Thank you guys for saying this. I know your all right, and it has helped me to hear it.

the best revenge is living well

Amen to that!!

Make a new life for you and your babies and BE HAPPY. The best revenge you can get is TO BE HAPPY!!!

To HE!! with XWH and the SOW.

Sad,

I am so sorry you are in this situation. I am also.

My ExH M'd OW less than a year after our divorce. Now they are having a baby together. She is 17 yrs. younger than ExH.

I wanted more kids. ExH said no way! He told me he was too old and didn't want to be old when the kid was in high school. Well guess what?!

I am having a hard time of it too. He wouldn't have more kids with me, but did with her. And friends tell me they are over the moon!!

I don't want my kids to have to deal with all of this, but as hard as it is for me to accept, there's not a whole lot I can do. The mess is made and in a few months there will be a baby.

My DS has never really handled the D that well. My IC told me before we even knew ExH was having a baby, that if a baby were to come from his M, DS would have a hard time in that he only sees his father a few hours a week (ExH's choice), but this new kid gets his Dad 24/7, and DS was there first!

IC told me that I should expect him to have a hard time with all of this...behavior issues etc.

I really hate my ExH for putting my kids through all of this. Of course he is M'd and can have kids if he chooses to, but he never even thought of what it would do to his other kids?

Very selfish...

Just be there for your kids as they will need you...

Catgirl, thank you for posting. I have been reading your threads and my heart always go out to you. No woman, no mother should ever have to go through this kind of pain. And, I agree with the other posters that we need to move on, forget about them, live well, etc.. I want to..I know I need to..I am trying. But psychologically, I am not there yet. The pain is very great isn't it? My daughter did have a terrible time for the first year with the abandonment. I do not ever want to see her go through that pain again. And what you mentioned about your son, how shameful of your ex. There is a possiblity my ex will get some sort of visitation, and what then? In and out of her life while she knows he has a new family? But, I do believe if they could leave our kids so easily, something is missing in their soul and this new other child will not change them.

Sad,

I am like you. I KNOW I need to move on. My IC tells me this every single appt. I have. I'm not there yet and we've been divorced a year and a half.

IC tells me I spend too much time worrying about him and his life and should be using that energy on me and creating a new life for me. I KNOW that, something just keeps me from doing it!I doubt ExH is thinking about me, so why should I spend so much of my time thinking about him and his life?

Guess I'm jealous that he could move on so quick after all the years/history we had without batting an eye. He seems to have gotten what he wanted, and OW got the life I wanted, and I'm just plugging along.

Just doesn't seem fair that God would bless them now with a child for all of the pain they both have caused.

I say to myself everyday...living well is the best revenge. I am trying to live well, but some days I just wish it were over.

CG and SM, would you mind emailing me?

I've got some info that might help you out.

***edit****

I had to change my thought process on this in order to accept that my H got another woman pregnant. My youngest was my H's only son but is severely disabled. OC is a healthy boy. We just began visitation a few weeks ago. OC is 4. It has taken me this long to accept that God did not "give" the OW this child. Yes, children are blessings but God gives us free will and that includes procreation. Otherwise there would not be all the child abuse, child abandonment and children killed at the hands of their parents in this world.

You both are going to need to help your children accept this. It bites big time that once again YOU are the one hurt while it appears the adulterers got away with their fantasy. If you are a believer remember this...there are no unrepentent adulterers in heaven. God will be the final judge of them.

Faithful,

You are so much stronger than I. I know I'll get 2x4's for this, but I hope my kids don't want anything to do with this baby. Selfish I know, but I've never been one to hide my feelings here before, and that's how I feel.

My pastor told me the same thing. God will judge later on. I guess I don't want to wait that long and want ExH and OW to get theirs now!

Catgirl,

I think that's a totally normal feeling, wanting exH and OW to get what's coming to them now. They hurt you terribly and it's something that's very, very hard to forgive or forget. People get to that point at different times in their lives. I'm sure that you are a very strong woman. Look at what you have had to deal with, and you've thrived.

The human spirit is an amazing thing.

CG emailed you back.

Squidges, Kimmy

Thanks Verve,

I don't feel that strong right now!!

I just want ExH to have a life of hell. I keep telling mutual friends not to tell me things, but I just heard that when they see him and OW they are SOOO happy together!

Makes me sick!!!

Sure their happy...till they get home and she chews his [censored] about not putting the seat down.

You won't get flamed from me for those feelings! You have been betrayed in the wort possible way and you want to protect your children from more harm. Me too. I didn't allow my children contact with my IL's for a long time because they befriended the OW and had her and OC to their home, all while ignoring me and my children. Time has a way of healing.

Dealan-de

I just logged in and saw your message, but is email different from replying? I am new and don't know how to if its different, just let me know.
thanks

Wait I may have figured it out let me know.

I would mail the OW a box with some HUGE ugly size 35+ preggo granny panties in there. Let her enjoy being huge and pregnant. I would hate it.

She probably already wears that size. She is HUGE already! DD went snooping in her closet last year and she was a 3X!

ExH DEFINITELY didn't trade up. I was large, not that big, but lost a ton of weight due to the "infidelity diet".

At least something good came from his cheating!!!

hee hee this is so funny! My ow was maybe 100 pounds when he began the affair, I was maybe 200 (hey i had two kids and his stress) but now 2 years later she is maybe 200 pounds and only 2 or 3 months pregnant and I so far I have lost 35 pounds. And will lose so so much more (for me not them). Men who are only in to the physical looks are so stupid!

trust me you'll loose more...I lost 120 pounds after my ex.....I felt like a new woman...I was single and Gorgeous.....Now I am more domesticated and getting married next year...and yes I have put most of it back on....go figure.