keep trying to make those opportunities without the kids around.

Hope your b'day celebrations run smoothly

ST

I have been following along, not posted to you until now. I was glad to read this. I had only 2 friends that I could talk to about this after I found out about my H's long relationship and they tired quickly of listening. I would love to see him come here to post. Nothing has helped me more than the people here and Steve Harley. Your H will need support and encouragement.

One small thing. I know you told him about the A and I know you have been advised well on how to answer his questions but if there is anything still out there that you have not told him that you think or even suspect he might find important please tell him now, or maybe after the party. There will be little things that will come out when he asks but if there is anything big take the utmost care to tell him now yourself. It took 4 months to get all of my WH's story and it almost killed me. Others here would agree. It will set him back every time.

Good job bbb. I can't imagine telling this is any easier than hearing it. Ride the rollercoaster with him. Let him know we are all ready to help him get through this if he needs us.

This is great advice. Your WH is going to be questioning *everything* in the weeks to come. He thought he knew you, and he didn't. He thought X was happening on a certain day, and really it was Y. He will question his memory, what he's been told, and his own judgment. His world and his reality have literally been blown apart and he has no place solid on which to stand.

When he asks the same questions over and over, he's rebuilding his reality. He's making sure everything matches, that everything is consistent, and he's testing your honesty.

When you answer honestly, completely, and patiently - over and over - you are helping him to rebuild his world and his life.