He just called (12pm) and asked why I didn't date our separation on the divorce application. I explained that he had to do it and I didn't care what date he put down.

He needs me to meet him at the chemist at 2pm to sign the papers and have them witnessed by a Justice of the Peace.

I did tell him we could go tomorrow but as I would have suggested we do it at the police station, he would have said I was manipulating him and would have been up to something.

He would be doing me a favour to go through with the application at this stage.

I'll go. Public place, one step closer to showing him that I am not scared of divorcing him and he is not going to control me through fear of divorce.

Still scared though!

Are you going to write down what he said and take it to the police?

Please do it before you meet him! You have no idea what he's up to.

Frankly, I would call him back and say you can't make it to the chemist but you can meet him at the city hall, or wherever the justice of the peace is. If he's suggesting a place, it's probably a setup.

And if I were you, I would ask a friend to conveniently be at the same place. Not with you, but near you, so they can record what happens with a video recorder. Borrow one, if you have to.

I'm serious!

btw, I read out loud the emails and phone call to my D18, who dated an abusive boy last year. She said it sounds exactly like what he used to say to her. Before she left him.

Thankfully I know it's the chemist across from where he works at a very busy shopping centre. I will not go in to his office first where there is a chance to be alone. He can meet me at the chemist and then I will leave in full view of the staff etc. It's next to a university and above a train station with security and cameras and so busy with traffic that nothing he could lie about will fly.

A friend from work is following me home so I can drop off my car for drinks tonight so he will be my aliby too.

Good news is I look fantastic after my spray tan and feel confident.

I will be ok.

I don't think he'll actually file, but he would be doing me a favour.

3 months and I might be divorced. Yikes. I didn't ever view my life with that possibility, but I am open to a life of happiness and genuine fearless love.

Ahhh!

Does that mean you're not going to report this warning to the police before you meet him?

Odds are, no. 2M2L, if not--

We're praying for you.

Ok, I'm back at work. Colleague was close by and I did the signing. No, I didn't get to the police first. I was busy at work and was pushing it to meet his time anyway.

All signed, but chemist said she doesn't know if she is qualified to sign a divorce application but she could call the hotline. WH said that she should just stamp it under other and he'd give it a go!

Then, he asked me what to do next. I said I thought he would have to file it at the courts but wasn't sure. He asked me if I would. I said no, this is your request, you need to file it, not me.

I will not give him the chance to hold that over me for life. Once we have literally been separated for 12 months I have no problems with it.

I said seeya. He called me back and told me that he knew what I was doing having the domestic abuse group on my facebook account. I told him not to assume everything is about him.

He said he needs the car tomorrow, I said no problem. We both walked different directions.

Done.

Before I left I checked his facebook message - he changed his status update to read "Finally me and my beautiful children will be at peace and I wont be at risk of being physically abused by what lies beneath the smile".

He also wrote a note to my exBoyfriend (from 1997-1999)"RAT. exB you f'ing loser. Who elses wife are you going to wine and dine over lunch whilst married? You know where I am, feel free to come visit me."

Then, just 30 minutes ago (at 2:50pm here Friday) "Tell me where exBoyfriend works or do I have to go around the back of <your work> and go by trial and error until I find him. I will find him when I get a second."

ExBoyfriend works in the building behind mine. He would be easy to find but I am not getting involved with WH and his power games. ExBoyfriend can look after himself and I know that any effort on my part to warn him will make me the guilty party to my WAH and cause even more problems for me. IF he even tries to find him.

Why can't he just file and leave me alone?

Didn't we tell you he'd do something like this?

You need to act quickly.

2M2L- you know why. He is an ABUSER! You are an ENABLER! Why do you think he keeps asking you to do the work filing the papers?

You keep talking to him. You keep letting him into your life.
You don't have boundaries. You didn't go to the police to document his threats. And he keeps threatening you because he is trying to get you to react. That's what he wants. To know he is in control.

Kill your facebook account because this gives him access to you.

You need to do everything you can to document what he is doing so that he doesn't have a chance to get the children. Please listen to what others have advised you to do. Your kids' future depends on it.

I've been down to the IT department and they gave me extra access again and he's blocked.

I checked his facebook and he also emailed exBoyfriend's sister and exBoyfriends other friend on facebook.

I wrote a status on Monday night of of "I need to let go and let God. So easy to say, so very hard to do."

Today, he commented to all and sundry at 12:44pm "exBoyfriend, you f'ing loser. Who else's wife are you going to wine and dine whilst married? You know where I am, feel free to come visit me. As of today I'm divorcing 2M2L so you have your shot for the 2nd time. You have to compete with MK though. Ding Dong, the wicked witch will be gone! Finally me and my beautiful children will be at peace and I wont be at risk of being physically abused by what lies beneath the smile".

To exBoyfriends sister "Your brother needs a serious talking to. He seems to be too busy trying to wine and dine another guy's wife. I would love to have a chat with him at his work. Would you know where he works?"

To exBoyfriends friend "Were you aware that exBoyfriend has been going on lunch dates with a married woman. Same thing happening to you?"

She replied "Who are you, I don't believe I know you." Then another "How do you know exBoyfriend?".

No replies from him yet, but it won't be pretty. I don't know who she is and for all I know, could be my exBoyfriend's current girlfriend.

I don't want to get involved and give WH the satisfaction of his FIX of control.

I don't have any threats to take to the police. Only what he told me on the phone and it's only heresay.

All his emails make it sound like I am the abuser and he the hapless victim trying to protect himself. If I go to the police, I am going to be set up.

I'm not at home tonight thank God but my sister is. I need to let him know I am not there so he leaves her alone, yes?

You have emails where he's trying to MAKE IT LOOK LIKE you are the abuser.

