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Yeah, I think you should. I think you should remind everyone how miserable they're making people with their selfishness and lack of morality. Keep it up. If it were me, I'd be taking out ads in the local papers saying 'ask me what my wife is doing with another man - or better yet, ask them' and list some phone numbers. YOU need to be mad, not sad. You'll never get her back by being nice. In fact, the only guys I've seen on here who got the wives back are the ones who went for the jugular. Exposed, got mad, told everyone they knew, embarrassed the h&ll out of both of them, kept harrassing them and their families, and STAYED MAD!
She has no respect for you cos you just sit back and let her eat cake.
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Joined: Nov 2008
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 383 |
Yeah, I think you should. I think you should remind everyone how miserable they're making people with their selfishness and lack of morality. Keep it up. If it were me, I'd be taking out ads in the local papers saying 'ask me what my wife is doing with another man - or better yet, ask them' and list some phone numbers. YOU need to be mad, not sad. You'll never get her back by being nice. In fact, the only guys I've seen on here who got the wives back are the ones who went for the jugular. Exposed, got mad, told everyone they knew, embarrassed the h&ll out of both of them, kept harrassing them and their families, and STAYED MAD!
She has no respect for you cos you just sit back and let her eat cake. I know that she is cake-eating but isn't that the essence of plan A? I give her the yummy cake (meet her ENs) and pray that I can bust through the love threshold? I know there is a difference between Plan A and Plan Doormat. I have to have boundaries. I won't watch the kids so she can go out with OM. I won't tolerate any communication between her and him while in my presence (via cell phone, texting, etc). I won't give her any more money than what child support will be. Etc. But I definitely haven't been using the "stick" in the carrot and stick method because I don't know what more to do that I haven't already done...also keeping in mind my situation with a possible custody battle... I am open for suggestions though. But at the moment, I'm just emotionally exhausted...
I am a 32 yr old betrayed husband.
My wayward wife is 31.
Married 3.5 years.
Found out about affair when it started around 10/1/08.
Affair started as emotional via internet, then went physical.
Wife moved out on 12/27/08.
I filed for legal separation to get visitation with my son--wife countered with big D but now says she is in no hurry to finalize the D??
Currently in Plan A.
3 yr-old son.
7 yr-old step son.
11 yr-old step daughter.
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Erichh
I exposed my wifes affair 2 months after I filed for D. When I filed for temp custody.....and she counter filed.....a copy of each exposure letter was attached to her papers. In her papers was also a paragraph about how I tried I get her "fired" by exposing at her work place.
We go to court on march 9th for temp custody.....do me a favor....wait till after Monday to make a decision. I will update you on if exposure had any negative impact on custody.
Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
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Joined: Dec 2007
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Mr Denial
" know that she is cake-eating but isn't that the essence of plan A? I give her the yummy cake "
No.
You want to stop WW from cake eating. WW is eating the OM's cake.
That's why WW is called a cake eater. You want to make the OM's cake bitter to eat. Take away WW's fun when she cake eats. That's why you should wage an exposure war.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I know that she is cake-eating but isn't that the essence of plan A? I give her the yummy cake (meet her ENs) and pray that I can bust through the love threshold? Erich, cakeeating is not the essence of Plan A, it is the essence of Plan B, meaning that when you see that, it is time to go into Plan B. I am sorry, but I think your wife is a user and just wants to be able to have 2 men meet her needs. Cake eating is abusive and it signals that the time for Plan B has come. Plan A is not meant to be a way a life, but a very temporary state preceding Plan B. She will continue to disappoint you until you just grow to hate her, and then your marriage will really be over. Or even worse, her games will effect you physically and mentally. You can't afford that.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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carp,
Your actions were warranted in the context of your marriage and totally justified since you were trying to end your W's affair.
This kind of stuff won't lose you custody.
A Plan B letter won't either. Erichh, I think it's time for Plan B. You're in a mode which lets your WW cake eat. She's obviously getting something by visiting you and staying there for a few hours and making things all wonderful and friendly and filling you with false hope.
You have a temp custody which will not be undone by deciding to go to Plan B. Not talking to your ex wife about things other than childhood logisitcs is completely acceptable to people in the system. No one expects you to be friends, especially in light of her cheating.
Go to Plan B so you don't torture yourself anymore.
D-Day 28 Feb 06
Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06
DD6
DS4(Twin1)
DS4(Twin2)
She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.
Never going to happen.
Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
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Thx for the input Pom!
I was just putting info out there for Erichh.
I hope your input helps him.....I know it makes me feel better!
Me 35
W 31
D12
D9
Exposure day 12/29/08 (Ws 32nd bday)
I wanted to fix marriage June 1st
A found out June 11th
W came home August 18th till the end
BS papers from her Oct 2nd
Real papers from me Oct 17th
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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What part of this woman's history do you not understand? She is not marriage material. Get a quick divorce and move on with your life. Plan B this selfish woman from now on. Why do you feel the need to try and save her from herself? You can't. Why do you get your hopes up? You know how she is. She ain't gonna change. It's a shame your child is involved in this mess, but that's life. She is the one that subjected him to this. In your first attempt to choose a life mate, you chose poorly. Use your experience to make a better choice the next time.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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