Dday was in June after we separated so she could "find herself". I stayed with her parents, she stayed in our house and had moved OM in while we were supposed to be working things out. She's lived with OM in "our" house ever since with my son (I have shared custody, 2-1/2 y/o) and her daughter 10...I don't pay for the house anymore...

Divorce was final early January, she remarried OM early february without telling me, her family or the kids. I don't know if they know yet still.....she looks pregnant...I don't know.

WTF....Could she possibly get away with this?? I'm so confused.

Marriage was okay..OM is a coworker..she a rich spoiled brat.

Something like 70% of "affairages" (marriage to affair partner) end in divorce. The statistic is way higher than regular married/divorced statistics.

This is exactly why we tell men not to leave their homes and abandon their families. The WW simply moves a new man in to replace them.

I am so sorry, Walsh.

I left because she asked me to, to save our marriage. I did not abandon them at all...she abandoned me.

So is this her third marriage? YIKES.

It is sure to fail, and then she can work on number 4.

Walsh, I am sorry to hear about WW running off and getting M. That is my biggest fear with WH. It seems they have an agenda, move out, wait till after the holidays, serve D papers and then ??? M...makes me sick.

It would be her second, she wasn't married to her daughters father.


Throughout the whole year she lied to me, manipulated, used our marriage counselor's (she went by herself) "advice" to convince me to do things that he probably never said to do. Never showed any remorse to me or the kids or her family.

I'm sick to my stomach. I don't understand how someone can do all this to a husband who by most standards was what women dream of having.....

It's so unfair. I read a lot about how to not get divorced and remairried and she did everything wrong and I have to watch her get away with it........the world is so upside down to me.

Did that save your marriage? I would point out that your leaving made it possible for her to move in your replacement and expose your children to her corruption. Who was there to protect your children when you just left them? Many courts view this as abandonment, and rightly so. It is abandonment.

Wow thanks.. It's my fault I see... great.

Yes, it is your fault that you LEFT and allowed the OM to move in and take your place without a fight.

Let's review ...

WW has A ... BH does nothing to stop the A ... WW continues her self-destructive behavior and M's OM soon after D.

Pretty much what you would expect, I'd say!!!

Look, I am not trying to make you worse. I realize you have been through hell. But your situation is exactly why we tell betrayed husbands to never ever leave their homes. You can see what that got you. The OM just moved in and took your place..........WITH EASE. You gave up your own family without a fight.

And who knows where this would have ended up if you would not have moved out and made it very difficult for her to replace you? You might have outlasted the affair, because odds favored your marriage, not the affair. But the affair was given better odds when you moved out and handed the infidels a victory.

Too late....you pretty much just destoyed me all over again.

It's not you fault, your wifes affair is 100% her fault.

What Melody is saying is that you made the most common mistake men make. Unfortuanatly it is also the absolute most detremental mistake they can make.

Give it a few years.

I just don't understand why you men allow women to kick you out of your own homes. You do not have to legally leave and it only ENABLES THE AFFAIR and exposes your children to the affair.

The OM moves right in and takes your place.

If my H told me to leave my own home he would have to be flanked by a court order and at least THREE Texas sheriffs with bigger guns than mine.

But a man will just give up and abandon his family without a whimper. Why do you guys do that?

Walsh,

Please do not get angry at what we are saying to you. MB is about saving marriages. Sometimes the deck is stacked against the BS from the beginning.

So.....what to do? You use the MB principals that you learn here as well as the advice.....AND LEARN TO BE A BETTER H IN THE FUTURE!!

My thought is that a great H can't help but be a good Dad. You do not have a W at this point so concentrate on YOURSELF and your CHILDREN....no better joy in life!

Can you not learn from your mistakes and see your own hand in this end result? Your actions very much contributed to this outcome.

Here is the simple truth, Walsh, and your situation very aptly demonstrates this, if you cooperate with someone whose goal is the destruction of your marriage, you will end up with a ...........................DESTROYED MARRIAGE. This is why it is important to NOT cooperate with such a person. As you can see, it did not endear your wife to you. It only enabled her affair.

Can you see how that simple truth has played out in your marriage? You say you "left to save your marriage." Was your marriage saved? Of course not. that is because if one wants to "save a marriage" they do not move out, they STAY to repair the marriage. If I say I am going to fix my car, I don't drive to CLEVELAND, I go out in the garage where the car IS LOCATED and work on it. I can't "fix" something that is not there.

Here is a thread I started that addresses you guys who abandon your families like this: Men, do not leave your home!

What's done is done Walsh. Don't let anyone here beat you up for the past. It's a pointless exercise.

Do what you can now for yourself and your children.

He is not being "beat up." It is not "pointless" to learn from one's mistakes.