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Hi, I'm replying to the first reply I had gotten. My husband didn't go to the club because the woman singer I'm accusing him of being infatuated with called it off until husband can get his marriage situated.
Well, theres new news and I had gotten an email from someone stating the woman singer in his band had fell in love with my husband and had been seen with her hands all over him and thats why my husband had been ignoring me and had left me for a week now and he hasn't called me nor has he came back.
Well, I called the woman singer up and read this email to her and she instantly got upset and said I'm not messing with your husband and told me not to call her again, but before I hung up I told her to quit the band then if your not messing with my husband and she told me she would do what she wants..."I told her fine then, but leave your hands off my husband!"
My husband must have went to the singers home after this confersation and the woman singer must had got into an argument with my husband because my husband went back to the home he was staying at after leaving me and said something happened and I quit the band and my husband took his things and left where he was staying...now I don't know where he's at and we been married 35 years coming this April and this is why I'm trying to save it but I guess I can't make someone luv me! The thing is my husband showed no signs of unhappiness except for a little distance here and there going to the bedroom and playing a hand held game and/or listening to music when he was at home.
He told me the other day on the phone that he hasn't been happy for awhile and that his heart isn't in to it. Husband is 55 this May,6th and I swear he's going through a mid life crisis.
Husband sure could have fooled me about not having his heart in to it because he went with me in Febuary this last month and laid away a new coutch outfit not to mention he kissed me on the forehead goodbye when he left Friday before last to go to a 45 mile away trip (with his buddie and the singer woman). Why would a 55 year old man stay with you for 35 years, tell you he loves you while sitting at the computer playing a game and kiss you goodbye when leaving but leaves you a week after that? This has me livid and confused because he dropped a bomb on me and I didn't know what hit me!
He had been distanting him self a lot lately and he's taking a medicine for Neuropothy in his feet that has a side effect of "not thinking straight" and "being confused" and I feel this is what he is going through and/or "mid life crisis."
If he hasn't got his heart into it and hasn't been happy for a long time he sure fooled me! Does anyone know an answer to what may be happening...I do want to save this 35 year marriage but I also don't want him coming back if he doesn't want me and he told me he's felt sorry for me and stayed with me in the past and I can't take anymore head games, so I'm in between a rock and a hard place not knowing how to handle this nor what to think.
I wanted to commit suiside because I can't work nor do I have medical insurance and I'm 51 years old with Ulcerative Colitis, Aneimia, Arthritis in my lower back, and my feet aches really really bad if I'm on them very long which I think could be Neuropothy or Arthritis. I've been in the hospital a couple of times getting blood pumped in to me because my Hemoglobin goes down to a 6 more often than I want it to. I can't go see a doctor because I don't have insurance but my husband has Medicare because he's diabled!
I called a Lawyer to be prepared as to what I may be facing and she said since I have 35 years into the marriage that I would possibly get his Pention check but I can't get his disability! I'm just scared of what he may be going to put me through. He has not called me nor been back since he left! Sorry this is so long...Please give me advice if you can...thank you all!

What?

This is your first post, isn't it?

cudabap,
I'm sorry you find yourself here, but there are some veterans on MB who can help your sort things out. Thirty-five years cannot just be thrown out so quickly. Do you love this man despite what he has done? Is your only concern how you will get by financially, or do you need him in your life? Take a deep breath and try to find an answer to this basic question.

Three and a half months ago, I found my 41-year marriage rocked with the infidelity also. I was hurt, angry, devastated--but I knew that I could not live without the man who had just hurt me so. We are on the road to recovery and are reconnecting in ways that I did not realize we had distanced ourselves from. This road to recovery is hellacious, but we realize now that we are nothing without each other.

God bless you. I hope you find your way through what one veteran told me is as bad as rape or the death of a child.