I am so confused! My husband and I are seperated now for 5 mos. He kept telling me I didn't try hard enough to get us back together. After 24 years of marriage ( a rough 24 years) I truly had no hope. I told him this and I still believe that we can not work things out but deep in my heart I ache.

Now after 5 mos. he agrees with me and as he told me he would( during our issues) he is in a relationship with someone. He says that life was short and he needed someone.

I am happy that he is happy with this other person but it hurts so much. I feel like it was way to easy to replace me. But on the other hand I know I really didn't give him much choice.

He says he still loves me but he can not be happy with me and cannot make me happy. He says he doesn't want me to be angry, that I shouldn't be angry because I said things were over. I agree with this to some extent but we haven't even filed yet. I guess I knew this would happen but I didn't know how bad it would hurt.

Any suggestions on how to help the hurt heal faster? Am I being selfish for being upset about this? I don't know what to feel anymore.

soconfused-

There is no way to heal the hurt faster. You were married to this man for 24 years. Even if those years were difficult, there was something that kept you together.

Your H is now wayward. He has another person meeting his needs and he is in the fog of an A.

What do you want? Do you want your M? If you do, I would suggest you post this on the General Questions II forum where more vets can give you their advice. It's not too late to start a plan.

Have you considered going to DivorceCare? These are support groups for divorced and separated people who are seeking to heal, to be accountable, and to be supported during this difficult time. Just go to their website and type in your zip code. They will list the places that a DivorceCare group is meeting. The meetings are usually hosted in churches, but you don't have to go to that church to attend. I didn't go to the church where the group I went to met.

Either way (healing from a D or recovering a M after an A) it's a process that takes time and work.

Hang in there-

It sounds like you don't want a divorce, yet you pushed him away from you, driving him into someone else's arms...that doesn't excuse him because no one should bring a third party into a marriage, he should have waited until he was divorced before getting someone else. Now it's complicated with another person involved, but not hopeless...
Make up your mind what you want and if you want to save your Marriage, do plan A asap! Try to get counseling too if you haven't already. There is tons of valuable help on this site, read it, read the suggested books too. If you cannot get your husband back within a reasonable period of time, then Plan B so he'll know what life w/o you is going to be like and give him a chance to think about things before hopping headlong into a divorce. You were married a long time, there had to be something there.