Help! I can't believe this has happened to me. After an argument at the end of January I asked my husband if he didn't want to be with me anymore. His reply was I don't think so. Two weeks later after several conversations he walked out. He actually called me at work on a Friday at 4:30 to tell me he was gone. He wouldn't tell me where he was. I had discovered that he had been talking to a girl at a number I found on his cell phone bill.

This situation is complicated because my husband's parents died at very young ages 4 years ago (only 4 months apart). After that my husband slipped into a depression and our marriage fell victim. He has always been a drinker but has become an alcoholic after his parents died. He became a virtual recluse - never wanted to go anywhere or do anything.

The week after he left he came over on Saturday. He said he was commited to honoring our financial obligations together. He has never come out and said he wants a divorce. He has come over the last 3 Saturdays to spend time with me and said he wants to talk to me more because he thinks we can be friends. I am really uncomfortable with this since he still wouldn't tell me where he was staying. He told me that he would tell me when he was ready. So since he wouldn't tell me I hired a PI and had him followed. Low and behold he's staying in some apartments with the girl he had been talking to on the phone who also used to work with him. What makes this even worse is that I suffered a miscarriage and my father died at the end of December. He walked out at one of the worse times of my life.

Last Saturday I told him I didn't think we should talk about anything other than our finanical responsibilities together. He was very shocked by this. I was very upset and crying and he said that he thinks I don't know what I want but we could do it my way. He kept picking at me and even accused me of having a new relationship. He said anyone that comes into our house better keep their hands off his property. My friends say that includes me - he still considers me his property. I finally started yelling at him and told him that he doesn't realize how much he hurt me by walking out. Then I told him I know the truth that he's been cheating on my and I know everything. He was stunned - deer in the headlights. He says he still loves me very much and he misses our home. However he hasn't said anything about coming back. His appearance has dramatically declined. I do believe he loves me and that's where I'm so confused. His judgment is so clouded by alcohol and depression that I don't think he can make a normal thought in his head. I think the girlfriend is a partyer like him. After I confronted him about the affair he said he had to leave. I haven't talked to him since. He hasn't called me at all and its been 5 days. I am devestated and I don't know what to do next. Is he on the fence? I don't think he knows what he wants but now I'm scared that he'll never come back because I confronted him with the truth. Please help!

Hi Jilted2235,

I am a moderator here. I moved your post to a thread of it's own so that you will get more replies.