The police will know better than you who is and who is not the abuser.

The first person to talk USUALLY GETS THE "nod of approval" from the police. In other words, the person that accuses first, (especially if it's a woman) is usually believed.

No. Let her know about him and what he has been saying. He deserves nothing-no warning, no contact, nothing.

If he shows up and she calls the police, then he has to deal with someone who hasn't been manipulated by his abuse. He will have to deal with someone who can file charges against him that aren't "domestic" in nature. He can't weasel his way past her by doing the "same ole' same ole'" with her.

Your WH is not your friend. He is not someone you can "soothe" by making nice. You can't reason with him.

Warn your sister. Get off Facebook for now. Stop giving him ammunition.

Thanks JT. I have called her and told her to lock up but didn't try to scare her. She is not under his power by any stretch so should be a lot tougher than me.

I will not tell him anything. If he calls to speak with the kids I will call my sister and have them call him directly.

I am tyring to be strong!

Is this how Australians deal with domestic violence?

I can't figure out the logo at the end of this commercial but perhaps 2m2l you can!

THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WILL BELIEVE YOU! IT's the scariest thing in the world but you can do it!
Australian Domestic & Family Support

You are NOT CRAZY OR ALONE...they have heard your story thousands of times!

When I went I had a BOX of documention...it was my proof that I wasn't crazy! If you are anything like I was you keep the littlest thing but you never know when you're going to need it...you have enough proof...find the right resource...

2m2l, do you admit that you are getting a 'fix' by reading what he comments to everyone? That you NEED to be in the middle of his drama?

If you will NOT admit it, then prove it by closing your FB and never read another thing from him. You can always set up another one with a new name and give your family the new access.

PLEASE cut off this avenue of manipulation!

Do you believe that we all have experience with this and know what we're saying? That we know what his next steps are? That we know that the only way you'll get free of him is to STOP this dance you're in with him so that he gives up and goes on to a new woman?

If you believe us, then PLEASE follow our advice!

Make copies of everything you have from him, and take it to the police. If they don't do anything, fine! At least you have this material IN THEIR PROPERTY in preparation for what he does next.

And I want to point out the WORST thing.

He said:

You DO realize what this means, right? It means he is going to take your kids away from you. By whatever means possible.

That is why you need - TODAY - a lawyer, your evidence (even if it's just a transcript of his phone calls and emails) WITH the police, and get off your butt and do REAL research to find an organization that will help you.

I refuse to believe that in your entire country there is no group available to help you get free of that abuser. You asking us to believe it is an insult. It just means you made a phone call and gave up, so that you could tell us 'I tried. Oh well. I'll just have to do whatever he says. It's safer that way anyway.'

PLEASE PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM THIS MAN AND FOLLOW OUR ADVICE!

I hope you realize this does not necessarily mean by going after custody. It sounds more like the beginnings of a eulogy.

Please take some action here. Please stop crossing your fingers and hoping this will all just work out or go away or whatever. This man is unstable, manipulative, arrogant, vengeful and needs to be right. I am scared for your children that he will stop at nothing to make you pay.

2M2L, this was my first thought as well. Please have a plan to keep you and your kids away from WH ASAP -- he is getting desperate and escalating!

Ok T2L... this is really getting to be unbelievable (and yes I chose that word on purpose).

If this whole thing is true, then you DO NOT WANT help. You seem to be feeding off of the attention, his and ours.

Sorry, I'm just not buying it. Surely, you could have done SOMETHING by NOW, but I notice that you alway have an excuse and in the next breath, you talk about your tan :crosseyedcrazy: and having drinks with friends... lalala... No worries.

Something's off with this whole situation. It's getting to the point of ridiculous.

Princess-
I am with you there.
When I read this line:

WHO CARES HOW YOU LOOKED!!!
For crying out loud, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
I have said this before, and I will say it again. I am not sure that this is real. I think you might be making this stuff up for the attention. The man said "I have a way to really hurt you. it will be expenseive but it will hurt you bad" and then you sit next to him on the couch and eat chips?
And then he tells you again how much he hates you, so you meet him at the chemist to sign D papers and you are really really happy because you look great with your little spray on tan????!!!

My Ex is a sicko, and I have to tell you that I DO NOT CARE HOW GOOD I LOOK IF HE SEES ME. It doesn't matter. His sick opinion does not mean anything to me.

So once again I say, either you are making this crap up, or you are truly, truly sick.

If the stuff you are saying is true, you need serious help, right away. I don't want to hear any more of your lame excuses like
"sometimes he is nice" or "I want to be a happy family" or "I cant afford to get help"

You need SERIOUS help.No matter what.

If you are making this up - you are sick, and need help.

If this is all true - you are about to get killed by this man because just thinking about you makes him so angry he shakes.

And not only would he kill you - but he will kill your Ex BF. Some poor sap who hasn't even talked to in months. Your sicko H is planning to hunt him down and kill him. The messages to him, and his family, alone should be enough to make you run to the police. If you dont care about yourself - you should at least care about others.

this is all too stupid to be real.

Im out of here.

Exactly! Case in point. This morning we got a call that my 16 yr.-old nephew who lives with us was arrested at school. Why? Because he wrote a note to a girl he "likes" but has become obsessed with and he made "terriorist threats" (that's what they call it by the way) to do harm to another guy who likes her or to anyone in the school that got in his way. Arrested! Felony charges. The police did not hesitate to take him into custody. Now he's locked up until at least Monday when they have a juvenile hearing.

My point is that the authorities DO take these things very seriously. My nephew is an A+ student and has never been in any kind of legal trouble in his life.

How much more attention would they give to a grown man who consistently abuses his family and others, verbally or otherwise? That's why I'm beginning not to believe this story.