Believe it or not - I'm almost out of the woods. He's been gone since Friday. I can tell from the way that everything went down that he wanted to leave me just didn't know how. He did every act that he could do. It looks like he spent more than the entire weekend with her. When he's not with her he calls constantly, she rarely answers or calls.

I had a true revelation. I have come to terms that it is God's will that I be removed from the situation as it was. The only thing that has given me peace and allowed me to get any sleep, was hearing God tell me that this whole thing is a disaster and that there is no way that this would work out unless we came through him and God flat out told me that my bf would not come and that he was not for me.

Now, with that said. I of course have talked to x-bf, as a matter of fact he was due to come by last night. I have been medicating myself by looking through his phone and laughing at how many times he calls and she doesn't answer. Than I get a low when he doesn't call(they're together) but it was working for me. I ran my big mouth and lost accesss to the account. And I was devasted. So I called up x-bf to see if he would be coming by and he said yes. I was all bumped up. I was going to get the code and have access again. I was not sure if he was coming because he had said he was and never did on days b4. When I got home, I was feeling better than I had in days, not only was I going to get the code, I was going to be with him! And God just started to speak to me (again) and I was saying but, can't I just do this and can't I just do that and this is the perfect time to get the code. And God said "I said No!" xbf had told me for 2 days that he was coming and didn't call or anything. Last night I told him, that 8:30 would be fine for me and he agreed and said he would call me around 8:15-8:30. I was tested last night. God told me that he was ready and that he was going to call(on time) but he forbid me to proceed with my own desires. He gave me fear and peace and strength. I talke to xbf but knew by 7:30 that I would not let him come.

[u] wanting him to stay [u]

I think I may have an addiction to x-bf
I know that if we are ever together it will be through God's will, not our own. I don't think it is God's will that we be together and I am not going to keep insulting God, calling up to him, asking him to bring xbf back to me. He does not want to be in a relationship but is not opposed to staying, and I pretty much feel the same way. I want to go on with my life and have the freedom to be with and go where I please. I do not know why I'm wanting him to stay. Knowing that we are really, truly over. I'm trying to figure out what I am trying to do. I do not want to do something like this thinking that we can be together, because although God's will can be changed him living there does not have any effect on that, and I'm just confused. I think that part of me still wants something from him. I feel like I want to be his friend and a person that he confides in. And I honestly feel that this is not about the relationship as it was. This is stupid.

I think I want to be able to stand with him as his Friend so outsiders (not my people, but his people) will not see what truly happend. I want it to look like we have a failed relationship but "we" are still strong. Not that we have sex or anything that... just that it's not the we, we thought it would be but there is still a we.

Please honey, get some psychological help.

Wow, that was pretty cruel. But I can take it. I also, have psychological help . I probably just posted this to get kicked around a little bit. I'm not trying to take advantage of the board but you guys are very insightful and have been instrumental. The replies that I have received here about xbf have helped me to face reality. I'm just trying to get over the next hump, maybe I should have kept it to myself.

Wow, that was pretty cruel. But I can take it. I also, have psychological help . I probably just posted this to get kicked around a little bit. I'm not trying to take advantage of the board but you guys are very insightful and have been instrumental. The replies that I have received here about xbf have helped me to face reality. I'm just trying to get over the next hump, maybe I should have kept it to myself.

Is your xBF married?

How did God communicate with you? How did you test the message?

xbf not married.



He spoke to me clear as day.
It was quite the conversation. He told me that bf would have much pain and suffering and I was hurt and wanted to plead for his mercy, So I said "wait, wait, wait" and He said no more waiting, that I needed to get myself together and that I love xbf more than him and that I am his child not xbf's child and that I am his child b4 I am xbf woman. It was just a regular voice, that was close but far.

I still prayed for xbf to come home the next day. God told me if he came he would come as satan to destroy my life.

Than last night, when I wanted to be w/ xbf. God warned me, I had no way of knowing that xbf would truly call. And I was trying to talk myself down from the excitement just in case he didn't. God told me he was going to call on time, and that I must not, under any circumstances allow him to come.

It sounds crazy, but God is saying other stuff not about bf. It's not just about bf.

I posted b/c I am better about the relationship. I know that it is over, b/c God told me. bf told me it was over too, but that just means he will cake eat as much as he can where ever whenever he can. I would have fought for him and held on. but not now, but I still want to hold on to something.

:crosseyedcrazy:


Well there ya go.

If you believe you're addicted to x-bf, pray to God to give you strength and wisdom to follow His will. Ask Him to show you the path He wants you on.

Thank you.

If you're not married to him and he wants someone else, why are you debating anything? Also, I'd question the voices you're hearing from God...try reading the Bible instead. And keep getting psychological help...