Quick background: I'm 30 yrs old with no children of my own, I'm a faith driven man who married a woman who is 31 yrs old with 2 kids from a previous relationship. We met a church years ago, we were freiends before we started dating. We've been married for 3 yrs now.

I need some advice, my wife and I seperated last Sunday night, I packed my bags and left. I need some advice on how to survive a seperation. We still talk, either on the phone, through email or text we just don't see each other. Is their anything I can do like send a edible fruit basket, I transfered $100 into her account so she can get gorcery's, what should I do to help the situation and give her space.

I know I couldn've done a lot of things different. At times I wasn't the husband that I could've been and she says its hard for her to get over a lot of things even though some have been a few yrs ago, but I see the urgency of this and that she's really thinking hard about leaving me. I've overlooked the little things and I've done a couple of major things wrong but when I express my wrong doings she just says, that's nice but it might be to late. She stills stays in contact with me a little bit right now, I'm just giving her space. She'll text me good morning or have a nice day, or at night goodnight and also ask where I'm staying at. Should I reply to these messages or ignore them? Plus I'm leaving town tomorrow should I tell her or not? I don't know if she's playing mind games or what. If anyone can help me I'd appreciate it.



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Yes, you should reply unless you want to send the message you don't care. Yes, you should tell her you're going out of town, where you're going and how to reach you. Flowers are always nice, so long as they aren't part of a pattern where you do something that hurts her, send flowers, and then go do the same thing all over again.

Have you read the Basic concepts? Start by elminating all LBs (Love Busters). You need to avoid LBs at all costs. Once you have a history, even a short one, of not doing harm, your wife will be more open to allowing you to meet her needs. Make sure to read up on the Policy of Joint agreement as well, and consider posting this on Emotional Needs forum. They get a lot more traffic.

There seems to be some room to save the marriage. If your wife was 100% sure, she wouldn't be talking to you or texting you.

PS: Have you called your pastor yet? Since you two met at church, and he probably married you, he may be a good person to help you two work through the problems.