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I'm so sorry, but I'm really glad that you've taken this step, for your own peace of mind. You can always get back together if things work out.

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I am sorry it has resulted in this. However your WW CHOOSE this path without any regard to you or the children.

I do feel your reasoning is clear and correct.

If your WIFE appears one day you can then consider YOUR options at that time.

Please take care during this difficult time.



Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

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You know I'm with you in spirit.

My sadness is that if WW gives up to return to you after marrying OM, then biblical marriage to her is not possible.

You have endured so long -


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Originally Posted by aussieswife
I am sorry it has resulted in this. However your WW CHOOSE this path without any regard to you or the children.

I do feel your reasoning is clear and correct.

If your WIFE appears one day you can then consider YOUR options at that time.

Please take care during this difficult time.

I am taking care - going to the Pocono's next week to party with some friends from work. Then, next month I'm going to Pittsburgh for an old friend's bachelor party. It will be nice to get out of town!


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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I'm sorry to hear about this... and I know it wasn't what you wanted... but right now, it's for the best.

Have a good time in the Poconos... and stay on top of things re: your kids... they need a parent in their lives.

All the best,


Me: 41, INFP
Her: 46, ESFJ
Married 6/95
B-G Twins
4 yrs recovered from serious neglect on my part.
So happy together!
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I agree - the divorce is for the best. As for her health insurance, the money she's using to support OM is more than enough to cover her COBRA payments. It's not my issue that she has a third dependent to support. grin


Me BH 49 WXW 50
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DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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You are absolutely right, PSUB. Your stbxWW is definitely a piece of work.

I do want to provide you with a small warning, however. Though you will be in no way responsible for her life or lifestyle after divorce, your children are still going to be exposed to it at some level. I know of one x-couple where the mother has flea-infested cats and often has her electricity and phone cut off and the father, though he has a good custody arrangement, is horrified to send his daughter back at times. It's not even a matter of giving her more money - she just throws it away on junk food and crap. He would have to literally take over her expenses and essentially start looking after her as if he were legally responsible. It's a very nasty situation, especially for the little girl.

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Has she responded to the divorce papers yet?


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Originally Posted by imagine
Has she responded to the divorce papers yet?

There's no "response" to the divorce papers. I had filed back in September and she responded to that. What I filed last week was to proceed with issuing the decree without a hearing in front of a judge. We had met all of the requirements for divorce and were separated for 6 months. So, in two weeks I will officially be divorced.


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
There's no "response" to the divorce papers. I had filed back in September and she responded to that. What I filed last week was to proceed with issuing the decree without a hearing in front of a judge. We had met all of the requirements for divorce and were separated for 6 months. So, in two weeks I will officially be divorced.

Thanks! I guess I'm learning how its done over there.


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Wanted to check and see how you were doing Psubiker.

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Hi all,

Here are a few updates. As of 3/19, I am officially divorced. As for POSOM, his ex needs to initiate an action against him to get him arrested. That's what I hate about the CS laws - it pays to be a deadbeat because when you get down to it, the laws don't have the teeth to deter deadbeats.

exWW is HOT that I filed the Rule to Show Cause. Now she's telling everyone who would listen that I'm trying to take the kids away from her. I told her I'm not the one who moved. She also said that she will be a SAHM now and refile the child support and file for alimony and live off alimony and CS. Riiiiggggghhhtt. I guess she thinks the courts will give her the kids because of that. She threatened to file a motion to modify custody. I told her to go ahead.

Once she files the motion to modify custody, an injunction goes into place for the two of us preventing either one of us from taking the kids to live out of state. Since she lives out of state, she would be filing a motion with the courts to take the kids away from herself!


Me BH 49 WXW 50
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DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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In addition...if the divorce is already complete...how could she "refile" for alimony?? Child support is modifiable but alimony?

Hasn't that ship sailed?

Mr. Wondering


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Has WW had to give up all of her horses?

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Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
Once she files the motion to modify custody, an injunction goes into place for the two of us preventing either one of us from taking the kids to live out of state. Since she lives out of state, she would be filing a motion with the courts to take the kids away from herself!

She's not too bright, your XW.

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Originally Posted by MrWondering
In addition...if the divorce is already complete...how could she "refile" for alimony?? Child support is modifiable but alimony?

Hasn't that ship sailed?

Mr. Wondering

My A and I prepared our answer to the petition. She stands a very slim chance of getting it - she has a lot going against her.

1. She never asked the court for Alimony when she answered my divorce petition

2. She is cohabitating

3. House is sold, proceeds disbursed. Both of us are on our own when it comes to expenses now

4. Already providing her child support + paying for half of daycare expenses


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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So she DID refile then????

I thought it was just a threat.

Mr. W


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Don't assume anything. The house is sold and she has moved. They may not wish to alter things for your kids, unless you're arguing in favor of keeping them in the same schools.

She's done this to herself. Remind her of that when she gets into her rants.

Not that's she'll listen.....

Sorry about the POSOM. It's been tough to get much done even on my end. My friend says that the system is very slow to respond.

Have you talked to POSOM's ex?

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If I were you, I'd tell POSOW's ex that you'd be willing to testify in her defense, if she were to go through with filing against him. That might give her some impetus.

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Originally Posted by baron_richtofen
Be careful that she doesn't say that now that she's unemployed that she's going to stay at home and can watch the kids full time.

Does she have a degree?

Choosing not to work falls under "voluntary impoverishment" and can work against her.

Good call Baron! I saw this post a few weeks back. She is talking about being a SAHM and living off my child support and hopes for alimony. She does have a college degree and was a medical device and drug rep prior to kids. Plus, while she was a SAHM, I had paid off about half of her student loans.


Me BH 49 WXW 50
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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