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The fact is I cant trust her can I? [/quote]
Are you seriously asking or is that a rhetorical question? You can definitely trust her to keep doing to you what she has been doing... I'm sorry but I just had to say something!
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Some people are not marriage matierial. Do I understand this correctly that you are still married? If that is the case then you need to go to counseling and figure out why you enjoy being abused by a woman like this for 5 years.
Your WW gets to go out with OM with no consequences and you stopped living your life. I know with kids it is tough but you also need to keep in mind what is being taught to your daughters. Are they learing that wives can treat their husbands like crap and men will put up with it? I don't know if that is the case but it is something that you need to think about.
You are a good decent guy that needs to get away from her. Please try and move on without her. Your standards are very low and you deserve much better.
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Ok, that just made my heart jump out of my chest!
Me BS (41) DD 10 DD 8 WW - The big D "Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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Lie2Me,
Document the behavior, and take legal action. You should look for supervised visitation only, I doubt you will get it but you can try. I'm not saying your WW would do something intentional but it would be easy to just leave the kids with her latest stud to go to the store or something.
Me 42 BS Wife 41 FWW (exwife now) Divorced 10/14/2008 S 21 D 18 D 16 S, S 13 (twins) Grandson 8 months
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My oldest daughter is not mine. I did adopt her though and love her more than life itself. My second daughter is mine, a little mini me. How old is your little girl? The risk that she will be sexually assaulted with your wife's revolving studs is astronomical. We have cases here of sexual predators who specifically targeted a WW so they could get to her DAUGHTERS. The only thing that prevented his success was a SAVVY father who intervened and got a court order for supervised visitation only.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The D has not happened. We have been seperated for just over five years.
And as for what my kids see, they don't see the truth. They have no idea how things ended up they way they did. I have a great fear of telling them what went on as they are bitter that I keep them away from Mom as much as I do.
Me BS (41) DD 10 DD 8 WW - The big D "Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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I have two girls, 10 and 8 years old.
Me BS (41) DD 10 DD 8 WW - The big D "Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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I am sure they hate me for the fact they don't see Mom enough as they are so differant when they come home from the time they do have with her.
I am sure they would rather be with her full time. I hope you will do everything to LIMIT time with their mother. She is clearly CORRUPT. My father was the same way. He was a serial cheater who took me to bars, racetracks, etc. He spent years teaching me that wrong was right and scr*wed me up terribly. I wish my mother had protected me from his corrupt influence.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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L2M,
Please, please man up on this one and take legal action. Melody and I hardly ever agree so please take the advice. You will never forgive yourself if something bad happens. You must err on the side of protecting the children. Melody is completely right that a WW with small daughters is a target for pedophiles.
Last edited by 6yearsleft; 03/14/09 12:17 PM.
Me 42 BS Wife 41 FWW (exwife now) Divorced 10/14/2008 S 21 D 18 D 16 S, S 13 (twins) Grandson 8 months
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I keep a record of everything that goes on.
The thought of her allowing something to happen to one of the kids is scarry.
Me BS (41) DD 10 DD 8 WW - The big D "Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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The D has not happened. We have been seperated for just over five years.
And as for what my kids see, they don't see the truth. They have no idea how things ended up they way they did. I have a great fear of telling them what went on as they are bitter that I keep them away from Mom as much as I do. They need to know the truth. Because if you don't tell them the truth and give them MORAL GUIDANCE, YOUR WIFE WILL. You leave them WIDE OPEN and VULNERABLE to her immoral teachings with your silence. My suggestion would be to do your best to get FULL custody with only supervised visitations. File on her on the grounds of adultery if you can in your state.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Then see a lawyer asap and involve CPS if he advises it.
Me 42 BS Wife 41 FWW (exwife now) Divorced 10/14/2008 S 21 D 18 D 16 S, S 13 (twins) Grandson 8 months
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Thank you for the advice. I guess it is time to do more.
I will not allow this to destroy my kids.
I will not allow her to destroy my kids.
Me BS (41) DD 10 DD 8 WW - The big D "Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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Good job man, from one father to another.
Me 42 BS Wife 41 FWW (exwife now) Divorced 10/14/2008 S 21 D 18 D 16 S, S 13 (twins) Grandson 8 months
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My state is a province. I live in Canada, and I dont know what the law says about that.
However I will find out first thing Monday and take matters into my own hands.
Me BS (41) DD 10 DD 8 WW - The big D "Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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Thanks for all the wisdom. I know what I need to do.
I will let you know what happens.
Me BS (41) DD 10 DD 8 WW - The big D "Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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Thank you for the advice. I guess it is time to do more.
I will not allow this to destroy my kids.
I will not allow her to destroy my kids. Good. You are ALL THEY HAVE, Lie2me. Your wife will not protect them. She is corrupt and will corrupt them too if she has a chance. They already SEE her adultery and are probably very morally confused. I was exposed to my fathers corruption and it SEEMED WRONG TO ME. But since no adult would ever validate that feeling of right and wrong, I grew up profoundly morally confused and learned to DOUBT MYSELF. Obviously, I was a stupid girl to think the things I did. Also, while your wife is dangerous to them now, she will REALLY BE dangerous to them when they are rebellious teenagers. My father was much more fun to be around than my "authoritarian" mother who made me do my homework and clean my room. My father had the much more powerful influence because he would take me bar hopping in Mexico and smoke pot with me. 6years, I finally agree with you on something! Will miracles never cease? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I understand that one, my WW is the fun one.
The kids tell me I am mean and we have too many rules here.
When they are with the WW, it's a party all the time for them.
My house is homework, chores, and I always thought fun, yet there is a differance between what I let them do and how she tries to be the best friend, not a Mom.
Me BS (41) DD 10 DD 8 WW - The big D "Don't say sorry, just don't do it again"
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L2M,
You asked "Why is WW back?"
The answer is simple.
She is selfish and wants what she wants, when she wants it.
She operates her life with the idea that she can use men to get what she needs, but quickly tires of them. She does not commit to them, because she is worried that somehow there is something better for her out there - which is a different man who will give her "more". That "more" involves more money, more things, more....more.
This is nothing personal, but take a look at her track record here. She had a longer connection to you because somehow you filled a need in her, and that was probably stability. It was not, however, filling a huge void in her that will likely never be filled - the void she is trying to fill by running around with many men without ever really making a full emotional connection.
While she has her fantasy to fulfill, you have the DDs. That's much more fulfilling than anything WW will ever connect with. And even though right now the DDs might complain about chores, or you not being the fun one, the truth is they ultimately will come to understand the foundation you gave them, and exactly what problems your WW has.
I'm not one to support divorce. In your case, I would say that I wouldn't wait for the ink to dry on the paperwork. It couldn't be fast enough for me.
Your WW is a serial cheater, who shows remorse only when it serves her purposes. She knows what she is doing is wrong, but does nothing to change the behavior. The other men are an addiction with her - the advice of a permanent Plan B is solid. I would make it legal. Plan D.
SB
Last edited by schoolbus; 03/14/09 05:36 PM. Reason: forgot a word...
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support. Recovered. Happy. Most recent D-day Fall 2005 Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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The D has not happened. We have been seperated for just over five years.
And as for what my kids see, they don't see the truth. They have no idea how things ended up they way they did. I have a great fear of telling them what went on as they are bitter that I keep them away from Mom as much as I do. It is beyond time that you tell your daughters the truth. If you read here, you'll know that the Harleys say you have to tell the kids about the affairs. If you don't, they blame themselves for why you split up and, worse, they believe that their mother looking like a tramp is acceptable, and they will do the same thing when they grow up! Parents HAVE to have this talk!
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