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#2230311 03/14/09 10:40 AM
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I don't know where to start or if I am posting in the right place. My WW has come back into my life, after 5 years of being apart. Not that she has ever left my life as we have two DD. Her A ended in a bad way and the past five years have been full of her telling me how sorry she is, how much she loves me, how I am the only one. We have a conection she is unable to find with anyone else.

Fact is, everytime she would tell me any of this, she always had two or more men she was involved in. So I never got involved with her, untill six months ago.

I guess I have wanted to belive her so much I did. She called to tell me that she was done. The light came on and after years she has come to understand what was right in front of her was what she was looking for all along.

Well we sat down and had a long talk, she came clean on a lot of things, such as the A I was aware of, the one that broke us up was not her first.

I sat in wonder as she told me how most everything I thought our M was untrue. As it turns out most everything has been a lie.

After a week of talking, both of us telling the truth we came to the idea we could make this work. My WW and I with a new found honesty and desire to work on everything. I was excited as were my DD's.

Well I took the plung, I moved back in. The first week was amazing. Then the two by four upside the head.

I found an im chat on our computer she was having, for whatever reason she did not close out when she came to bed. It was with a guy she has never meet yet is friends with on Facebook. She went on about how she has no idea why she let me back in her life. How I'm not realy the one, how much she would like to get together with him and so on.

That was only the first of three more I found over the next three weeks, and each time she told me how it was a mistake, she would never do it again, she was sorry and what right did I have to look at her private messages.

To make a long story short, I am out again. Been two months now, and guess what she is calling me again, telling me all the same stuff over and over.

What does she want.


Me BS (41)
DD 10
DD 8
WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
Lie2me #2230312 03/14/09 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Lie2me
What does she want.

She wants the safety and security of a "sure thing" while having the freedom to explore the "new and exciting".

It's up to you to decide if you want to be her "sure thing" under these circumstances.

And what a stinkin' rotten thing to do to your DDs mad Get their hopes up of an intact family.


Last edited by Pepperband; 03/14/09 10:47 AM.
Lie2me #2230313 03/14/09 10:48 AM
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Welcome. Sounds like your wife is a serial cheater and has a character defect. She apparently hasn't done the work to make changes, and instead just jumps from man to man.

Glad you are not falling for her babble. During the time you were apart did you date anyone?

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I am not a fan of being her "sure thing".

This has been such a hard ride for so many years.

I so wanted to belive her, I thought she had some true honesty in what she was saying.

The fact is I cant trust her can I?


Me BS (41)
DD 10
DD 8
WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
Lie2me #2230316 03/14/09 10:51 AM
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Umm... how can I say this?

I think it's time for a...

PERMANENT PLAN B!

PLEASE tell me that your DDs are staying with YOU and not that chameleon of a woman...



ManInMotion
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Date, no not really.

I have gone out a few times, but have spent most of my time alone or with my two DD's.


Me BS (41)
DD 10
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WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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My kids are with me full time. They see my WW every other weekend. We share the holiday time, and she takes them on vacation each summer.

The time when they come home is so very hard. They are so differant than when they left. It takes two or three days for them to become the kids that left to go see Mom.


Me BS (41)
DD 10
DD 8
WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
Lie2me #2230321 03/14/09 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Lie2me
To make a long story short, I am out again. Been two months now, and guess what she is calling me again, telling me all the same stuff over and over.

What does she want.

She wants a nice guy to take out the trash and be there when she is between studs. Do you want to be the fill in guy?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Lie2me #2230322 03/14/09 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Lie2me
I am not a fan of being her "sure thing".

This has been such a hard ride for so many years.

How about getting off the roller coaster? If you don't like living like this, then STOP.

You could have gotten off a long time ago.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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No, I don't want to be the fill in guy.

I want and have always wanted to work on our M.

Have a great place for our kids to be and carry on from there.

The past five years have been an emotional whirlwind for me and my kids, and I thought this time she was honest and willing to work on this with us.


Me BS (41)
DD 10
DD 8
WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
Lie2me #2230325 03/14/09 10:58 AM
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Do you want to stop her. Or are you just curious. First she has a desperate desire to be loved. Not to love. Next of course she is a serial cheater.

The way to stop her. Tell her that you would never invest anything more in her then an orgasm. She doesn't have the slightest idea of what love and commitment is. And that she can hang around as long as she wants. That is until you find someone to love that will not go out catting around. Then even the orgasm will be gone.

Last edited by ouchthathurt; 03/14/09 10:59 AM.
Lie2me #2230326 03/14/09 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Lie2me
The past five years have been an emotional whirlwind for me and my kids, and I thought this time she was honest and willing to work on this with us.

Well, are you ready now to get off the roller coaster?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Lie2me Offline OP
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I guess you are right.


Me BS (41)
DD 10
DD 8
WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
Lie2me #2230328 03/14/09 11:00 AM
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Just asking but are you sure the kids are your bio kids? If so have you made the legal custody arrangements, she sounds like a dangerous mother. Some of those men might like little girls.



Me 42 BS
Wife 41 FWW (exwife now)
Divorced 10/14/2008
S 21
D 18
D 16
S, S 13 (twins)
Grandson 8 months
Lie2me #2230329 03/14/09 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Lie2me
My kids are with me full time.

Excellent.

My advice: D your WW as quickly as possible, and get on with your life. Limt your contact with your WW to discuss ONLY D and CS issues. Your DDs need to see what a relationship with true commitment looks like, and what you've got going on ain't it.



ManInMotion
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Lie2me Offline OP
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You are right, she has no idea on commitment.

I guess it is time to get off the ride as Melody said.


Me BS (41)
DD 10
DD 8
WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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Lie2me Offline OP
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My oldest daughter is not mine. I did adopt her though and love her more than life itself. My second daughter is mine, a little mini me.


Me BS (41)
DD 10
DD 8
WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
Lie2me #2230333 03/14/09 11:05 AM
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OK,

Then protect those kids from this situation, really picking up strangers on the internet is not safe for them.




Me 42 BS
Wife 41 FWW (exwife now)
Divorced 10/14/2008
S 21
D 18
D 16
S, S 13 (twins)
Grandson 8 months
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Originally Posted by 6yearsleft
Just asking but are you sure the kids are your bio kids? If so have you made the legal custody arrangements, she sounds like a dangerous mother. Some of those men might like little girls.

[u][i][b]Abuse Risk Seen Worse As Families Change[/b][/i][/u]

- Children living in households with unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two biological
parents, according to a study of Missouri abuse reports published in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2005.


- Children living in stepfamilies or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with two biological or adoptive parents, according to several studies co-authored by David Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center.

- Girls whose parents divorce are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault, whether they live with their mother or their father, according to research by Robin Wilson, a family law professor at Washington and Lee University. . .

- The previous version of the study, released in 1996, concluded that children of single parents had a 77 percent greater risk of being harmed by physical abuse than children living with both parents. But the new version will delve much deeper into the specifics of family structure and cohabitation, according to project director Andrea Sedlak.





"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Lie2me Offline OP
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I do the best that I can. They are with me full time. I limit the time they have with her, although she does still see them.

I am sure they hate me for the fact they don't see Mom enough as they are so differant when they come home from the time they do have with her.

I am sure they would rather be with her full time.


Me BS (41)
DD 10
DD 8
WW - The big D
"Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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