Husband and I had typical problems of married couples for the last couple years now. Been married 13 years together 18. I didn't realize how bad it was for him til he packed up and left 7 months ago. I have changed a great deal since and know that he would be very happy if he were to come home. He has OW who he works with and she has been around through out his work. He sees she is seeing other guys now behind his back but doesn't believe it. Says they are friends of hers b/c that's what she says. I know he doesn't trust her b/c he checks her phone records daily and keeps tabs on what shes doing. Says he has to catch her.

Anyway, he says he is trying to decide if he wants to come back or not. Personally I think he is waiting to see if it will work out between them two or not. Things between them two right now are not going well though. But he won't admit that. I feel he's cold to me b/c he tries to keep his feelings for me under wraps so as to not get my hopes up that he still feels for me. I know this b/c sometimes it comes out.

I have a hard time being happy around him b/c I am so sad about all of this and miss him so much. He is my soulmate and I love him more than anything. I try very hard b/c I know sad is unattractive and why would he want to come home to that. I do try to be supportive of him to help but it is very difficult. I have been doing Plan A a bit w/o realizing it but not fully.

Question is... Should I do Plan A fully or am I past that with him already moved out and move onto Plan B?? Need some help...I'm crushed!!! Thank you.

Welcome to marriagebuilders.

Hope you will move your post over to General Questions II where there is more traffic.

You need to do a good Plan A, showing him what a great wife you could be, but only for about 6 weeks. Then there is another plan.

Have you exposed the affair to everyone?

Yes everyone knowsabout the affair and all hope that it can work out b/c they know how much I want to reconcile my family. I will move the post. Thank you for the suggestion. I guess I will just cut and paste it. Thanks!!!