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#1849493 03/24/07 03:53 AM
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Has anyone's spouse ever said "I love you but I'm not in love with you." without having an affair?


me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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I doubt it ...

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Steve, not sure, but this post sounds like you need to be in General Questions ... a lot more traffic there.

They can help you.

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I will move it thanks.


me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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I highly doubt it. If a spouse were NOT having an affair, perhaps they would say someting like "Im not happy".

That statement is a huge red flag, in my opinion


BS: Me, 43
FWH: 50
EA/PA with My Friend Jan-Apr 06
DDay: 4/29/06
NC: email 5/1/06

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JustKim,

Even this statement ("I'm not happy") is a red flag for me. My husband kept telling me he wasn't happy these past couple of months, then I found out he was having an affair.

But, yeah, I would say if S is saying "I love you but I'm not in love w/ you", they're probably having an A.

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I've said it often and have never had an affair. It's possible. Perhaps that's a clue that your spouse wants you to actually recognize that the marriage needs work.

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Thanks you guys and girls for responding. She said it after a few big fights we had. And when I push her for an answer. She wants to move out now. She is beyond wanting to work on marriage it seems. She says she can't be what I want her to be. So it seems most cases when a wife says Love you but not in love with you there is an affair but there are a few exceptions. Thanks


me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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Hello,

For your partner to say this to you is very worrying, i have recently found out that my wife of 5 years has had 2 affairs last year, i remember numerous times when we talked last year she would say the exact same thing to me. there is a differerance from being in love and loving somebody, if you cuddle each close you should feel like you are safe and there is no other place that you would like to be, when you make love you should look into each others eyes and feel that connection, when intimacy starts to feel routine and something that you feel you need to do then you are not in love. my opinion only but i would definetly start watching what my partner is doing and who she/he is doing it with.

Russell


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