I like the sexual harassment angle.

I agree. and I agree with writing the letter. Sometimes my husband and I don't have time to talk so I write him letters and leave them for him so he can read it before he comes home from work. It does help, and I get the chance to get all of what I am thinking during the day while he is not here off of my chest. And it does help.

Confused,
Have you told your husband yet?

Hi there

You sound very much like me in December last year. Torn between the 2 depressd and stressed. Children picking up on my mood - one angry, one sad.

I told my husband New Years Day what had happened and how sorry I was and how I wanted to show my commitment to him. We had a tough few days - you can catch up on my thread - he has been violent (although not since I told him about the A).

We made a NC letter together and worte a letter informing OMW. This gave H the opportunity to verify that I was telling the whole truth. It also gave him the added security knowing that she was now watching her H and that contact would be v difficult.

We are making positive strides together now. I am not over the A. I know it's wrong and I don't ever want to go back there. Withdrawl is terrible but much more terrible is the pain that we have caused our spouses. There are many WW aroud that will give you tips on how to overcome withdrawl and will be here to support you....if you show that you are committed to saving your marriage and the shame that you say you feel suggests early on that you know a little about how badly you messed up.

Do the right thing for your H for you and your children.

ST

You are a brave person to share your side of infidelity. It sounds like you truly want your marriage, then go after your marriage and do the right thing.

I am a BS, and I wish my WH had the ability to ask for help to get out of the A and tell the truth, you can't have it both ways, please do the right thing, it will give so many BS some hope that WS can think of others, and at least give him an option to have a choice in the matter. By you not being honest, you take away his ability to choose. Be fair, if there is such a thing in an A. It already hurts!!! I wonder if my WS is confused and struggles with guilt?

You are in the position to get good advice and guidance. Use it! Can you not make it about you at this time, there are family members, do the right thing, Struggle through it, and do the right thing.