For one my WW is pregnant with OM's child. She uses his last name in everything that she can, even though I haven't even had the chance to send back the divorce papers she sent. One of the stupidest things I saw was the ACU's I bought her for a squadron event that used to have my last name on it. She unvelcroed that one and stuck his last name on it, took a picture, and posted it on her myspace. She say's she is his wifey. It's like I never existed. Every picture of her and me was cut out in one day. I watched as it was deleted. She said that if I didn't lift the separation order on him she would commit suicide or drink until she died. As soon as I caved, the next day she said if I didn't get out of the house she would call the police and say I hit her. She said I could have the laptop back if I fixed it, as soon as I fixed it, she said she needed to delete some photos of us on it. She boxed up the desktop computer and then kept the laptop in her room saying that if I went in there she would call the police for harassment. When I figure out the OM slept with her while I was sleeping in seperate beds in the same house, I was kicked out of the house, so she could continue to sneak OM inside the house for sleep overs. When that didn't work, she decided it was best to move to a friend's house where she couldn't be watched.
Yeah did I mention that she gave a sex book I bought to improve our love life to OM, I guess to equalize the competition when there shouldn't of been any. Right now OM is on leave probably having a nice honeymoon with the papers not even filed yet. Meanwhile WW put out a separation order on me I guess for ultimate revenge on me for getting him kicked out of the battalion.
I really loved that woman and she seemed to provide me with unbridled support and love. At least until the OM came in and started talking to her. I guess if I knew about women as much I did then, none of this would of happened. I was just too inexperienced in the first place. She seemed to know everything that made a relationship work, I knew absolutely nothing because she was my first love. Most of the time I believe there is some hope, I pray everyday for her family and her protection. However, I do believe that most of this hope and anger is irrational. I mean seriously she told me that I could sleep with someone else while we were still married. She told me (I know this was from the OM) that emotionless sex with somebody else is alright with someone else when you are married.
I wrote this post before, I just have a hard time letting go. I believed that marriage was forever and made a covenant with her to love her until my heart stopped beating. Now how can I do that now when she thinks OM is everything. That she will always be faithful to OM. That he knows her more (obviously this has to be sexually as well as emotionally). Really OM is a psychopath that just regurgitated what she said she liked back to her. He repeated the words I spoke about her verbatim as if it was his own words. This is just freaking spectacular!

I tried to get her back, talking about how much I loved her to everyone after the affair. Sent her flowers, talked to her, tried to make her feel good (all the while she was treating me like a dog, emasculating me, punching me in the face and name calling) Reading the other stories you posted, I realize that there is no real reason for me to stay (not my choice really lol). We were only married for a total of 1 year before she freaked out and decided to get drunk at a bar and sleep with OM.

The funny thing is she was totally honest with me until she realized that I didn't understand what "one night stand" with OM meant. If I would of understood what that meant and wasn't so naive I would of been able to cut this guy out of her life permanently before she got pregnant. After she realized I didn't understand she covered everything up with lies. This is what she did in reality, but it was more along the lines of her trying to get me to do something about it, but at the same time me not understanding what was up from inexperience. I look at what my wife did as almost comical in her rationalization of the betrayal, but I look at what OM did with some seriously real hatred, jealousy and righteous indignation.

I never really knew what love was like, until she came into my life. Never had someone actually want to trim my nails, pop my pimples and trim my nose hairs for me. Someone that had my clothes ready to go for the next day, did my laundry, and kept the house clean while I was gone. Wow she was an awesome wife. She was easy to love, but always seemed to get in fights with me for no reason. Now I understand that I didn't understand women at all. I loved her but the way I loved her was wrong. I said a bunch of insensitive things being raised by wolves (er homeschooled with my bros as my best friends). I just wish I knew what it was like to have a girlfriend before I actually married.

YIKES! I hope you have some legal help to protect yourself from her. SHE sounds like she has some issues.

It hurts, but you deserve someone who will treat you much better. So sorry this is happening to you.

You are so well rid of her. She is a cheating skank. Just wait a year or two. She will call you. She will tell you that he is f-ing someone and want to get together to just talk to you. When she does you can meet her. You can meet her and listen to her whine. Then you can get up and leave, thanking your luck stars that she dumped you. When does the POSOM get deployed again? Oh did you know that there will be 25,000 to 30,000 involuntary separations over the next few months to a year? This scumbag will be the first to go.

RUN, and thank your lucky stars that you only lost one year to that psycho of a WW.

And if you're thinking of revenge against the OM, remember this old saying: "The best revenge you can take against a man who steals your W is to let him keep her."

Move on, and never speak to her again if possible. She is SO not worth the effort.

