Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 8
T
ToniH Offline OP
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
T
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 8
Hello all,
My situation in a nutshell..H had an affair with co-worker back in 2000--threw her under the bus when I found out (about 7 months into it). I verified everything and he was transparent.--FF to 2006--H took up with her again...I have now gone thru 3 years of gaslighting, trickle truth and now he doesn't even answer my questions anymore..just tells me to file instead of answering my questions-because he says he is tired of hearing it. I know that he has feelings for her but he has made no move to divorce or even move out..
I would like to try Plan A as I know there were issues pre A--I never worked on myself and always brought up the affair to him every chance I got..How do I do this if he is still involved in A? do I continue to have sex with him when I know he is still seeing her? I have seen an attorney, at least to get advice. The house would be the only issue as trying to sell right now is not good and neither one of us can afford the house and live on our own..any advice is appreciated. I really want my marriage but fear it is too late..Want to make me and the home attractive again but at the same time don't know if I can continue to sleep with him when he's with her..If I refuse sex, I could be dooming my marriage anyway...
THX

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
What have you verified? How do you know it's gone on for 3 years?

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 8
T
ToniH Offline OP
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
T
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 8
I have verified thru emails, hotel receipts. He took her on a trip for 2 days while enroute to meet sisters two months ago...OW contqacted me last year to tell H to leave her alone and stop contacting her..found out it was only to get him to contact her as he had broken it off..it worked, he contacted her and they reconnected.....

I need help with Plan A and 180 divorce Busting...

I have consulted an attorney and due to economy finances neither one of us is in a position to S or D right now...

Thanks for the help

Last edited by ToniH; 04/07/09 12:01 PM.
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
Well, Plan A doesn't work unless you expose the affair. Have you exposed?


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
2 members (jbs, 1 invisible), 907 guests, and 76 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Reyna98, Nofoguy, Ingrid Guerci, Wifey02, forevermemorable
71,822 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5