Did I mention I'm going out with my best friend tonight? She's finally dating someone, but she has a free night. Trawling... I better go bait the hook.

Hey GG, I'm glad to see your spirits are up. My two cents; If you're desire is to go out and be among people, to enjoy the male dynamic, do it. You're not looking for a husband you're looking for some company.

I have been so far removed (a very busy life) from wanting to involve myself in the dating business that I was surprised and pleased the other day by two men, friends of one another, interacting in their uniquely male way. It was such a pleasure to hear them laugh and work together, to just act as male friends do, I realized that I miss that male energy in my life. What I'll do about that I don't know, but I was happy to find I still want it. It sounds like you do too.

Hey, I'm an old man. Can I get lucky with a Saturn?

Is it one of those big fancy SUV saturn's I was looking at? You know, 2 moon roofs?

Nams, male energy is pretty important in life. Just being around men is fun Honestly, I cannot bear the thought of getting married 3 times. I know that could change, but really! 3 times makes it seem as if I'm just a tad greedy, or a flake. But I do like men.

Oh, and when my sister and her boyfriend and I were out yesterday, the cute young bartender seemed to be making eyes at me. G, my sister's boyfriend, wanted to know what I'd do if the bartender wrote his number on the receipt. I told G I'd laugh and ask the bartender if he had any idea how old I was. I may have been the youngest woman in the place, but that wasn't saying much.

Just enjoy yourself GG. Sometimes, it more fun to be out as an observer than on the prowl.
On some of these dating sites, you don't need to be a cougar, younger men see the 40 something woman and pop up hoping to get lucky.

There are two singles events next weekend.
Want to meet in New Hope on Friday night?
It's fun crowd, dancing, band and DJ.
When's the last time you went to New Hope?

How's life going?

Yes, how are things going?

I have a couple of experiences about people dating after losing their partner. One guy was a dear friend of mine at work. His wife of 33 years died and he was devastated. He came back to work right after she died, and everyone told him to take more time off, but he said he couldn't stand staying at home looking at 4 walls.

I even gave him "The Grief Recovery Book". I was quite worried about him.

Three months later, he married again!!!!!!! We couldn't believe it, and his adult kids were very unhappy. But he married another friend of mine from church that he and his wife had known for 20 years. They met in a church grief recovery group. And they are still very happy 5 years later.

Before I got married, I dated a widower who was a very nice guy. He had a very happy marriage and was crushed. After only 6 months, he asked me to marry him. I told him I thought it was too soon. We broke up, he met another woman and they married after 6 months. And they are still happy after 20 years.

It is not that spouses are replaceable, but that a great marriage leaves the door open to getting married again.

I suggest you go out with men (and women) friends, and not worry about it.

Life is going well, Cinders. I've decided I have a complex in which I think male friends want to jump my bones. It must be a complex because not a one is attempting to jump my bones or even hold my hand. Now I'm wondering if I've imagined all the sexual tension or, worse, whether it's simply that my system is overloaded.

I gained a couple of pounds. Literally 2, and the Wii Fit made the little Mii fat! This is WRONG! OTOH, it is making me think twice about what I put in my mouth.

Easter was a little difficult but not like some other holidays have been. Spring in general is an affront. How dare it look pretty when Mike as left the planet? It is what is is though.

Otherwise, my life is relatively mundane. Thanks for asking

GG - We posted at the same time. Great minds think alike.

Thanks, Believer. I would have missed that if you hadn't posted.

I think you are right. Great marriages show you how possible it is. I'm not sure that I could get married a THIRD time, but I feel much differently about marriage now than I did after my divorce. In some ways, widowhood is easier. In a lot of ways,it's worse. For example, your spouse won't fight with you even when you're p*ssed as all get out.

I don't think I'd get remarried right away because of what that would do to Mike's family and my kids. A quick remarriage does hurt a lot of people although I'm not sure why.

It's also funny how different everyone grieves. I think my divorce increased my ability to adjust to the loss of Mike.

GG - Never say never. My work friend said he would never date or get married again, and a couple of months later he was married.

But it was like a fairytale come true. I'd known the woman from church for about 15 years. Her husband cheated on her and they divorced. Then 10 years later her son got killed by a train.

She had vowed never to remarry but hooked up with my work friend in a grief recovery group through church. So she went over 15 years without remarrying and my work friend went a couple months. You just never know.

And as far as being married 3 times, I've been married 3 times. The love of my life, first husband died in Vietnam. I didn't date for 17 years, but then got married at 36, and had 2 kids. We stayed married for 11 years, and then he had a heart attack and died.

I waited 2 years and married my ex. We stayed married until he cheated on me. Our marriage lasted 11 years.

Then I dated again and almost got married, but I thought it was too soon.

So, who knows, I may go the rest of my life single, or may get married in a month. LOL!!!!!

Believer, you have so many encouraging getting-married again stories. I think the difference between once-happily-married and the divorced have is the divorced is less trusting.

GG, you're 42??? When you said old, I had 60 in my mind!!!!
42 is still a kitten for the cougars.

Thanks, Ruffled.
Believer, I missed this post. Wow. I didn't know your back story.

Never heard of no one for five year rule.

One year should be enough to mourn the loss of a loved one. If one is past fifty and already has kids then there is no urgency to marry again. No one has to remarry to be happy.

I agree that no one has to be married to be happy.

However there are many here who desire to be married. It used to be that women had a hard time remarrying, but now days it is easy.

I'm way older than the rest of you, not beautiful nor talented, but I still have lots of offers.

I agree that no one has to be married to be happy.

However there are many here who desire to be married. It used to be that women had a hard time remarrying, but now days it is easy.

I'm way older than the rest of you, not beautiful nor talented, but I still have lots of offers.

I don't think any here would suggest that marriage is necessary for happiness. In fact, there's a camp that proclaims the opposite. The 1:5 year is actually something I heard tossed around for healing from divorce. The widow groups I belong all say that everyone grieves and heals in their own way. I was just wondering what my friends here thought. I don't think I'll even wait a whole year if the opportunity arises to go on a date.

Believer, I don't believe for one minute you aren't beautiful and talented. I know you to be both.

No timetable GG. Just when you feel comfy being able to do that..date that is.

and a little "cougaring" isn't bad btw.

Heck if T and I don't end up getting married, we could go "cougar-about" together!!! lol!

Now that I just turned 40, can I be a cougar? I wonder...

does the cougar have to be single or married or whatever?

Just give your heart ample healing time and don't give a care what the world says or does. those damned DeBeers commercials used to always make me think I needed to date or have a serious relationship ya know..especially around the various holidays or seasons.