Don't get me wrong. I think the show is very well written and acted. If I wasn't going through what I'm going through, it wouldn't bother me, and I'd actually enjoy it.<P>What I find personally depressing about the show is also what Holly touched on. Basically, anything that shows a couple blissfully happy and in-love depresses me.<P>But I thought that others on the site (especially those not wanting divorce) would be depressed by it also. There are a range of issues from kids having to cope with their parent's new girl/boyfriends, to struggling with lingering feelings of the ex-spouse, to infidelity, etc. All that stuff can strike a raw nerve to many people on our forum, so I thought I'd give a general warning.<P>--andy

Like I said, it's all in how you look at it. Profess, if you think that show is disgusting, then I imagine you don't like much of what is on tv, and that's your perogative. I LOVE the show. I find it refreshing to see two GROWN UP, non-90210-ish characters with real problems, children, finances, etc, rather than looking at Buffy-type teenagers all the time. And Chris, Sela Ward is beautiful, but I'll take the guy any day of the week. He is the most sweetest, gorgeous man on television, IMO! <P>Catnip, thanks for your affirmation. I think that showing that there can be love the second time around can work for both those facing divorce and those still working on their marriages. My H and me are falling in love again, and this second time is better than the first.<P>Holly, it's only depressing if you close your mind to the possibilities. Why not look at the show and KNOW in your heart that you WILL fall in love with H again, rather than dismissing it.<P>It's all in how you look at it.

WFM,<BR>First off, I want to apologize if I come off to strong with what I am about to say. I present it in love though I am sure my wording is probably going to upset you. I truly present it in Christian love and not in an antagonistic manner.<P>You're right. There is very little on tv that I like to watch because tv has gone the way that has been prohesied in the Bible. I wish that these things were not true but it must take its course. It is not that I don't like seeing others show that they have problems also. It is that those problems are the same problems that are shown in the Bible and the end result is eternal death (eternal separation from God.) Their solution is not in synch with His will.<P>I just find it depressing to see people in pain when they are unwilling to listen to why they are in pain. Yet, I know this is all apart of the game plan because of the sinful nature that is in us all. We have to go through this in order for His light to be meaningful.<P>No, I don't have a holier than thou attitude. I just remember when I looked at life the way it is portrayed on the show. I had no peace. Yes, I struggle as all Christians struggle. The only reason I am have been successful thus far is because He has been directing my path. He is living His live through me as He molds me into His image. He gets all the glory, honor, and praise. I only chose to let Him direct my path and thus I have peace now even in the midst of the great pain that I feel. I thought it was impossible to feel that way until my relationship with Him developed more and more with each new day.<BR>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by professorg (edited October 21, 1999).]

Profess,<P>Your post did not come across harsh at all. Just one reminder, though. Television is an INTERNATIONAL venue, and not all of the world is Christian. While I appreciate, respect and acknowledge your right to your own religious views, I think you should also appreciate, respect and acknowledge the right to those who have views that differ from yours.<P>This is a big world we live in. Not everyone is Chrisitian, not everyone is white, not everyone is republican, not everyone is under 30. Not everyone is jewish, not everyone is black, not everyone is democrat, not everyone is over 40. Not everyone is anything. I just think we need to remember this.<P>There is goodness all around us, and if we immediately close our mind and our eyes to that goodness because someone doesn't believe exactly like we do, or look exactly like we do, or vote exactly like we do, then we miss out on what these great people have to offer.<P>Just reminders. Peace.

wfm,<P>I'll be the first to agree with you about the whole diversity issue (heck, I'm an atheist!), but I feel I must jump in to defend professorg a little here (even though he can probably defend himself quite well on his own).<P>He was merely stating his opinion, and he was not trying to convince everyone he has the only right answer. For what it's worth, even though almost every post Rob submits is filled with religious dogma, I'm rarely offended by him. I think he's actually careful <B>not</B> to try to push his religion on everyone else, but rather just to portray his point of view.<P>--andy

Andy,<P>I guess I'm confused. Why do you feel you need to "defend" Rob? I certainly hope he doesn't look at my response as a need for a defensive rebuttal. I was merely giving him a reminder. As I stated, I respect and appreciate his views very much. I have never found his posts offensive in any way shape or form. Believe it or not, I am Christian myself, but I tend to not look at the world in a "christian/non-christian" light because there are just too many people out there who aren't the same as me. (Btw, the majority of the world population <B>is not</B> Christian.)<P>So, no need for defending anyone. Everyone is cool, everything is cool. Peace.<P>Oh, and one more thing I guess I'll remind everyone. There's this wonderful little button on the remote that changes the channel! Thank God for diversity, varitey and CHOICE! (I still LOVE the show!) ~ peace<p>[This message has been edited by WorkedForMe (edited October 21, 1999).]

