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types of marriage counseling
#2223074 03/02/09 03:46 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 18
S
Shannon08
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Shannon08
Junior Member
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 18
My H is very unhappy with our MC. We've never been to any kind of therapy before, so we're not sure what's normal, or good MC.

In the simplest of terms, he wants the the MC and my IC to focus on the past and my emotional development and figure out why I had an A 23 years ago. He doesn't like that it's geared toward surviving the present and making a better future. He keeps repeating that "you can't know where you're going until you know where you've been".

I know my situation is a little different, because the A happened so far in the past, but I'm just wondering how other people's MC is set up. Is the emphasis put on the past, present or future of the marriage?
Re: types of marriage counseling
Shannon08 #2223084 03/02/09 04:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
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MelodyLane Offline
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MelodyLane
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Joined: Apr 2001
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ok, I can help. Tell him the reason you had the affair is because you had crummy boundaries. Thats why.

Now, you can move on. Please pay the lady on your way out.

Shannon, you are exactly right in that the answer to current problems is not to be found in the PAST. The answer is to focus on making your future great and you cant do that if you are stuck in the past.

Dr. Harley, clinical psychologist:

"An analysis of the wayward spouse's childhood or emotional state of mind in an effort to discover why he or she would have an affair is distracting and unnecessary. It takes precious time away from finding the real solutions. I know why people have affairs: We are all wired for it. Given certain conditions, we would all do it. Given other conditions, however, none of us would do it. So the goal of the first step is to discover the conditions that made the affair possible and eliminate them."

entire article here


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101

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