My concern is centered more on your rights as a father. I'm concerned that they'll let her move.

I really feel you should be filing for primary custody and am a little befuddled as to why you haven't done so unless you're still pending a hearing. You have her "breakdown", her family in your corner, and her general crazyness to use against her as well as the history of POSOM.

Have you talked to POSOM's ex? You have her name. Look her up!

And yes, not working is considered voluntary impovrishment and it is especially so when you have a degree.

You can't go and ask for alimony once you're divorced, unless there's something I don't know about.

You should have custody of these kids. Is there a hearing pending? When is the hearing to show cause?

Regarding your wife, I know I have heard of a more irrational person then her. I just can't think of when. I find it amazing that an intelligent person like yourself could have ever hooked up with someone that is so obviously without character or a moral foundation such as her. And I am not speaking only of her cheating. At every turn she has lied and deceived, not just you and everyone else that knows her, but herself too. You are so well rid of her. The POSOM will bail soon. He won't want to hang around her to long. She has absolutely nothing to offer her now.

I'm concerned as well. Not just that they will "let" her move, but she WILL move and they won't make her come back. I'm sure I relayed this story to you previously in this thread, but this is what happened to the OWH in my situation. OW and WstbxH secretly bought a house in another city. He had daily access to his DD up until that point - he picked her up from school and he had roughly half the overnights, give or take. He was smart enough to speak to the school principal when he got wind of their desire to move. When OW tried to transfer DD to another school, the principal refused to release the records without OWH's signature - this was how he found out. By the time OWH found out, he couldn't get a court date until after the move took place. The judge essentiall tsk tsked her - said she was wrong to move without telling him - but what's done is done and OW ended up with primary custody and continues to screw over OWH regarding visitation.

Oh, and there was a children's aid complain against WstbxH at the time because DD had told her teacher he walked around the apartment naked all the time.

So whatever you do, DON'T just assume because you have a strong case that things will work out. Once your XWW moves - she's moved. If the kids are with her - then the onus is on you to get them back - which is not easy no matter how obvious it might seem.

psubiker update

Still checking for update.

I think PSU has taken a holiday this last week. Looking forward to his return!

Hi all,

Surprisingly, not much has been going on this past week. In fact, it is kind of nice to be detached from the day to day drama of exWW.

I did get a call from exWW on the 24th - she went to the courthouse to get the rule to show cause paperwork. Of course she was angry - basically said I was stealing the kids from her and just being vindictive. I told her I wasn't the one that moved and if the shoe was on the other foot, she would have done the same thing. In other news, her old attorney is no longer representing her. Most likely she doesn't have the money to pay but it wouldn't surprise me if she had hired a new attorney either. She fired her original one the day before the 1st PFA hearing in September.

I had the kids this weekend from Wed - this morning. We did the typical activities. We went to see Monsters vs Aliens and it was GREAT! Rode bikes, played XBox, dyed Easter Eggs. All in all, a fun weekend with the kido's.

On Friday, I went to a used furniture store and found a 6 piece kids bedroom set at a killer deal and purchased that. Once I get it into my apartment, both kids will have a complete bedroom set and will really help me out with storage of toys and clothes. I can't wait!

DD's birthday is on Saturday - she will be with ex WW. Not sure what she will do for a party - all friends and relatives are 2- 2.5 hours away from her now. I'm planning on haveing a cake for her Thursday night and will give her her present too. As for a party, it will be in May once my folks get back up from Florida.

Hi all,

Some news on the legal front. I received a letter from exWW's attorny for a motion to withdraw. Evidently exWW hasn't been communicating with her A either. I thought her A was pretty good - I had some contact with her when we signed the custody consent agreement and she helped tighten up some language and offered some suggestions to both of us from her experience to help tweak the schedule. ExWW probably didn't like some of her advice.

