So, I get to see her everyday at school when I drop off my son. She makes it a point to wait for me so that she can smile and wave at me. I have thus far been the bigger person, I ignore her. Being the bigger person is starting to wear on my nerves. Do I have any legal action available to me that anybody knows of? I looked up restraining orders, but that appears to just be for domestic violence cases here in Florida. I was wondering if I could video tape her little morning "Hello" for several weeks, if I would be able to take her to court. I guess I should just let it go, but I think the shameless-ness should be rewarded in some way.
Thoughts?

Does the school know of her affair? Can you change schools on the basis of the affair?

Frankly, I would be raising holy hell to get her fired or transferred so I wouldn't have my child around a skank. Who wants to look at the OW every morning?

OHmigosh, your H works with the OW so this really is hopeless! Never mind!

Dr. Harley in Coping with Infidelity: Part 2
How Should Affairs End?


Never see or communicate with a former lover

Once an affair is first revealed, whether it's discovered or admitted, the victimized spouse is usually in a state of shock. The first reaction is usually panic, but it's quickly followed by anger. Divorce and sometimes even murder are contemplated. But after some time passes (usually about three weeks), most couples decide that they will try to pull together and save their marriage.

The one having an affair is in no position to bargain, but he or she usually tries anyway. The bargaining effort usually boils down to somehow keeping the lover in the loop. You'd think that the unfaithful spouse would be so aware of his or her weaknesses, and so aware of the pain inflicted, that every effort would be made to avoid further contact with the lover as an act of thoughtfulness to the stunned spouse. But instead, the unfaithful spouse argues that the relationship was "only sexual" or was "emotional but not sexual" or some other peculiar description to prove that continued contact with the lover would be okay.

Most victimized spouses intuitively understand that all contact with a lover must end for life. Permanent separation not only helps prevent a renewal of the affair, but it is also a crucial gesture of consideration to someone who has been through he11. What victimized spouse would ever want to know that his or her spouse is seeing or communicating with a former lover at work or in some other activity?

In spite of career sacrifices, friendships, and issues relating to children's schooling, I am adamant in recommending that there be no contact with a former lover for life. For many, that means a move to another state. But to do otherwise fails to recognize the nature of addiction and its cure.

<snip>

We don't know if R.J. still sees his lover, but he says he has broken off all contact. In many cases where a person is still in town, that's hard to prove. But one thing's for sure, if he ever does see his lover, it will put him in a state of perpetual withdrawal from his addiction, and make the resolution of his marriage essentially impossible. In fact, one of the reasons he is not recovering after three months of separation may be that he is not being truthful about the separation.

Entire article at: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5060_qa.html

How to Survive an Affair chapter in HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS
p. 177

...I have seen husbands build new and wonderful relationships with their wives but then go back to their lovers after five or six years of what appeared to be marital bliss. When I ask them why, they inevitably tell me they miss the woman terribly and still love her. At the same time they stoutly affirm they love their wives dearly and would not think of leaving them.

I believe a man like this has told the truth. He is hopelessly entangled and needs all the help possible to be kept away from his lover and stay faithful to his wife. I often recommend that a man once involved in an affair come in to see me every three to six months on an indefinite basis, just to talk about how things are going and to let me know how successfully he has stayed away from his lover. He must resign himself to a lifetime without her. HE MUST CERTAINLY NOT WORK WITH HIS FORMER LOVER AND SHOULD PROBABLY LIVE IN SOME OTHER CITY OR STATE. Even with those restrictions the desire for her company persists...

If she works at the school she has legit reason to be there. It would be difficult to sway most people that this is harassment. If you aren't willing to expose the A to the school, I'm not sure how much you can really do.

Me...once my child was out of ear shot and OW was still there smiling and waving like an idiot, I'd wave back and with a big smile say very loudly something like "Good morning skankho!!! Has your latest herpes outbreak cleared up?!!" Drive off with a big smile. Repeat the next day with some other colorful greeting. After a few parents overhear, she'll likely go away.

Hi tjp,

Can we clarify the issue about the school? You said on another thread that your H and OW both work on the night shift, so I take it that the jobs are not at the school? Your children just happen to go to the same school that her children attend?

What kind of jobs do WH and OW do? You say H informed his supervisor, who refused to take action. If you let us know the line of work they are in, we might be able to suggest ways of making the employers fear a harassment suit.

Another thought: if this affair over, why do you think OW waves and laughs in your face as she does? This would suggest that she is mocking you for having lost some battle. The affair is almost certainly continuing.

You mentioned her boyfriend; he discovered your H in his house. Is OW still with that boyfriend? Have you exposed to him?

But most importantly for me, you asked this (on your other thread):

"Anybody have ideas that would help me make him see that he is choosing his job over his wife and kids? He doesn't see it that way."

Perhaps he does not see it that way because it isn't that way. Are you prepared to leave him if he does not leave his job and protect you from this affair? If you continue tolerating this affair and the huge disrespect it represents,then no wonder H does not recognise the choice he is making. He does not have to choose between his marriage and his affair, so he is choosing to have both.

You have started threads, received a few responses, not responded yourself and disappeared, then come back saying that the problem is the same. What do you expect, if you do not take action about this affair? What are you prepared to do with the suggestions that people have made to you? MelodyLane suggested Plan B to you some time ago. Are you prepared to take that, or any other step?

The OW is laughing in your face on a daily basis about having slept with your H. How long are you going to put up with that insult?

Actually, the real problem lies with your H and his lack of respect for you. What are you prepared to do about that?

1 in 5 people have herpes and it may offend or even hurt someone's feelings (besides your target) if they heard that in a taunting manner. Just a thought....

Herpes, the clap, crabs, pick your poison. There doesn't have to be mention of any STD. The point was to shut the OW down so she'd stop with her tauting. Not sure if OP is willing to doing anything. Even if she ignores OW and OW stops her morning greeting routine, her WH still works with the tramp. OP is in for death by a thousand cuts. The taunting is the least of her troubles. WH is the problem.

Do what you can to change schools. This will forever haunt you and as long as you are available, the OW will continue to pester you. Take away her ammo.

If it's true that your H and OW still work together, then I agree that this is the LEAST of your worries. There MUST MUST MUST be NC for ever and ever or you will never get out of this mess.