Hi everyone,

It's hard to believe that in a few weeks my D will have been final for a year, even harder to believe that I have been here for over 2 years. I am still lurking about posting from time to time.

Well, the time has come to post again.

I was served papers today from exWW - she is seeking sole custody now (our current arrangement is joint legal, with me having primary legal and physical custody, i.e. I get the final say in matters where we disagree). The court date is next Monday, March 9.

To make matters worse, my attorney is out of town so I am going to have to try to deal with getting a continuance with another lawyer that he recommended.

Keep me in your prayers guys and gals.

I saw your title and.......

I too will be in court March 9th at 1:30pm central time.
This will be my first appearance in court for temp custody initiated by me.

You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers my friend!

... on what grounds? Did something change for the better with her, or for the worse with you?

Don't lose heart. She has to show that she has a material change of circumstances or has to have justifiable reasons for the change.

What does she allege you've done to warrant this?

They won't give her sole custody unless you're some negligent person who hasn't handled the responsibility right.

So have heart. They may give her some more time and a more equitable arrangement, but they aren't going to give her sole custody unless there's something you're not telling us.

her basis for this was:


It's pretty generic, probably by design. The only change I can think of is the fact that she remarried back in October. Of course , this was after she was gone for nearly 4 months after the D to a treatment facility for her eating disorder (which she hid from everyone).

After her remarriage I asked my attorney about her using that as a way to gain back custody, and he said that remarriage alone was not enough to change custody. Maybe her new attorney feels differently.

She has probably trumped up some other story that casts me in a negative light, maybe about not being able to co-parent or whatever. That is easily countered by the fact that that IC who helped with co-parenting NEVER said anything of the sort.

My main objective for the moment is to get a continuance until my attorney is back in town.

You should be in pretty good shape. Unless there is something underlying, she would have to have a really good reason for the courts to change custody. How much is she paying you in child support?

Morning! I know that this whole thing makes you nervous but as I've said before I don't see how she had a leg to stand on.

God's on your side Eph! You can be a crack smoking daddy and as long as your are taking care of those kids and not beating them up or starving them, not attending to their needs, you can still have custody...

You have been doing awesome...stay at home dad, no child care other them yourself...you know you have this, but it's always that fear in the back of your head that says "well, maybe"

I think that her visitation history and her CS payment history is enough to speak for itself! Just becasue she got M doesn't mean anything...I'm learning that there are plenty of lawyers out there that is out just to get the retainer fee...saying that they can do this and do that and they can't...

I'm sure that she has painted a pretty picture of how she's so great and you are the horrible monster!

((((EPH))))

oh, yeah. The child support thing adds and interesting twist.

In the final order she was to pay $54/week. From May - October her mom paid it for her on a monthly basis. Starting in November, after her remarriage, she started getting behind, often paying several days late. Matter of fact, her new H was writing the checks from his own bank account.

She agreed to pay every two weeks, but continued to be anywhere from 7 - 10 days late. I finally filed paperwork to have her pay through the courts, and she was served on Feb 21. This timing is interesting, because all my paperwork was submitted on Feb 11, approved by a judge, and served to her within 10 days. Her paperwork was signed by her and her attorney on Jan 13, was filed with the court on Jan 28, yet I did not get served until March.

Now, I wonder if she told her attorney when she did all this that she was late on her child support?

Good to see you, Eph! I ditto all that Rin said.

And you are probably right about the timing. This is payback to you for going after her for CS. Hurt people, hurt people.

$54/week - who can actually raise a child on that?

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Fox

Late and behind are two different things.

Late = payment is made two days after it was due...

Behind = Payment was never made. Now Ex spouse owes you... Oh I don't know let me pull a number out of thin air.... $18,779.35 for example.

What catagory is your ex in?



No one... But my ex (Java the Butt) seems to think she was being raked over the coals... Apparently $198 a month was too much to pay for 3 kids...

Eph525, hang in there! We're all rooting for you!

Amazin - she has been late the last 7 payments, ranging from 2 days late to 16 days late - pretty much every payment since she got married.

Is she behind though? That's what they'll look at. If she owes you arrearage.

I don't think courts track if the payment was "on time" or not. Just if they make one...

For example... Your ex is supposed to pay $100 a month. Over the course of a year she should pay $1200 but has only paid $600. Then she is in arrearage and she owes you $600. In order to get that money you have to take her back to court and ask that in addition to the child support that she start paying on her arrearage.

When you're late on your car payment they charge a late fee. I don't think the courts do anything like that. Unless... you take them back to court. Then they can tack an intrest on the back child support that your ex owes...

I.E. If your ex owes $10,000 in back child support the court can order that a simple 12% interst be tacked on the arrerage.


I know it's hard not to worry about pending legal issues, but try not to. If you have custody it's pretty hard to get the courts to change that. Your ex would have to prove that you're an un-fit parent.

Once the child gets to a certain age most courts may take into concideration what the desires of the child are. But judges aren't stupid. Just because a 15 year old say's they want to drop out of school and go live with their boyfriend doesn't mean that's in the best interest of the child. It's the same thing with the non custodial parent. Just because the child wants to live with them doesn't mean thats in their best interest.

Hang in there.... I think you'll be fine.

Eph,

You are fine. Your WW is just trying to use the kids for financial gain. The courts will see through this. She has no basis to reopen custody and will get shot down. Maybe you can even get the courts to make her pay your legal expenses. I would push for it. That will teach her to try and take you to court again for no reason.

ITA with this!

Thanks everyone for the support thus far.

I got word today that the hearing scheduled for today has been officially canceled by the judge. The way I read the order, she has to re-file paperwork to get a new date now. Maybe she will reconsider.


to quote Wayne's World

"yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt."

Why was it cancelled?

sorry, forgot that minor detail


It was canceled/continued because of insufficient time between the court date and when I was served papers.

I hope that she does reconsider...like you mentioned I don't see that happening either...

the only thing that I ask and I think that you ahve a handle on is to be cution of living in that fear that she does have some cause to have things changed...I know that You KNOW she doesn't, but that didn't help me any...I still threw myself into the what if's...

Good job BTW!