LG, those were my thoughts exactly about her wanting advice on beating the poly!

Ok, move on folks--nothing more to see here. LOL

Stick a fork in her--she's done.

Or may I suggest TOW website, You might get more sympathy over there.

Ummmm...ok, there's ONE question I would flunk!

No part of me is trying to "beat" this exam. And in fact, my husband would get to work with the examiner to develop the questions that he wants. I think that is great. He can also come with me if he wants to. The examiner said so. I have questioned the legitimacy of a poly on this blog before and I was 2x4'd for it with everyone saying that they are over 80% accurate and there are very few ways to beat them. I, in no way, want to "beat" this exam. I want it to show that I am being truthful and honest. I am not trying to "fish". I am just trying to make the best choice possible.

Thank you for your post. So, if a blank response is deception, and they ask you the square root of 2384, which I am sorry, how does anyone know that off the top of their head, how did you pass the test. And NO, I am not asking this to get tips on how to "beat" the exam, I am just curious because I would have to be a blank on that question.

This question alone gives you away.

Well in her defense (and I am repulsed by the lying so I'm not really defending her, Iam), *I* couldn't answer that question either so I'm curious how that could be a control question!

Lindz,

If the examiner asks a question to which he knows you do not know the answer, and to which you know you are not giving the correct answer, then your physiological response should be similar to that for a lie.

If you give the same response as you gave to the important questions then this may indicated that you are in conscious control of your pulse rate, breathing, blood pressure, etc. In a sense the control question forces you to LIE.

I never asked him if he actually did the calculation btw, but I do know my answer was incorrect.

God Bless
NJ

Ya! That is all I was trying to ask... how can a question that NO ONE, unless they are a math genius, would know, be a control question????? I thought control questions were absolutes like, "Is your name John Doe?". I AM NOT, IN ANY WAY, TRYING TO "BEAT" THE POLY.

I suggest that you forget the polygraph.

You haven't got a clue on how to help hubby recover. Spend the money on a counseling appointment with the Harleys, because your marriage is on the verge of ending.

I have suggested to him that I want to have a session with with Harley's. He said that he will not see anyone till all the lies are out and that the truth is on the table. That is why I spent last week working on writing out all the lies on paper for him.

Lindz,

how did you pass the test

He could tell which questions I answered truthfully and which ones I did not.

One of the questions was, "was I truthful about all the events of that day" and I had given a full and complete account exhausting every detail, even some incriminating ones they didn't know about. That question I passed.

Another question was "are there any other details about this matter which I have not revealed" I flunked this question, but I was allowed to slide based on my truthful answer to the first question.

God Bless
NJ

Then STOP defending yourself. That IS what you are doing here.
Follow lousygolfer's advice to the letter.

Stop responding to everyone that NOW you are telling the truth and that you are just trying to figure out how to help your poor H.

No one believes you and no one should.

And IF the unthinkable should occur(it won't) and you should be found lying when you ARE telling the truth....well...too bad.

You should not have been doing anything that you would need a polygraph anyway.

In my opinion, your only question about a polygraph needs to be,
"Where and when do I show up?"

You are still very foggy.

Lindz,

Also I almost forgot, if you have anything in your past of a sexual or emotional nature you have not revealed to your husband you should likely do so before you take the test. It is amazing all the stuff that gets dredged up in your mind before you take the seat. He stopped the test I told him about it and then we started the test again.

In my instance tons of illegal stuff I did as a kid flashed through my head, not sure if it was relevant but it came back anyhow.

God Bless
NJ

Ive never posted to you before and am not familiar with your story but I can tell you what I see here.

You are in damage control mode.

A poster asked you on your H's thread about telling a friend she was not welcome at a shower. You responded:



In your posts, you say a bunch of words but really say nothing. To give the illusion of truth.

Sheesh, everyone knows that. Even I know that: = 2 Sqrt[587] = 48.826222462934811807591421026492...

Took me a few secs, but do I pass?

My other answer was going to be, “He11 if I know.”

This is a real hoot: “How did you pass the test?”

I think Aph is right. I googled it and the answer was
48.8262225.

He knows more math, so you need to go with his answer.

Folks,

Since square roots are so funny, SQRT(3) = 1.732 and that is George Washingtons birth year, so in 2032 he will be 300, in the case he is still alive.

Even funnier SQRT (300) = 17.32! and this relationship can be used to derive a lookup table for square roots which can be scaled to different ranges just by shifting. Turns out the square root function has an infinite number of derivatives too, I learned that from an actuary.

NJ

nice try

Every time the question of a polygraph comes up I want to scream...