I also received exWW's answer to the rule to show cause. It read a lot like her PFA's against me. A lot of stuff slung hoping it would stick. Some of the lowlights:

1. Said I voluntarily moved to my new apartment end of July 08. (she forgot to mention the PFA she filed on 8/19 then the motion to delay the PFA hearing for 26 days she filed on 8/29 thus forcing me to find a new place. I also signed my lease on 8/30. IN the first PFA she filed she said we were separated but sleeping in separate bedrooms as of 8/1)

2. Said she can't hold a job because of a reading disability. (THis was diagnosed in grade school. In the meantime she was in the National Honor Society in High School, graduated from Penn State with a degree in Marketing with a 3.5 GPA. Her twin sister had the same issue and graduated with honors from law school)

3. Can't hold a job because of chronic pain

4. was a SAHM for 10 years. (our oldest is 6)

5. Totally lied about the distance between my place and school

6. Said she is filing for full custody - if she does, it will put an injunction preventing her taking the kids out of state without my permission.

Since her answer is filed, we should have a date scheduled with the judge soon. Now it's just a waiting game.

PSB -

When this drama ever dies down a bit - you need to think of doing a book deal. A fiction writer could not dream of this storyline and yet you have lived it.

I trust that as before you and your attorney will burst her balloon. When you show all the documentation and false charges you have proven. You have a lot of people praying for you and your family.

Looks like your exWW is being advised by a real scoundrel (no prizes for guessing who that scoundrel is) , and wants to play while you get to pay. The filing for full custody is an obvious threat to get you to agree to her other demands.

Looks like you've got your ducks in a row though. Good luck!

I wouldn't worry much about her claims. She has to provide proof. She can't just say she has a reading disability. She has to show proof of a diagnosis or has to provide all of her medical records since giving you any medical records surrenders her right to keep the medical records priveledged.

So then all must come out, which include her mental health issues.

The other stuff is easy enough to shoot down. Your attorney should file a response to this filing with the logic you show. Hard to say you were a SAHM for 10 years when your oldest is 6.

She has a degree and you have NO obligation to support her once you're divorced. I don't think there is such a thing as a retroactive alimony when she waived it already.

Nothing she says holds up and if she is going in there without a lawyer then she is a real fool.

You're going to do well. Just be calm and cool and let her be the one that is off the deep end.

Have you talked to POSOM's ex wife?

I went through her answer again and found another gem:

I (mother) has been the legal primary caregiver of the children since birth.

Not sure how this will fly with the judge. But, I'm sure my A will hit her hard with this. Just some background, my A used to be a family court judge prior to going into private practice.

I hope for the sake of your kids that she does indeed crash and burn in the court.
Its probable that POSOM is advising her.

Your children deserve a lot better I pray the courts will allow you to be their rock.

I wonder if that Judge who was so annoyed with her the last two occasions will sit on the matter? THAT would be a big karma bus.... probably too good to be possible.

Excellent!

Hi folks,

I need some advice. I'm scheduled to have the kids for Easter. Historically, Easter has been about the exWW's side of the family. My folks are still in Florida for Easter so we don't do anything for Easter on my side.

Typically, we would go to exWW's father side and then exMIL's house for Easter. I texted exWW and told her I have the kids and am making plans. She still wants me to try and take them to all of the Easter parties. Or, just let her take them.

My dilema is this. I want exWW to feel the full consequence of divorce and also start my own holiday traditions. But, on the other hand I still want the kids to see their cousins. Now that we are divorced, I feel kind of awkward showing up at the in law's houses with the kids for holidays while exWW is at home. Anyone have any advice?

It's not going to harm the kids to start a new Easter tradition with you. There are always other holidays (when mom has them) that they can see their relatives.

As long as the OM is not allowed at any of the parties. I think you showing up with the kids, even with the ex there, drives the point home that the OM will never be part of her family!!!

I am a firm believer that once you divorce a person, you divorce their entire family. It is the ex-spouse's responsibility to maintain whatever relationship there is to be with THEIR side of the family.

If it were me ... and it was 20+ years ago ... I would NOT be taking the kids to ANY ex-in law functions, and that includes funerals, weddings, etc.

No advice. Just an opinion.

My vote~~~> start your own NEW Holiday Tradition...

and make it spectacular !