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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 35
H
has Offline OP
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H
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 35
I have been here before. Almost two years ago. I thought we were on the right track - things were going great - until I just recently discovered that H did not tell the complete truth the first time because he was scared I would leave him. What I thought was only an EA turned out to be way more. We have to book HNHN and are reading it. There are no MB counselors anywhere in our area, but I feel like we need more than just books. I was hoping to find someone to talk to or a group to join that could help us through this.
Any advice would be so greatly appreciated. This has been really hard and I feel like I'm just spinning in circles.
Thanks,
has


BS (me) 35
FWH (him) 36
Together 17 yrs
Married 11 yrs
3 Children 8,7,& 4
1st Dday 4/20/2007
2nd Dday 2/9/09
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,931
V
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V
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,931
Hi has

What about the MB weekend this month?

WH and I did it, it really is a good jump start to recovery. You have ongoing support after the weekend from MB. The books and audio CD's are included.

Your H would get great benefit from this as would yourself.

Take care.


M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA


Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 35
H
has Offline OP
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H
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 35
Thanks for the reply:)
Unfortunately, Minneapolis is 800 miles away. I did look into it before I posted, but it's just not possible.
This is why I was really hoping that someone would know of someone much closer that adheres to same principles as MB. I have searched Kentucky, Indiane, Ohio and Tenn with no luck.
I just keep running into walls.
has


BS (me) 35
FWH (him) 36
Together 17 yrs
Married 11 yrs
3 Children 8,7,& 4
1st Dday 4/20/2007
2nd Dday 2/9/09
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320
R
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R
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320
I do not know of any Marriage Builders MC's in KY.

You can do the MC with the Harley's by phone.

If that is too expensive (or insurance doesn't cover it), I would suggest interviewing a few MC's and ask them about their approach to MC.

If they are well read and bring up names like Shirley Glass or Pittman, or Gottman, or Terrence Real, they probably aren't complete idiots. During the interview, you can also ask them have they read Harley's books and what do they think of them.

If you don't like what they have to say, then try the next one.

What might make this more efficient is to check for MC's that are certified by other prominent marriage researchers. I think Gottman and Real both offer some "certification" plan.

The MC I went to was a Gottom/Real sort of devotee. (Which I think is pretty good, but a little weak for dealing with infidelity). But he has also read Glass, Pittman and Harley. So in the end, while he does not use the exact MB terminology, he gets to the same place. For example, on the first session we had he told my FWW that if she wasn't willing to go NC with OM, that it wasn't worth our time.


Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 35
H
has Offline OP
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H
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 35
Thank you!!! At least this gives me a place to start. I am Catholic and absolutely love my religion, but am truly disappointed that our diocese does not offer any sort of couseling or groups for infidelity. I have been looking into some Christian churches that might offer some mentoring programs along with doing MB.
Thank you for your time and advice. It helps to know others out there do care.
has


BS (me) 35
FWH (him) 36
Together 17 yrs
Married 11 yrs
3 Children 8,7,& 4
1st Dday 4/20/2007
2nd Dday 2/9/09
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
L
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L
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 7,298
Here's One

I'm in Frankfort. Waving.


Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4
T
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T
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4
hello im also in kentucky i live in louisville. my husband had an affair almost 7 months ago.been having a hard time dealing even had to go on meds. im 43 i have 3 children ages 22 17 and 13. would love to hear from you.

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 23
J
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J
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 23
Where in Ky are you exactly... Looks like Lucks found a good one if it is compatible with your location. Jaz


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