This stuff drives me just totally, barkin' at the moon, running naked in the public square, want to fight somebody bigger’n me (6’4” 205 if there are any takers) NUTZ…

The ONLY reason to even consider a polygraph is for the BS to know that they have gotten the truth. If yes, then it is still up to the BS to decide if recovery is even an option. If not, then what will happen as a result? Is the BS ready to end the marriage if the polygraph is failed? Not usually, IME.

For the WS the reason to take the polygraph is usually to PROVE that the truth is now known and that “we can move on from this…” The problem with this is that the lies that took place were still lies, up to and including the stuff that usually comes out on the eve of the polygraph test. (Reminds me of a college student who parties, drinks beer all night, hangs out with his buds and on the night before the test tries to learn quantum physics…)

Has anybody actually passed one of these things (relative to infidelity) that did not unload their soul the night before the test was to take place? I think not...

What that suggests to me is that there really has not been truthfulness up to that point. WHY NOT? THAT is the issue here. In order to request that the WS take a polygraph, the BS must be pretty sure that the truth is not already known. And that fact is what the problem is…The lies continue long after the affair is over. This despite the fact that any time a WS comes here and says they are confessing their affair, they are told in no uncertain terms that only total RADICAL honesty is going to work.

But instead the WS normally tries to drag things out, give answers only in direct reply to specific questions in a specific enough way for the BS to buy the answer, usually until some later date at which a little more truth comes out and then the whole cycle repeats itself.

Why does a BS feel they are still being lied to by the WS? Usually it is because they are still being lied to, at least in some ways.

Why does a WS hesitate to take a polygraph? It’s usually because they are still withholding information…

And normally, the affair turns out to be the tip of the iceberg! There inevitably ends up being some deep dark secret, long buried, sometimes predating the marriage itself that sheds the WS in a light that is less than flattering. The whole marriage often turns out to be based on lies and withheld information.

If I lie to my wife because I am afraid to let her know the “real me” I am choosing to base our relationship on a lie rather than the truth. One tiny “white lie” gets compounded until decisions are made based on totally false information.

If I withhold that I am an alcoholic and marry my wife who does not know about my alcoholism I must continue to lie in order to hide my problem from her till the day one of us dies. The same applies if I am a recovering drug addict, a tax cheat, a serial rapist or an axe murderer…

And it also applies if I tend to have lower boundaries during stressful times in my life, have jumped in and out of relationships all my life or even had a moment of weakness in which I hired a prostitute while out with my friends on R&R after boot camp.

But what gets missed in all of this is that we also lie about every day things by withholding information about those as well. If my ENs are not getting met by my wife, whose responsibility is it for me to change things?

Answer: It is MY responsibility…

If I withhold information from my wife that affects me, it affects her as well.

And the problem is not just the lies that resulted from the hiding of the affair but a lack of honesty all around in most cases. And THAT is what the BS has to find out about in order to decide if the marriage is even worth saving. Because if the WS has lied this much for this long, what else has been hidden all along that might make the BS decide the result is not worth the effort.

It is not our strengths that point to our character, but our weaknesses. Honesty about weakness is the honesty that counts and while a polygraph might be able to reveal when something is being hidden, it seldom reveals all that has been hidden.

The only possible solution to recovery from the WS position is total, unmitigated, undiluted honesty in everything going forward. Letting it out a little at a time instead of just telling the truth is what leads to a polygraph.

And armed with the truth, it is still within the right of every BS to end the marriage.

But only the truth can convince them to try to save it.

Tell the whole truth and maybe end up divorced or tell less than the whole truth and maybe end up divorced…or worse, end up in a relationship that is still based on lies.

As far as I’m concerned the only question to be asked is “Are there any other things you have lied about?” If yes, PACK NOW…If no, then we’ll see…

Truth just isn’t relative…

And the worst reason to ever lie is to protect the one you are lying to.

Polygraph or not, come clean; be honest, tell the truth…

JMO

Mark

Sqrt[300] = Sqrt[3 * 100] = 10 Sqrt[3] which means you are correct!

Actually, sqrt[3] = George’s birthday divided by 1000. And the Sqrt[3/1000] = 0.0547722557505166113456969… For whatever that's worth.

Unless, of course, if you are using the ancient Sumerian calendar (e.g. in the third year of the reign of Lugalzaggesi.). Then George’s birthday would be based on King George’s accession. But I wouldn’t dream of insulting dear old George W by using that date for his birthday.

In Mayan years his bd is somewhere around October 3, 3114, and the square root of 3114 is 55.803225713… (I’m getting lazier by the minute)…

And if we use the Greek Orthodox (Julian) calendar. Then it is, err, something else...

But don't ask me for George’s sidereal dates. Sidereal time gives me a headache.




Err, are there any trolls still around?