I don't know how to fix this if i can i have been married for seven years and have a 2 year old. For years now i have been emotionally abusive to my wife i never meant to be but i never realized what i was doing would harm her. As we were living together she would write notes and leave them around the house i would find them and try and fix what ever problems she had with our relationship. It became an addiction for me i started getting in to her email and trying to figure it out rather then talk with her . It didn't help much that she will not talk to me. She figured it out last year when she said she was communicating with a guy from work in a sexual nature. She says nothing was going on and that it was just a set up so she could know for sure that i was snooping. But some online posts contradict what she told me and i can't get that out of my head. She now is very defensive when i ask her what she is doing on the computer and in the past few day she will barley talk to me. I just want to be able to know what is going on in her head but she won't let me in. I have since stopped snooping on her but i don't think i can repair what has been lost im afraid that she is going to leave me. I have sent her a few email stating my concerns and i have yet to hear from her i just hope she comes home tonight. If any one has any input for me i need it i am driving my self crazy worrying about this and i have no one to talk to about this

Hi needhelp10-

Welcome to MB. I don't really have much advice for you right now, but I would encourage you to post this on the General Questions II forum. There's more traffic on it, and lots of vets who can give you advice.

First, read the information on the side on the "Most Popular Link" starting with Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts and Love Busters.
Also, make sure you go to "Just Found Out" to find out about all the acronyms that are used here.

I will tell you that you will hear the truth from folks here, sometimes very blunt truths. We refer to them as 2x4's. Please know that these are meant to help you, not to slam you.

Once again-welcome to MB.

Need help,
I think it is good that you admit to being emotionally abusive here, but have you shared that with her? Has she ever heard this from you? It may help, my husband was verbally abusive but till this day will not admit it.

It is very hard to work thing out when you feel like you are the only one that needs working on. Are you guilting her or talking to her about what you are feeling? Do you ask her what she is feeling or ask her what she is 'doing'?

I wish you the best of luck