Thats what I'm saying, my unfinished business is fixing her, or at least repairing the piece I broke. I can do it!
Two things:
1.) You CAN”T fix her as an xH with a girlfriend. You will only keep her at her lowest. I know you want to be Superman and save everyone around you, but it’s not reality. You are not realizing your own limitations here.
2.) It is not unfinished business, as xW is no longer your business. You divorce paper states she is no longer your business. Your kids at her house are your business, but not your xW or her emotional state.
You CAN fix her, but that would require you leaving your girlfriend and rebuilding what you had with xW. If you can’t do that, you CAN’T fix her. That’s the bottom line. You can’t have both. It a simple choice, but a hard one. Make the hard choice and get off the fence. No one is telling you which one to choose, all we’re saying is pick one and stick to it.
What I don’t understand about you Dude, is that you’ve more than leveled the playing field. At this point you’ve done more than xW in the sack in regards to equalizing things. You are way ahead in the game. Why would you not go back to xW as the one with the most chips? I understand the pain of being betrayed, ad how that will stick with you for some time, but I don’t understand your looking back all this time to the degree you are. You have cool toys/cars and female companionship from a young attractive woman, but yet you still look back to xW. If you love your now girlfriend in the way she deserves, you shouldn’t still be here reflecting on xW? The only reason you should be here is to reflect on what you did wrong in the last relationship and how you can improve yourself going forward, but you are not doing that.
Your inner battle is between your heart and your ego. Your ego can’t accept living with a betrayer, yet your heart loves xW and is having trouble dealing with the situation. If you utterly can’t live with someone who betrayed you, then invest in your now girlfriend and start fresh. For one, I think it would be easier to battle your ego than your heart, but that’s me. I’m also disappointed that your kids aren’t part of your equation. If your heart loves your xW and you have kids, then battle your ego do what is right by your kids. Either way you go, you have a battle ahead of you. Also, either way you go you should be focusing on changing yourself to improve yourself. If you choose your girlfriend, start working on changing your heart and learning about what it truly means to love someone. If you choose your xW, then learn to control your ego and what it means to sacrifice, serve others and embrace your humanity. Either way, read books, study your inner self, and become a student of life.
