Plan A is about working a plan together. or is it just being nice the WS for 6 weeks no matter what. Even if we do not live together. Even through all his disgrutled conversation, keep the peace. I feel like I have made some love deposits, and he has begin to listen more, in between his going back and forth.

I text him tonight and thanked him for a long and needed conversation, even though the conversation was a little rough at times, I still listened. I told him how I appreciated his attention and engergy that he gave, and thanked him for making our house nice.

No response: I know not to expect anything but is this a

good start with the 6 week Plan A.

Plan A is about you making those changes in yourself that you have always wanted to make. It's about giving the wayward a taste of what life could be like if they smarten up and choose to come home and get into recovery.

It's about being honest how the A has damaged the life, but that there are ways to overcome them. Have you read the carrot and the stick on Plan A.

It is VITAL to remember that you CAN NOT expect ANYTHING. They are monsters, they are selfish creatures who are only out for themselves and getting that next fix.

I learned that this was MY Plan, that I could have FUN with it and be daring and innovative with what I could pull of. After I was the SPOUSE...

Keep making deposits and don't worry about how much is in the balance. Just keep filling it until you are DONE.....

I wish I had come to this site earlier, It has been 8 months since he left and we have not been intimate. He had continued to go back and forth regarding reconciliation, yesterday he said he wanted a divorce. can the carrot and stick approach work at this point. I did leave him a text saying that the conversation we had yesterday was needed and I appreciated him taking the time to talk, and I agreed that he has put a lot of time and energy in our marriage and home, and thanked him for that. He continued to say that he trusted me to share so much in our marriage, and that he gave everything, agreed. He also blames me for the lack of communication in our marriage, and that he said he tried over and over to get me to change. He said that he was not in a relationship. Now he just wants his things, and a divorce. He does not come around. I have only seen him 5 times in the last 8 months including dinner last week. But he did open up more today on the phone regarding our past and how he put his all in the marriage.

Should I move on to plan B at this time or continue for the 6 weeks with plan A - carrot and stick, as well as continue to work on myself, of course.

I am not fully aware of your story, but it sounds like dad is dealing with his feelings of the hurt his has caused his family.

Waywards to meet the rubber in the road.

Take some time for yourself and family.

Sunshine, it will help people get a full picture of your situation if you stick to one thread. I'm putting a link here to your thread so folks can get the background story and comment to you there:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2214083