Yup.

I've seen women who ACT like they whore themselves out - dress inappropriately, etc., but I don't know if they actually DO or not. I still thought they were sleazy. They acted like they had no self-respect.

Ladies - I'm talking about really sleazy, not just having an affair or being the OW, but sleazy as in someone a man wouldn't introduce to his family, his friends, a woman who is whorish, a tramp, someone that a man wouldn't want to raise his children...........

What is the question again? WHY do some men pick sleazy women to have affairs with??? From your first post I am not sure what the question is...

The question is why do some men prefer very sleazy women, even though they have a good wife.

Ohhhh...I see. My guess would be that they are like the women who choose the "bad boy" over a "nice" guy.

And IMHO, I think immaturity has a lot to do with choosing a sleazy woman/bad boy...

I think it's the thrill of it for the men. I use my WW as my example.

Her latest fling was as they all are with her about sex, she feels good when she is wanted, for her latest partner, for him it was a woman who would do it in his car, a woman who had no boundries, I read an email she sent him describing in great detail a group sex experiance she had, it was his big fantasy. She was willing to do anything at anytime to please.

At the end of the day he went back to his W, she never met his kids, yet she did meet his mother and it ended right after that.

I can count six men with whom this has happened with her.

She is so willing to do anything to please that eventually the men find their boundries so pushed they would not want her around friends or family, yet it is a big thrill for the first few weeks.

And I mean she will do anything anywhere for the men, just to feel wanted.

She has no selfastem

It's all about the sex. Men don't want to be married to "sleazy" women. They don't make good wives.

My WH once said he couldn't be married to OP becasue she was too "wild." We'll see. He can't seem to get away from her....

The only time my H broke Plan B was to tell me that he would NEVER marry the OW, even if I decided not to take him back...he would never introduce her to his family or our children...because he knew they would never "accept" her for the tramp that she is.

That didn't stop him from the actual A...but it DID stop him from thinking of her as marriage material.

Some men never get to this point, I guess...not sure why that is...I still attribute it to immaturity.

No men don't want to be married to sleazy women.

Yet the rush they get when they meet a woman who is willing to fufill all his dreams, and thats what they are, it can be hard for them to resist. It's the my W would never do this, wow factor.

However, at some point and I have many examples of this, the sleazy woman will push the boundries so far many men will sit back and wonder what they have gotten into.

Thats it for my WW, she does it to all her OM.

At some point the edge, the thrill, the wow factor is replaced by the my god, I can;t be around this woman, I can't have a relationship with her, she could never meet my kids or family.

I would think that if a man takes up with a sleazy woman that he knows she won't say no and thinks he can just walk away after getting some strange because she'll be all over the next guy soon enough.

This is our situation. I'm the Madonna and OW is the whore. WH said we are polar opposites of each other. I'm the church-going soccer mom. She's the 10-years younger, bar hopping, twice divorced, mom of 3 biracial kids from two different daddies.

I believe in marriage for life...she believes that relationships are disposible.

As for the sleaze factor -- I've been with one man -- my WH. She's been with many. She has toys and gadgets and dresses the part and is not afraid to flaunt it (and I have the topless photo to prove it). WH called her "passionate." She's actually desperate, psychotic and crazy.

She started the A with WH knowing full-well that he was married with kids. She let him move in with her and her kids. He will not introduce her to our kids or his parents. Never. In-laws have made it clear that they will never allow her in their home. And God help OW if in-laws see the two of them in public. MIL will probably end up in jail on assault charges.

So do I agree with the theory about A partners? Yes. WH found someone the opposite of me. He knew I would continue to be a great mom to our kids while he "plays" out his fantasy of being a rock star with the bleached blond centerfold.

I think the MLC bus hit him hard and he's balls out to live out his repressed fantasies.

The only problem is that he doesn't have the money to afford this!

Believer,

Wow responding to this post realy hit me hard when I was done.

I went through all my history with my WW and fact of it is, she is sleazy, and I married her, yet not for the reasons I listed here. Or at least I dont think so, ya know I have no idea why, I mean I ended up with two amazing DD's, that part is great, yet as why I would marry someone like that I am now more confused than ever.

I feel its because the man who gets involved with this type of woman can treat the woman just as they feel without repercussion.. do whatever ... say whatever ... basically can treat the woman like [censored] with no guilt for their actions with the woman or women involved.. no need to provide respect or care just use them as they feel like it.

I think it's more about having control than the sex by itself.

aussieswife,

that was not it for me. I tried to make a life with my WW.

I was not looking for someone I could treat anyway I wanted without repercussions. I didn't want control. I didn't treat her like s**t. I had respect for her.

There is a somewhat new series called "The Big Bang Theory."

In one episode a guy asks his friends why they hate his new girlfriend so much.

They're like "Dude, if we tell you it'll ruin things for you!"

He was not aware she talked so much until he was TOLD. It was like this:

Guy: She talks too much!

Guy2: -glass.shatter-noise- Oh my g-d you're right.

Maybe this is the case, you like someone so much, you don't notice their faults.

L2 .. you choose a woman you thought would give up her single life (sleazy or not at that time)....
that your ww chose to become sleazy is NOT YOUR FAULT

... she choose this path of sleaziness.,,, she can choose not to follow it as well.

what I think is meant here on this subject is where you KNOWINGLY engage in a relationship with a sleaze... a person who has chosen to be what she is for a life style... and there is no thought about saving her or encouraging/helping her to change .. I don't think that was you was it? You were deceived.

I'm curious about the how someone would be sleazy depending on how they act after d-day.

I had no idea what I was getting into.

Perhaps I should have been smart enough to see it though.

My FWHs FOW was what i call the definition of a sleazy woman. A woman that uses her body and/or sex to get what she wants regardless of who or what gets in the way.

She is what my FWH called a "bar fly". She is only 43 years old and she has been married 4 times (but was single during the time my H worked with her), has had 50 registered addresses with 5 other mens names also listed none of which had any of the last names she had, she hangs out in bars, flirted with everyone in the office even letting them grab her.

I have been told by others that know her that she had slept with most of the people in the workplace, she knew my H was married (he had a family portrait on his desk that she saw whenever she was in there because everyone's desks were out in the middle of a big room) yet she came on to him. She had to drive out of her way on company time to get her fixes of my H and do her flirting and such.

But as you all have said once my H gave in to her he became just as sleazy as she was and i still find that strange to this day. She lived in a very bad part of town and hung out at bars every single night and my H went right along with her.

Believer i am not sure if it is some kind of a syndrome or low self-esteem or selfishness or what. All i know is people like her are a danger to any relationship because they do not give up and they have the sleaze factor to usually get what they want.