It's great that the OW is giving him problems about spending time with you. Continue your Plan A and let her love bust all over the place. It will cause all kinds of problems in their fantasy life.

WS rang last night the ships not away this week now so he is coming tonight to see the children, however i think he is coming up looking for an argument he wants to change the arrangements thats been made about him having the kids this weekend he no longer wants to see them i have said to him this is unfair on the children thats why we have days and times in place, but she moaning she wants to see him this weekend so he wants to put the kids to one side unsure of what to do about this as i dont want us to argue and fall out but dont want the children to suffer and miss out either not sure how much longer i can keep all this up for now

WS just been round and came in looking for an argument which he didnt get, i stayed calm and we talked about quite a lot he said he thinks it best to cut the times down to see the kids even more i replied thats fine if thats what you would like but you can tell the children your new plans, we then sat down to dinner and he spent time with the kids and put them to bed
He then came back down and sat with me on the sofa and we talked some more he brought up marriage so i said that ive not given up on our marriage as i got married for life not to get a divorce to which he broke down and cried said he knows but unsure of what he wants
Then one thing led to another after a slight pause from him saying we shouldnt be doing this i replied yes we should were married we are doing nothing wrong and that was that he had no further hesitations then we sat and talked some more before he had to dash cos OW was expecting him
All in all a good visit he is coming to see the kids again on thursday so i have again invited him to have dinner with us too which he has accepted

had a good day today went shopping and treated myself to some new clothes came back to relax for an hour before picking kids up from school and getting them sorted
WS is meant to be ringing tonight so just have to wait and see if he does, I have received the tickets to the motorbike racing today which is for the 13th April not sure if we will be still going as OW doesnt want him to go with me and his keeping me waiting on whether or not he will still come like has been arranged since end december altho i have a feeling he will let me down with this and i have no one else to go with as this was a present just for him as he has a passion for bikes, so just have to wait and see
Feeling ok today tho and have had a nice time today i dont norm go out alone especially clothes shopping so i feel ive achieved a lot today

HE rang tonight and we spoke for 10 mins i asked if he is still coming to watch the motorbike racing on 13th april with me as the tickets arrived today i had been looking forward to going he said he dont think OW would allow it so he probably wont be going which has left me feeling pretty mad i didnt say anything to him he just said we can talk about it tomorrow but im not happy as we have both been looking forward to this for the past 3 months and i cant go alone i only got the tickets as its something he loves

You are doing a very good job. Hubby seems to be wavering. Try to keep it up if you can. Let the OW love bust.

I wish you could go to the motorbike races alone, even if he doesn't show up. That isn't possible?

not on my own not sure if i could get my sister to come with me but she never leaves her son when she not at work so dont think she would go dont really know anyone else thats into bike racing to attend with me ive been trying to think of someone all night that would attend with me but i dont know many people where we live now

feeling a bit low today WH is due round to see the children tonight and i have a feeling he is going to cancel coming round to see them saturday as the OW is demanding he spend the day with her altho this makes me angry that he can put her before his kids i know this is to be expected not sure what to say to him if he asks about cancelling seeing them saturday again
he mentioned this the other day and i stated how important it was for the children to see him and spend a few hours with him as that is all it would be he is having them for the day on sunday

May I comment that your plan A is going strong. Many folk are unable to keep lovebusters down in the face of inconsistent behaviour from WS.

Well done! I pray that there is quick resolution to your efforts.

thanks imagine ive done a lot of reading and learnt so much from here you lot have been amazing i cant thank you all enough for all your help and i know what ever happens from now on i will be ok with or without my husband

Tonight went pretty well WH sat on sofa with me when kids went to bed cuddling and we talked for a bit which was nice to do

He said tonight his not sure he will be able to go to the racing as she wont allow him too but his working on trying to come, im not getting my hopes up as i dont think she will let him

I had a wee slip tonight as it came time for him to leave tho a few tears came so i left where he was sat and went into the kitchen to sort myself out he followed me out and said his sorry for causing me so much pain and maybe he should stop coming round so much, I replied thats up to you but i like you coming round a lot to visit the children as this makes them happy
It also makes me happy but i never told him that

been a pretty tough night daughter got back up once WH had left tonight and started asking me loads of q's about why daddy doesnt love us anymore and why wont he live with us this was very tough on me i found it very hard but remained all calm and held back the tears and explained that he does still love them very much and at the moment he isnt acting himself but if daddy decides to come home and im trying my best to get this to happen as i love him very much that i would forgive him and we can work on everything

