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Thanks. You were right. She's about 10 years younger. He's no moneybags. But she is, her husband says that she likes to buy things for friends, but it comes at a price, then she gets resentful. She has bought him a lot of stuff. She's helped him furnish his place. He's moved out and is renting a house. She filed for divorce in January and her husband is pretty much done with her. I want my H back. We have been great before, of course some issues, but I had no idea him filing for divorce would ever be an option. I believe that if he comes back and we work, we can be great again. I have maybe one person at his work I could talk to, but they may run tell him, I'm not sure.
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No, there is not a court order. But here in TN, something called a fail-safe, says I won't contact his employer. I called my attorney and she says I really don't want to call or even write to his work - ugh!!
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Thanks. You were right. She's about 10 years younger. He's no moneybags. But she is, her husband says that she likes to buy things for friends, but it comes at a price, then she gets resentful. She has bought him a lot of stuff. She's helped him furnish his place. He's moved out and is renting a house. She filed for divorce in January and her husband is pretty much done with her. I want my H back. We have been great before, of course some issues, but I had no idea him filing for divorce would ever be an option. I believe that if he comes back and we work, we can be great again. I have maybe one person at his work I could talk to, but they may run tell him, I'm not sure.
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Ok, so the attorney is saying "you really don't want to contact his work", but that is REALLY different than it being a LEGAL issue or getting you into trouble LEGALLY.
I have no idea what the laws were in CA (where we lived) or AZ (where the OW lived and where I exposed to her employer) but I don't believe that would have stopped me...the A HAD to end and exposure was the only way to do that.
She is a teacher and I exposed to her entire school, the principal, the school psychologist and everyone on the staff at her school. Overall it amounted to 50-60 people I believe.
If you want any chance at all at saving this, YOU MUST EXPOSE.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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Wow, I've been in the legal field for years and I've never heard of this term "fail safe". Hmmm. Learn something new...
Anywho, Tennessee IS one of the states where you can countersue him for divorce on the grounds of adultery. You might ask your attorney if you could name OW in your cross-suit... talk about exposure!
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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What is to stop one of your FRIENDS from exposing at his work?
What is to stop some concerned citizen of the state of say, Texas, from sending a strongly worded letter to the HR department stating that there are two employees engaged in extramarital affairs on company time, using company computers and company resources? And also, placing the company at risk for sexual harassment claims????
What is to stop any American from sending a letter? I would venture to say that there is no risk whatsoever from your Mom, for sending a letter???
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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I was thinking the exact same thing, SB...good job.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Anywho, Tennessee IS one of the states where you can countersue him for divorce on the grounds of adultery. You might ask your attorney if you could name OW in your cross-suit... talk about exposure! Ohh, good idea! You should definitely check into this!
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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NH, So "$$ loving OW" told your H about her crush in November and filed the big D in January?? It sounds like she was getting the boot and grabbed onto your H as she was falling. I mean come on, there is Thanksgiving and Christmas in there...with 3 little kids??  There is more to this than meets your H's eye. Course he is blinded by the fantasy, but the boy sounds like the fatted calf heading for slaughter. Or at least a stopping off point for her, until she finds her next big moneybags. ""He's no moneybags. But she is,"" She has $$??, or her STBX (soon to be X) has the money? As far as contacting HR, how about letters from all over the WORLD informing HR of this sleaziness. Just give us the names and addresses. (just kidding...,I think) kirk
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Just give us the names and addresses. (just kidding...,I think) Hey, it's happened before... I found out looooooong after the fact that people here on MB emailed OW for me and told her off. I had NO idea they did that for a very long time. MB peeps rock.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Just give us the names and addresses. (just kidding...,I think) Hey, it's happened before... I found out looooooong after the fact that people here on MB emailed OW for me and told her off. I had NO idea they did that for a very long time. MB peeps rock. Wow, that is so cool. I wish I'd known about it. I miss ALL the fun! 
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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And emails, using "hideme" can come from an anonymous source.
There is more than one way to skin a cat.
You probably have many friends who can put a stamp on an envelope. I hear they teach that in second grade.
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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I just flashed on something.
How much to rent a billboard outside their office?????
JOHN Bumstead and Julie Otherwoman are having an extramarital affair. As a result they are breaking up two families. Using company resources and computers to carry out this affair, it could lead to sexual harassment suits and embarrassing signs like this in public.
Tennessee law says *I* cannot contact their employer. Can someone help me let the ABC Company know about this risk to their firm????
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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Wow, I like it. The more I think about this affair, the sicker it is. And, by the way, it's a mental health agancy!!
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krusht, She has the money. She's a doctor - psychiatrist. What typically happens if an affair is exposed to an employer? He actually filed in March, but it is all moving so fast. Now he says that we have had problems for years. Of course, there was the usual stuff, money and intimacy (what else is there)? And, we've never seen a counselor for any issues. He said he didn't think it would help AND he's a therapist!!! Ugh!
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I've been reading your post too and I'm so sorry for what you're going through! My gosh that is so cold. But really after having gotten all the advice and words of wisdom I have so far, I believe that the "fog" is a powerful thing but that it can be cleared when exposed. I'm going to follow this MB plan because that is the only I hope I have and I've read lots of success stories AND have these great people to help me through it. I hope yours and mine will be one of the great sucess stories!
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HOLY CR*P, THEY ARE BOTH THERAPISTS?!?!?!?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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This is INSANE. You MUST, MUST, MUST expose to their employer. I hope to GOD that an employer in the MENTAL HEALTH industry will do something.
<shaking my head in disbelief>
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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I found out looooooong after the fact that people here on MB emailed OW for me and told her off. I had NO idea they did that for a very long time. REALLY ? .... Why, that is just SHOCKING !!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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