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I just read about the dad in Washington who killed his 5 kids and himself Saturday. Turns out that he caught his wife with another man Friday night. She was with the OM when her children were killed.

And all for what? She will get over the affair and have THIS to get through. What a waste..........

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Very sad. Of course the BH was wrong and wrong to kill those children, but I remember the devastation I felt on Dday and how bad the first 2 months were - didn't think of killing my children but still... People just don't understand how trauma like that blows a person's mind to hell unless they have been there themselves. So much loss for nothing.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Here's the new story

This is so tragic. I just don't understand how anyone could take the lives of their children...


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FWH42
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EA 4/07 - 4/08
(Confirmed by polygraph that it had not gone PA)
Dday1 4/13/08
Dday2 8/8/08
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Believer, I hope you're not suggesting that the WW is to blame for this? I mean this guy is a phycho!


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This IS so sad AND a waste. What a horrible consequence for that mother to live with for the rest of her life... and all because of her own selfish choices.

I read where relatives claimed the dad was "controlling", etc. Gee, where have we heard that before?


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted By: princessmeggy
This IS so sad AND a waste. What a horrible consequence for that mother to live with for the rest of her life... and all because of her own selfish choices.


You have got to be kidding! What you are saying is actually disgusting. I suppose we should feel sorry for all the poor armed bank robbers in prison who murdered bank tellers in robberies all because they were fired from their jobs or taxes went up and they NEEDED the money. God, how can their ex employers of the government live with themselves!!


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crosseyedcrazy What the heck are you talking about??? It's HORRIBLE because FIVE innocent children had to DIE because of this whole chain of events put into place by their mom's choices.

Of course the dad was DEAD WRONG for how he reacted and the way he chose to handle it. There is NO excuse for that...

But the mother was also DEAD WRONG because of her selfish choices.

Sheesh...


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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and the Mother has to live with this on her conscience and have the blood on her hands for the rest of her life.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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Exactly..


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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Originally Posted By: bigkahuna
and the Mother has to live with this on her conscience and have the blood on her hands for the rest of her life.


I really pity people who think this way


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ya know what, you just never know how a person will react to great levels of abuse. Adultery drives some people absolutely crazy. With some people that is a VERY SHORT DRIVE. We know people who have hung themselves, committed suicide, killed the WS and/or the OP. Things they would never normally dream of doing. I beat up my husband on the side of a road.

There is absolutely no excuse for what this man did, however, it would be insane to not point out that he was being horrifically abused by his cheating wife and that may have pushed him to this brink.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Quote:
There is absolutely no excuse for what this man did, however, it would be insane to not point out that he was being horrifically abused by his cheating wife and that likely pushed him to this brink.


EXACTLY


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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Originally Posted By: princessmeggy


I read where relatives claimed the dad was "controlling", etc. Gee, where have we heard that before?


I guess he wasn't too "controlling," his wife was out catting around like an alley cat in heat.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted By: MelodyLane
ya know what, you just never know how a person will react to great levels of abuse. Adultery drives some people absolutely crazy. With some people that is a VERY SHORT DRIVE. We know people who have hung themselves, committed suicide, killed the WS and/or the OP. Things they would never normally dream of doing. I beat up my husband on the side of a road.

There is absolutely no excuse for what this man did, however, it would be insane to not point out that he was being horrifically abused by his cheating wife and that may have pushed him to this brink.


I completely agree with this. Yes she will have the fact that she had an A on her hands. But the blood is completely on his.


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Vlad - this woman, if she doesn't suicide, will go insane because of the guilt she will feel for the death of her children. Regardless of who pulled the trigger she will blame herself. But for HER actions this would never have happened.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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Originally Posted By: myfamilyilove
Believer, I hope you're not suggesting that the WW is to blame for this? I mean this guy is a phycho!


Exactly. A sane man would have shot WW and OM.

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This is so far beyond infidelity.

I think we all know that this is beyond what any of us on this board can conceive.

No one here would murder their children because of what a WS would do.

This is an extraordinary case, I think we should all agree on this.

Bad choices, all around.

I was married to a brutal man that I was terrified of, he beat me and the kids, but mostly the kids, cause I learned not to challenge him, and I was lucky.

Mental instability is VERY difficult to deal with.

We survived.

This is beyond adultery, I suggest we leave it where it is.

Perhaps the WS contributed to this situation, however, there is NO excuse for what this man did. Did I say NO excuse?

I, for one, am not going to bash ANYONE. It is too tragic. God have mercy on their souls.

Peace out,

Love in Christ,
Miss M


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A 34 year old man shoots a 16 year old child. So man has child when he is 18. Not necessarily relevant but interesting.

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My wife, Squid had a friend-acquaintance from her sport named Brian Philcox. His wife was divorcing him and his every instinct served to support her case. Outbursts of frustration, gestures all gave her lawyer ammunition.

He was poised to lose almost all access to his children and almost all his assets in a very unfair divorce.

He took his two babies out for Fathers day last year and he gassed them and himself at a countryside beauty spot, He left notes that made it very clear that this was a hostile, vengeful act.

I do not know if his wife had cheated on him, but I do know their marriage was difficult.

I also know that many senior players in this sport are corrupt and violent.

In Brians case his hatred for his wife overwhelmed his love for his children IMO.

And that is about the most selfish wickedness I can imagine. The betrayal of your duty of care for your children is worse than any other betrayal.

Regardless of the provocation.

I could never act on a jury where a BS killed an OP. I could not be impartial. Or even where a BS killed a WS. "Crimes of passion" they used to be called in British law - that got lighter sentences.

But in these cases where these men killed their own children to spite their spouse ? It is pure evil IMO.


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Originally Posted By: Bob_Pure
But in these cases where these men killed their own children ti spite their spouse ? It is pure evil IMO.


I completely agree.

Bob there was also a case you knew of where the BS suicided as his WS rubbed his nose in her affair. Of course the WS doesn't have his blood on her hands either. twobyfour

I'm all for personal responsibility but cases like these illustrates the insanity of adultery and no one is blameless for the results and consequences.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
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