POSOM is deployed now with me in Iraq but on a separate base.
We recieved our rounds the day after they transferred him. It's good because I had to endure OM staring at me across the way. Did I mention he was formerly my squad leader?
How he got away with it? He came back from NTC on leave before my Sargeant Major, the First Sargeant and I came back and immediately went after my wife. It was reported from a neighbor across the way that they talked for 30 mins before going into my house until midnight. She said she saw WW and OM jump into his truck and leave with WW hair all messed up (it was done nicely before he went inside the house).
Came back from NTC and noticed unexplained bruises on her hip and on her arm (it looked like OM grabbed her from behind). Went on leave, tried to win her back. OM (didn't know it at the time. I was so naive.) called her almost everytime my WW and I were getting into a good conversation. OM talked to her all night outside of the hotel we were staying in our car on the cell phone. She absolutely hated me the entire time saying that we were not together to everyone that wanted to take our picture on the cruise. Was shutdown cold when she came back with happy puppy dog eyes everytime she came back from the car.
BTW we made love almost every single day, sometimes twice a day until OM got in between us.
She said she wanted to separate that she wanted some space and wanted to go camping alone to take pictures. Called her bluff, but she threatened to call the police if I didn't let her go. OM scheduled a camping trip with WW while I was on leave making my leave absolutely miserable. Could not find the first sargeant or the sargeant major because they were both on leave. My friends were all on leave I had no one to help me follow her in the car. I had no car for two days alone in my house. Rode my bike to see if OM's truck was there, it was of course gone until she came back from the affair trip. All I could do was trip out, praying out loud, pacing back and forth, to sick in the heart to watch TV or play any video games.

Can't edit my post, sorry for the run on sentence.

Sorry you are hurting but it's easy to blame POSOM...he's a POS. That doesn't mean your WW isn't a POS or psycho as well. Don't get lost in the fog yourself. Let them have each other...they will be miserable soon enough. Cut your losses now and be happy you won't be tied to this woman forever through children. She sounds like a nut.

WW could have borderline personality disorder, because of unexplained scars she won't admit she did on her own up and down both arms and legs. Cat scratches don't scar for two years; she thinks I am stupid.
OM could be a psychopath. He treated everyone in my squad with contempt. Pathologically lied. Told one of my platoon mates that lying is some sort of higher intelligence. Was probably the one who told WW that emotionless sex was alright when you are married to someone else, because I over heard him say that married women should be able to have sex with whoever they want. Took my shovel out of my rucksack without even asking me or telling me. The only way I found out that it was lost in the snow was because I found it missing in my rucksack.

So WW maybe off in the head, but she saved my life from having a terrible squadleader. After I said I would patch him up if he got hit so he could get back to his parents, she said, "Really? He said he would let you bleed out if you got hit."

Please tell me you reported him to his Command!!!

Yes, I reported it to the chain of command and told them she straight up admitted to it. They said unless they had photographic evidence they could do nothing. They said they would initiate a separation order and begin an investigation; however, it was already too late. My wife was already pregnant. The chain of command interrogated him screaming at him, but of course, he lied through his teeth. He had a separation order on him already with my first sargeant, he blatantly violated it, but again I have no proof. Everything they did was when my troop was working and his wasn't.
After they heard a tape recording about her desire to marry him, they got disgusted and sent him out of the battalion. My WW was head of our FRG group and was part of the careteam. All of which she quit after I exposed the affair. Tried to sweep it under the rug, only my superiors knew, but I believe the OM spread rumors to his friends who told thier wives. He lied to her that I was spreading rumors and that everyone knew. I think what actually happened was he spread the rumors himself and then pinned it on me. There is no other way I can put it that one of the wives knew my WW had sex with the OM before I did. The OM was friends with the husband of that wife. I didn't tell the husband of that wife anything because I didn't trust him.

Not only that, she had many awards from the FRG for supporting many of the events. It was just embarrasing because she was well known.

Err if I could edit my posts. Also everyone knew her and for the most part was proud of her until this happened.

Subterfuge,

Do something for me. Get some counseling with the chaplain or something. You are very naive and you are very vulnerable. Neither is a good situation especially if you are deployed. I would also recommend that you see the Judge Advocate on your base/post and discuss what options you have with regard to benefits, insurance, and certainly divorce. Even the Bible says that marriage is NOT FOREVER, IF the spouse commits adultery or is of a hard heart. She is both.

Further, she is carrying OM's child, DNA will prove it and you may well be able to sue him and certainly have him thrown out of the military. Speaking as a veteran, the military does not need men of his caliber.

Please do these things.

God Bless,

JL