I'm fairly new and not sure if I'm in the right forum but I'm in desperate need of advise. WH continues to tell me that he doesn't think he will ever be in love with me or have feelings for me. I have been doing my best with Plan A but have had a few LB's due to conversation about A and about OW. WH ended A on Jan 9 and had NC since 01/22. He did have contact on 02/26 due to work schedule and he tells me they had a long conversation about how what happen between them being a mistake and that he was relieved to see that when he saw her no feelings surfaced. We talked tonight about about their conversation and he assured me that he had no feelings and felt like that chapter was closed. However, he still feels like things between us will not change. When I found out about his A and started reading MB site I realized I had an EA. I was always under the assumption that an A had to be P to be an A. I confessed to him about my EA. Now, he has asked me several questions about it and tells me that his ego won't let him get past it. I'm afraid that I've lost the opportunity to recover our M. He tells me that things will never be the same between us due to both our A's. This is he A #2 for him. First A was sexual where A#2 was P/EA. He was willing to leave us (DD8 and I)for this woman. She too is married with no children. I know it's early in the recovery here (if we're even in recovery) to throw in the towel. I really want our marriage to work and get better but hearing him say those things really kills my spirit. I'm so raw, hanging on by a thread, about to loose my mind, sleep deprived and still walking on eggshells. I'm not sure what all I can do to show him that we can be better than we ever were. Should I avoid those types of conversation with him? I'm not sure what all Plan A is or if I'm doing it right. I started reading the book "Surviving an affair". Which has helped me quite a bit. Could his comments still be due to withdrawl or fog babble? I've made some changes in my life (that he has requested years back) and he has acknowledge them but tells me that he feels they are not genuine due to me doing them now as opposed to when he first asked me. I've told him that I finally agreed to make those changes because I had to make sure that I would be comfortable with making them part of my life forever without feeling like I was pushed into it and then resent him for it. I would appreciate any advise possible. I've rambled on and on hope i'm understood. Please help.

Thanks!

Hi forthelove,

Welcome to Marriagebuilders. I see that you originally posted on the Just Found Out forum and received a helpful post there.

There is more traffic here on the GQII forum but I have one suggestion that might make it easier for those of us with glazy-eye-syndrome to read your story and offer suggestions.

It would be helpful if you clicked on the edit button below and added spaces (hard returns) between paragraphs.

Again, welcome to MB.

Wishing you the best,
Ace