My wife got a call from a girlfriend and wanted her to meet her and some other girls in st. thomas. in January. Without even discussing it with me, she booked her tkt, took her vacation time and she was off. Me, trying to trust again and being the easy going guy, just let her go. When she got home, her cel phone rang. It ended up being the om, whom she hasn't seen in 2 1/2 yrs, but probably has talked to, though she won't admit it. She said he had no idea why he called, but the timing seems to be more than coincidental.

When she returned she talked of u.s citizens that went there and never left. They started a bar, or a shop or some other business venture and my W went on and on how great that would be. She befriended some of these people and exchanges emails. She says in her emails how she hopes to end up there one day.

My w works for a large company with operations in st thomas. I found a printed paper next to her computer with the contact information of the operations manager there....(is she planning on transferring I'm wondering??). She has also been visiting web sites for jobs in st thomas, relocating to st thomas, etc...

Am I crazy to think she's starting her plan to get outa dodge??

We have been married 18 years and 2 kds 16,12. I really don't think she'd do that to the kids but why is she researching this??? It's been almost 3 yrs since the a, but I really have never felt like I had her back. Is she gone?????

Have you confronted her about her investigation. Tell her if she was thinking about moving, do you need to make other arrangements. You have to have a straight talk with her. Yes it sounds like she is planning an exit.

How did she get to go off alone. NOT recommended by MB.

Do you have a POJA. Will you express your concerns to her. And what the heck is OM trying to do making contact. Is there a NC letter?

You know ... you really don't have to tolerate this type of ABUSE, especially after suffering a 3 year ongoing long term affair ... and YES, your WW has remained in contact with OM and likely spent the time in St. Thomas with him ... this A appears to have never stopped.

You appear to have a Walk Away Wife on your hands that is just looking for the opportunity to make her move.

My best advice ... LAWYER UP RIGHT NOW ... let him lead you to collect whatever evidence he will need in your state so he can obtain the maximum custody and property settlement for you and your children.

Myrev is right, lawyer up and hit her for alimony and child support (if you have kids)