In recovery I know there is an anger stage where the BS feels everything come crashing down and the bad things seem overwhelming. My H is going through this stage right now dealing with my A, and I think its due in part the the OW he is currently talking to.

I know this is a more complicated situation since he is in an EA at the least right now, but my question is how long does the anger last? I know if he stops talking to her that that will speed up the process, but under normal circumstances does anyone have a timeline of sorts.

Its been 2 months since H told me he was unhappy and wanted to separate. Since then I have seen him pull away and seen alot of anger towards me. I am just realizing that its anger from my A mainly, not me questioning his "friendship".

I know he doesnt see what he is doing is wrong. He thinks that since he told me he wanted to separate that it makes things all better. But at the same time he is hiding what is really going on. I know they talk some about what I did, but mainly its just about them, nothing to do with me.

So his anger does have some to do with what she says, but its mainly me. Thankfully he doesnt show the anger directly to me, but it is there in the little things he says/does. We just had a baby a week ago and when he comes by he is very loving to her, but pulling away from me more.

What can I do to help him, if anything? How long does the anger last? How can he be angry at me and still want to come spend time with the baby? And for that matter what can I do to make him more comfortable here so he can spend more time with the baby?

Plan A is working to a degree, but he still pulls away.

It's been six years of anger and frustration for me towards my WW. Most of the anger has come from false recovery after false recovery, the hurt and pain of my kids.

If your A is done, thats a great step, if your H is in an PA/EA then before any anger stops he must stop his EA/PA.

Honest open talking with full disclosure on both sides is the only way to deal with anything.

I dont think you can find a timeline. It ends when all parties want it to end and move on, however that may be.

I am there too over the littlest of things. I will be ok for a couple of days and then just blow up over something minor. I get overwhelmed by it. What are productive ways to deal with this? I get so angry that I shake all over.

PSC,

You are not only dealing with the anger from your A, which by the way, normally occurs about 6 months into R, you are dealing with your WH villifying you. WS do this to justify their own actions. Again he is putting all of his bad behavior on you.

This is so convoluted. You really are going to have to expose his A. I know you feel alot of the blame, but you don't have a chance until he stops his A. So who knows about this A?

Just for the record while my FWH was in his A, I felt so much anger from him, I didn't know who he was anymore. And there was no good reason for him to be mad at me. It's just the wayward way.

The affair is over. It ended 2/2. N/C has not been broken as far as I can tell. I have exposed to EVERYBODY that will stand still long enough to listen. Last night was the last set of people that didn't know. He is angry because I have embarassed him but the affair is over. I am certain. I check and watch everything. Recorder in car, phone sim card recovery program, weblogger on computer, gps on phone, and NO unaccounted time. Breakfast, lunch and dinner at home with me. All spare time with me and traceable with gps on phone that I randomly call and he answers (to make sure it hasn't been ditched). I even show up randomly at work and go to the gym with him. When he got a haircut, I went and made sure that he was actually at the barber shop.

All of his friends/family knows what is going on. No one agrees with it, but no one wants to get involved. His best friend tried to talk to him about it and he quit talking to him for a while. He gets angry at anyone who mentions it.

His dad just got in town today (he works out of town for months at a time). FIL is very angry and upset at what H is doing to me and will probably be the one to say something.

What about on OW's side? Who knows? Who could you inform? Her family?

Im not sure how to get in touch with her family. She lives in another state and all I have is her name and cell number to go on.