My husband and I have recently run into some issues where he is putting his friends as a priority over me and our son. He has told me that he wants to spend more time away from the two of us and with his friends. In light of recent events, I am uncomfortable with him doing so. These issues have greatly damaged the trust that we have, and I don't feel as loved or wanted as I used to. So much so that I don't even feel like being with him or that he wants to be with me. He believes that because I don't want him spending "alone time" with his friends that I am being controlling and I don't trust him. I have told him that things need to be rebuilt. He expects that he can do one or two little things and everything is fine, but I've told him it will take more work and time to repair the damage that has been done.
He blows up at me for something simple like a question about one of his female friends and then blames my "tone of voice" for his response. Things have not quite gotten violent, but in the last week and a half, he has gotten in my face on numerous occasions, shoved me once, and told me to leave quite a few times. He threatens to have me arrested if I take "his" son with me, or to have me arrested for stealing "his car." "His" son is also mine and so is the car.
It doesn't really matter how I approach him- he reacts the same way. I can yell or talk- he will find something that "caused" his reaction; like my body language, tone of voice, etc. He's never acted this way before- just within the last couple of weeks.
I am really confused and I don't know what to do. It seems like nothing I say gets through to him or he just tells me he's not listening because I'm bitching at him.
Is my marriage doomed? What can I do? What can he do? How do he and I fix this?
Thanks in advance.

*Note* I want to clarify that the issues surrounding his friends as a priority are separate than him spending time away from myself and our son. There is more than one single issue going on.*

If he has female friends, he is most likely having an affair.

Does he spend time on the computer? Install a keylogger to trace his activity. Does he have a cell phone? Get the records and check the phone numbers he's calling and texting. Ask a friend to follow him when he goes out with these friends and let you know where he goes and what he does. Or hire a PI.

You can't move forward until you know this.

And the 'in your face' is his manipulation to keep you off guard and feeling guilty and scared so you won't push him too hard, so he can retain control of the situation.

Start documenting EVERYTHING he says and does.

And you might want to ask the mods to move your thread over to the General Questions II over in Infidelity, to get more help. It's pretty quiet here.