Andy,<BR>Thanks for the support. <BR>You're right. I don't want to push my beliefs on any one. <P>WFM,<BR>I don't exclude any possibility because in all the possibilities that exist, there are those possibilities that lead to realities that I will enjoy forever. However, there is the other side of the coin there are those possibilities that lead to realities that I would not like forever. There is a lesson to be learned from all prespectives. But some possibilities we should stay far from them. An example is putting my hand in the fire or not. If I don't, I don't get burned. If I do, I do get burned and also have to suffer the pain associated. (I used this analogy not because of hell but because my youngest son decided that he would touch the inside of our oven when we had clearly explained to him with hot water what hot was.)<P>There are good points in the show. However, the overall theme of the show goes against everything that Christianity espouses. I am KNOW that I am looking at this very narrowly but is has to do with how I feel right now. The main theme is what I disagree with and hate.<P>God be with you. MONDO HUG!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

I'm with you professorg. Most stuff on tv is junk. I didn't even own a television for 6-7 years, now only watch once or twice a week. Mainly PBS, ya know, This Old House and the Antiques Roadshow.<P>First, I haven't seen the show "Once and Again" ,but I tend to stay away from stuff like that. I think there was some movie "Stepmom", that deals with this stuff too. When the choice to divorce is not your own, then the only thing you can do is make the best of it and hope to fall in love again someday, I suppose. But these kind of shows tend to make light of divorce, like, "hey, it just didn't work out, it's all for the best, my life is great" blah,blah. Why don't they do a show where the guy cheats on his wife, he confesses, and every week they show you how long and hard it is to rebuild? How is that for real life? My impression from these posts is that the show boils down to, hey, life is just wonderful after divorce, you get to hook up with some really hot guy. Did you say she wasn't divorced yet? Oh by all means. Her H cheated on her first, so throw the marriage out the window and your kid's future with it! Anyway, I didn't see it, don't plan to.

Student,<P>No, that's not what the show is about at all. It does not portray everything as hunky dory. I wouldn't presume all that without watching the show first, but that's your perogative. Personally, I choose not to try to hide or censor myself from what's out there. Instead, I like to check everything out and make the decision for myself rather than rely on someone else's perception. Even Siskel and Ebert! (Wondering why we are arguing about a tv show in the first place?? <P>This particular show very much goes into the problems of single-parenthood, beginning new relationships, maintaining a healthy relationship with your ex, etc. Rob, you're right, the show, like many others, shows a couple having pre-marital sex. And you're right, I think she isn't divorced <I>yet</I>, but woe is me, she is moving on with her life! Lots of imperfections on the show for sure. But I have a question for you. Where does it say in the bible that Christians can't make mistakes or that Christians have to be perfect all the time? If that's the case, then there will be no one in heaven, including you and me, I suspect. It shows people being people, yes, sometimes sinning as we all do at times, and it shows people learning and going through life. If there was a show on tv that displayed everyone as the perfect Christian no one would watch because it would be way too unrealistic.

WFM,<BR>No Christian is perfect. However, the emphasis is not to be on being imperfect. The emphasis is to allow Him to direct our paths and not do those things in the appropriate situations that He wants us to do because we believe in Him. A Christian is to be convicted to cease doing that behavior which is contrary to His will. You will have an uneasiness that will tell you to stay away from situations where you know that you are weak. It is the professed Christian who gets themself in compromising positions where they know failure is very likely. As I develop a more close relationship with Him, He lets me know when I should stay away from certain things. This show is not one. I don't like this show because it gives my W the thought that it is okay because it is on tv. Most people Chrisitan and non-Christian assume that it is okay to do what society says is okay. I am finding that society reflects the valuse moreso in recent times the values of non-Christians than Christians. It has been prophesied in the Bible that it is to be this way. Doesn't mean that I like it> I hate it because it contradicts Chrisitanity and what this forum espouses.<P>Mondo Hug!!!<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by professorg (edited October 22, 1999).]

Rob,<P>Wow, I guess you feel pretty strongly about this particular show, huh? I feel the same way about shows that exploit women and shows that promote bigotry and racism. Those are the shows and movies that really get to me. Unfortunately, not many people speak out about those. Oh well, another topic for another forum.<P>Something you said did stand out. You said, <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>"I don't like this show because it gives my W the thought that it is okay because it is on tv."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Rob, there's always going to be <I>another show</I>, ya know? Those negative outside forces are literally <B>everywhere!</B> Your problem, IMO, lies in your W's thinking, not the particular shows or outside force. If she thinks it's <I>"ok"</I> to have an affair because of what she sees on television, then it's her who is the problem, not the television show. If your W watched a show that said it's cool to jump off a bridge, would she do it? This is the same mentality of the people who commit crimes and then try to blame a movie, a song, a tv show, or whatever. I don't buy that. We all have to take responsibility for our own actions and stop trying to cast blame elsewhere.<P>I'm sure you know this already, and I'm just reiterating it.

WFM,<BR>The state you talk about is the sinful nature that is in all of us. The sinful nature is easily duped by Satan. He tell us that is okay and we believe him. He has us thinking that is our idea when in reality it is his. God lets us know that He is directing our paths unlike Satan who tells you that you really are calling the shots. We call the shots as to who is in control: God or Satan.<P>God be with you.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Rob,<P>That is true, humans can be weak and can be duped. But there are those of us who <B>know</B> right from wrong and there is no show, no song, no book that can persuade us otherwise. Yes, Satan is alive and well, but there are those of us who know when he is trying to ruin our lives no matter what form he takes.<P>Again, the problem lies within your W. There is always going to be negative outside forces fueled by Satan. Always. That's when our free will that God has granted each of us has to kick in and we must <I>choose</I> to do what is right.<P>