Your marriage can survive your husband's anger, it CANNOT survive an on-going affair.

Do not let FEAR stop you. Right now it is your greatest enemy.

I understand your fear, I really do.

I had to do MARJOR, NUCLEAR exposure. It was very hard and humiliating.

It was also catastrophic to the A and the A ended THAT DAY.

That is when we got into real recovery.

No way around it.

You need to expose OWH, WH's parents and siblings, work: Send email to CEO, CC Director of HR, board of directors.

You need a real time GPS installed in his car so you can catch him their if WH wants to continue to deny.

WH is cheap. He used move the furniture to his love nest condo so he doesn't have to buy furniture for his love nest. Also WH is repainting the house getting ready to sell it and make you homeless.

You still got a copy of the risky video she made - use it in exposing her.

The rules around here is that you expose the affair before trying to repair.

That is the wrong question. A more appropriate question would be "does your marriage have any chance of making it if you continue to help the infidels hide the affair?"

See, by keeping his secret, you are enabling the affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy and your H knows that you will ruin it if you expose him.

Your marriage can survive his temporary anger, it can't survive this affair if you do nothing to stop it.

The most powerful weapon you have against the affair is exposure. Exposure ruins the fantasy, which is like chemotherapy to cancer.

I suspect they have a LOVE NEST together and she is either split up or may still be living with her H. She may be playing the same manipulative, cruel, abusive game your H is playing: announcing he is "separated" and catting around like a single person.

I would find out who this OW is, gather up her husband's and parents name and do a wide spread nuclear exposure on one day. Doing it on one day, in one fell swoop, will have a tsunami effect on the infidels. Expose to Human Resources using a template developed by BritsBrat, a Houston corporate atty. On the same day, call up all your parents, close friends, the OW's husband and parents and expose the affair to them all.

Most importantly, tell your CHILD first so he will be prepared for the fallout. If you don't tell him the truth, your H will tell him lies and spin the truth to him.

Exposure is your very best weapon, RNmom. Turn on the lights in the crack house. The crackheads HATE getting high when everyone is watching!

Dr. Willard Harley, clinical psychologist and founder of Marriage Builders:

"I'm in the process of rewriting "Surviving an Affair" to add information about plan B. Some of the main points are as follows:

Whether in plan A or B, the world should know about your husband's affair. All of your relatives, your friends, your children, and the licensing board for your husband's lover. In some states a licensing board will revoke a license if a counselor is having an affair with a married person, client or not. This is because it's well known that affairs hurt families, especially children. And counselors know better than to have an affair.

The reason for the wide exposure is not to hurt the unfaithful spouse, but rather to end the fantasy. Your husband's secret second life made his affair possible, and the more you can to to make it public, the easier it is for him to see the damage he's doing. Keeping it secret does damage, but few know about it. Making it public helps everyone, including the unfaithful spouse and lover, see the affair for what it really is.

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When I first started recommending openness about an affair, I wasn't sure what would happen. But I did it because I knew it was the right thing to do. Now I know that for most couples it marks the beginning of recovery."