I also explained that if daddy doesnt decide to come home that we will be fine without him and they will still see daddy lots and lots not sure if i handled things right its very difficult to know what to say when she puts me on the spot, she said she understood and she wanted to help bring daddy home to which i told her that its a job for mummy and she is to just enjoy spending time with daddy when his here to see them and if she wanted to ask daddy anything about whats going on then she is allowed to as theyre was nothing wrong in asking questions

If your daughter is 8, you need to let her know that daddy has a girlfriend, and that married people don't do that.

yes im going to sit her down tomorrow after school and explain to her shes been very unsettled tonight and wont go to bed which is most unlike her shes been sat here cuddling me til she eventually fell asleep on me she said she was scared to go to bed and they have been sleeping in my bed too

It is okay for them to sleep in your bed - that is fairly normal.

Your daughter deserves to know the truth. Sit her down and tell her, and let her know that you have a plan.

well both kids know the truth now jamie came in while me and chloe was discussing it so just told him wee bits but not as much as chloe knows
WH came round to see the kids and we were talking i had left the laptop on and he see the MB site normally laptop is off before he gets here so its first time he has seen this and he asked what it was about which led into a discussion about marriages etc he said all the usual hurtful things im not in love with you anymore our marriage is over i tried to ignore it and suggested he read this site and that if he was willing to leave OW there is hope for us and we could have a better marriage than before and be happy,
He said he would read here next time he comes on sunday and i suggested that maybe he post here as this may help him see things more clearly he has said that he would on sunday so we will wait and see im not holding my breath tho
Apart from that a good night was had we all went to karate as him and the 2 kids do it i sat and watched he had asked me in the past to do it with them ive never been keen but wondering if its maybe something i should start i used to do it as a kid myself

eldest finally settled down for the night and im shattered and feeling pretty lonely tonight wish this would all just go away

Good job on telling your kids. It is important to tell them the truth. And all of this won't go away. Sorry to tell you that.

The karate sounds fun, and if you think you can still do it, why not?

yeah i know its just wishful thinking that it would and i did always enjoy the karate just been a long long time since i done it but couldnt do any harm in starting up my son is only on his first belt so might encourage him to keep going if i start with him
and even give me something to get some frustration out saves me bottling it all up

Its weekend so think i might take the kids out in the morning for some fun its been a while since we had quality time on our own and then were baking a nice choc fudge cake in the afternoon the kids choice nice and messy

had a bad nights sleep last night was very unsettled and so was the kids jamie was up 3 times during the night and at 6am both kids were up so im pretty worn out today and feel drained now im trying to motivate myself to go take the kids out and treat them before we come home and bake a nice cake

been a tough day today WH came round very tired and grumpy the children were out playing in there friends house over the road so straight away he got the hump and started ranting his come to see the kids not me and i should of made them stay in to which i replied its a lovely day out they wanted to go play with there mates. which led him to carry on and get very nasty about things saying that he doesnt love me or care about me i should let him go his happy now and is the happiest he has been in a long time i found this all very hard to listen to and it made me get very upset.

I asked him to stop being so mean to me and disrespecting me as i dont deserve this and if he wanted he could go get the children back from where they were playing, he didnt bother instead he sat on sofa moaning for ages and finding anything to throw in my face telling me how he cant wait for his new baby to arrive and how OW does things i never did like sit and watch tv with him and cuddle up on sofa talking so i replied we did do these things when we had time together i know what mistakes i have made in the past and put my hands up to my faults in the marriage but that doesnt give him the right to have an affair he then stopped going on about it

After me leaving him to calm down for a bit i approached him and said i didnt want to fight i cant help if i still love him but would like him to respect me enough not to keep throwing OW and baby up in my face he also told me that his informed the military that we are seperated now so wont be long before i get evicted now i need to look for a new home for me and the children

He then started talking calmly to me and we got close again laid hugging on sofa which led to other things after he said thats the last time it could happen he cant do this anymore i just smiled at him and said thanks he left happy and we were on good terms again his going away tomorrow til friday but he has promised to phone when he can

Feeling very exhausted after a really long day and the kids not settling so im going to go lay with them in bed and all snuggle up together