I was married 10 years, during which time hub was addicted to porn to the severity of it, was emotionally abusive to me and more the 3 children, a very negative, untactful person all together. I tried counseling over the years as well as love and patience. Nothing seemd to help him with the issues that were destructive to the family. I separated for 6 months at which time I decided to divorce as I had tried all avenues of saving the marriage. It has now been 7 months. During the time we were separated, he got on different online dating sites and made friends with several women. After the divorce was final last August, he flew back and forth to a few different states to meet some of the women he met online. Once, two months after we divorced, he showed up at my church to our sons program and he brought a lady with him. 2 weeks ago he told me he would not be able to see the kids this week cuz he was getting married. He then went on to tell me that the lady he is marrying (5 years older than him) he has only known 4 months. He just married on Monday this week at a hotel in Vegas. When he told me I did make the comment about how that was pretty quick for how long h knew her, but he did not seem to care about that. I did not say anything else though. He told me that this lady has 3 children/daughters at home. My first thought was that he does not like kids, could not handle ours, how was he going to handle hers? He yelled all the time at ours and had no patience at all. Would always make comments like "When they turn 18 and move out of the house everything will be so nice." He then told me this lady has two children out of the home, on their own. I laughed cuz he is not a family type of guy. Part of me feels bad for this lady as I dont think she knows really who shes getting involved with. Oh well. I guess my question is a few things. First, yeah it kinda hurt when I learned he was getting married, and so fast, but at the same time, I almost feel relieved. For some reason, even though we were divorced, I still felt connected/responsible for him somehow. Now I feel that is gone. He is no longer my responsibility and that feels nice. 2nd, it kinda hurts my feelings that he does stuff with her that he would never do with me like go to dances, try new activities etc. Silly stuff, but he never would with me during the ten years no matter how hard I tried, and now he is just doing everything for her and he hasnt even know her that long. Another concern, I am custodial p[arent of the kids, but he has visitation on an equal basis, but he does not take advantage of this like he shoul. He does not see them but only two times a week for 3 hours each. He then told me that this lady he met online (who lives out west...out of state) that he is planning on moving to her state asap, the latest June. He then told me that he would plan on seeing the kids 1.5 months every summer and every other christmas. My first thought was "Wow! Thats it?" but I did not say a word. His kids are not a high priority for him. I have dated a little but have no real feelings for any guys. It is fun for me to go out, but I dont ever feel anything for any of the guys. I guess I am scared to. Been hurt too much. I just have a lot of feelings going on right now about everything. I like to date, but the guys I go out with are all looking for a serious relationship right now, and I am not, atleast I dont think. Then I feel bad for going out with them. Not sure what I should do right now. What is the best way to hel myself so i can move on, and once again begin to have feelings for someone and let my guard down? Any ideas?

My brother just went through this and I notice the difference in him. He was experiencing some depression and anger after his divorce. This really helped him.

It's Catholic based, but anybody's welcomed. It's basically a grief counseling retreat. You sound like you're in the right place for this retreat. It's not really for fresh wounds, more for people that are ready to let go and don't know how.

Beginning Experience

The reason he's doing things with this new woman that he never did with you is because he's "in love." When people are in love they are more generous, giving and open than they are normally. They are not themselves. Being "in love" is just a feeling and it comes and goes. When it goes he will be himself again...his true self.

When you divorce you have to divorce because you would rather be single than stay married to this person. If they go on to be happily married it shouldn't matter to you because all you wanted was to get them out of your life.

When you start wishing them misery or wishing they would be sorry then it's a sign that you haven't let go.