<BR>Hi Everyone!!!<P>Just an update since my Shark Lady Letter Thread!!!<P>I saw H Saturday briefly...he mentioned that his lawyer had left a message for him and he did not call back as of then....we all know that it was probably about the Shark Lady's letter and counseling.....he didn't yet and thankfully he didn't ask me about knowing anything!!!<P>He just thinks its because the D papers had a begin date of 10/26 and it has something to do with that.....<P>He probably knows differently by now....haven't heard from him, yet!!!!<P>I went today for my first session with the counselor that Shark Lady recommended...<P>Went OK, I guess....most of it was background, etc.<P>Got a few things in and he said that it didn't look good for H if he kept on the path he is on.<P>Said that the cops he works and hangs with are a bad lot and many troubles have come into their lives....apparently he works/knows quite a bit about his dept. <P>He said that with H's background and current life....it was very generous of me to be trying to keep in contact (yeah, for Sheba) although since he didn't know me well enough yet, it could be sadistic behavior on my part!!!<BR>(Booooo, for Sheba!!!!) LOL!!!<P>We are hoping that H will agree to counseling.....could happen!!<P>Even if it's just so he doesn't look bad.....whatever gets him there is fine with me!!!<P>Have another appointment on the 27th..<P>He told me to tell shark lady about my tubal...cuz that was my and H's agreement based on our continued relationship!! Said could get more money and such...<P>Whatever....I just want H to get help!!!!<P>I hate this!!! But it's a forward motion....I HOPE!!!!<P>Hugs and Thanks,<P>Sheba

Glad to know your session went okay. The first two times are alway the hardest until you feel more comfortable talking to the new conselor. I'm sure you will be hearing from H soon about the letter. Keep us posted and good luck. <P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Hey Sheba,<P>Sounds good for you. But I am sorry it's gotten to this point. That's yucky <P>I never, ever considered that (getting more money) about the tubal. I guess you learn something new every day!<P>Hugs <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Sheba -- Hang in there. I know this sucks, but you will get through this.<P>I will be praying for you.<P>God Bless

Sheba,<BR>Glad it went well. We of course feel you are a superior person, not sadistic. However, you do need to see yourself as a seperate person that is only accountable for your own actions, not in a position to be responsible for H.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Thanks....I feel a little better about this letter/counseling move by shark lady.....Like FHL said on that thread:<P>It's all the truth!!<P>SDS - thanks..I actually felt pretty comfortable with this counselor...I have gone to quite a few and couldn't seem to find one that I didn't need to show how to counsel!!!! If H agrees...I hope he will go to the same one.<P>NB - Thanks and I'm sorry it's this yucky, too!!! I wasn't really surprised by the tubal thing...just don't think like that!!! I can't seem to get the hang of this "use what you can to get what you can" stuff....<P>ES - Thanks for the encouragement and prayers....I could certainly use them!!<BR>And - yeah, this sure does suck!!! <P>FHL - Well, thank you very much!! I don't know about superior, but I do know that I haven't let the "evil" in all this mess enter my heart and head....<BR>I don't think that I feel responsible for him....I think it's more of the responsibility of my vows and knowing that he has no other "normal" contact.<P>I am being good and I know that I can't control his actions!!! Only mine!!<P>I can wish, hope and pray though...can't I?<P>Thanks Again Everyone!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Yes you can wish and hope and pray. Hey Sheba, did you ever look up that book Power of a Praying Wife by Stomie Omarian?<P>I think you would really like it and it would give some focus to those prayers.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Hi FHL -<P>They didn't have it at the bookstore <BR>when I went over the weekend....It's on <BR>order, though.....<P>I was just straightening up here at home <BR>and it just hit me exactly how many <BR>books I have on relationships!!! Need a <BR>new bookshelf just for them...LOL!!!<P>You know I forgot to mention when I <BR>wrote this thread that the counselor <BR>told me that my H's statement of wanting <BR>me with him in 10,20 or 30 years - was <BR>something that he absolutely means!!!!<P>He thinks that that is why he's got that <BR>armhole in his "wall" so that he can <BR>grab a hold of my heart just to know <BR>that I am still with him....<P>Isn't that nice!!!! This is going to be <BR>hell.....I am (after all this) probably <BR>going to have to be the one to cut off <BR>his arm, so to speak.....<P>I don't know if I can do that!!<P>I do know that I don't want to do <BR>that..but will have to be able to live <BR>my life too!! AARRRGGGHHHH!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Your counselor said that based on your talk. She hasn't talked to him, yet, right?<P>However that makes perfect sense in a warped sort of way. Go for the gusto now, then have this best friend, wonderful person there forever.<P>Hey, I've never done an amputation, but there's always a first! Just kidding, it's gotta be you.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Hey, Sheba.<P>You're doing so good!<P>This is not fun, I know. Sorry it had to go this way. What a fool that man is!!!<P>Sending you lots of extra hugs today. (Sorry, I'm wallowing, sharing hugs sounds good to me!!!!) <P>Hang in there, you'll be just fine.<P>Lori

Hi Sheba,<BR>Just checking up on you. I use you and your story to talk to my H. Seems easier to understand a strangers delimma than our own. We are doing well.........holding my breath. We had sort of an impasse and things are better. (H just walked into the room, looked over my shoulder and said, "Tell Sheba I said hi." ) I am afraid to let down my guard but today I went out and got him an old cd of Carley Simons. It used to be our song........"Nobody Does It Better". I had it on the table at lunch time. He called me at my moms as soon as he got home and played it for me over the phone. Sounds better huh? I hope so, I seem to be running out of steam.........old you know. Sounds like your councilor may help. I was thinking about your H. I really think he plans to live life with you at some point. I just find it hard to take that he expects that you will always be there. Is that how you view it or am I crazy........well we know I'm crazy but........<BR>Hugs Sheba, not a day goes by that I don't think of you and say prayers for you.<BR>Love, Karen<P>------------------<BR>alleyoop<BR>

(((hugs))) <BR>

Thanks All -<P>FHL - Yes, He had asked me what my biggest concerns were at the moment and I told of H's Whack-A-Doodling and parents and such and he seemed to think that I was correct in that it looked like he wanted me to be around forever.<P>This has been the scenario that has been bugging me for a long time.....<P>I would much prefer it if YOU WOULD do the amputating for me!!!!! I don't have that kind of strength....<P>Lostva - Thanks for the encouragement and hugs.....Your mess is going so much better than mine!!! You and your H will be OK - I just know it!!!!<P>Alleyoop - Well, there you are!!! I have been waiting for you to EMail me!<BR>You're right, it's much easier to see other people's situations than our own!!<BR>That's so nice about the song (I love that song, by the way!!) I do think that my H feels that I will be around whenever he gets done being a post teenager again!! So, no - you are not crazy - I am getting there, however!!! LOL!!!<BR>Tell your H that I said "Hi" back and that I am making a thread that he will be able to relate too!!! It's about how a relationship is like a car!!! LOL!!<BR>You two are doing great and I am very happy!!!! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.....you're in mine too!!<P>CL - Thanks for the Hugs!!!! They help!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba<P><BR>

Hi Sheba,<BR>My e-mail address is byteme2@net66.com<BR>Write me and let me know how you are. I know I would have been much worse off were it not for your love and support. I hope you have a happy ending soon. Hugs, Karen<P>------------------<BR>alleyoop<BR>