I am talking about myself, LOL! I was exploring the new options on the board and updating my signature line. BTW, you can post video links now! Very cool! Anyway, one feature that didn't work quite right on the previous version was the "buddy" list. I had set mine up back in the early days so I could watch my friends and enemies.
Soooo, back in January 2006 a poster came on saying she was an OW and wanted to "help" us BS's. Yeah right, turned out she was looking for her MM's BW specifically. Except for a couple minor differences in the story, I was nearly 100 percent certain she was "my" OW. In fact, several people I knew on the board emailed me and asked me if it was her. Well I was looking at my buddy list and there she was, the OW screen name.
What makes me a maroon? I went back and read all those posts! I am thankful my H was gone for a part of the evening yesterday cuz when he got home I could barely look at him. It brought back all those feelings of "how could he" and "why did this continue so long" and "did she really believe all those lies?" and "why did I stick around for that crap?".
I never mentioned it to him. I just enjoyed the time he was out of the house and when he came home he got busy doing a project for my DS's room. By the end of the evening I was fine and grateful to still have him in my life. I need to remind myself not to "go there" any more.
The only real good thing to come out of this was perspective. I did't have perspective then, only the blinders of pain. Now I can look back and see how ridiculous she was, how stupid he was and stuff I wish I had said to her. I did ask her once exactly how many stolemeats can a person have cuz he told OW #1 she was his stolemeat and then of course OW#2 was too! I should have asked her if he had been pining away for her for all those years he was with me, why was he ready to run off with OW#1? Was it not possible this issue was in HIM, not me or our marriage?
For anyone currently trying to recover with an active wayward spouse, short stellar plan A and then plan B! I so regret not going into plan B when I was advised to do so.
