From a now locked thread:


In another thread (that has since been deleted), I believe MyRev said (sorry if I'm confusing you with another poster) something along the lines that a WW on her best day is still worse than the worst WH. So........

why is this? WWs entitlement exceeds that of WHs? General observation?

I kind of agree but want to hear from others.

I don't get this, I want to hear more on why people think this.

I'm not sure I get it either. I can see that a WW might be harder to drag away from her OM than a WH and therefore worse because it makes recovery harder.

But I don't get why it's worse for a woman to hit on a guy than vice versa.

If both sexes are equal ( I guess that's a debate for a different day) why is one worse than the other?

So my stance for now is surely both the same. But, I'm open minded.

Justify your corner and I'll see where I stand at the end of the discussion.

I'm not sure I get it either. I can see that a WW might be harder to drag away from her OM than a WH and therefore worse because it makes recovery harder.

But I don't get why it's worse for a woman to hit on a guy than vice versa.

If both sexes are equal ( I guess that's a debate for a different day) why is one worse than the other?

So my stance for now is surely both the same. But, I'm open minded.

Justify your corner and I'll see where I stand at the end of the discussion.

First,
I think the too statements are completely different topics, WW vs WH and OW vs OM.

JMO, but I assume OWs are suffering from some self-esteem issue, so that they need to compete but will settle for crumbs. I assume that OMs are also feeding their ego but are looking for some easy nookie without any responsibility.

Now, for the WW vs WH, that one is tough for me having been a BW and a WW. I can easily forgive my exH for his affair but have still not forgiven myself for my affair.

Maybe it's my ego, never believing that I was capable of acting so Skanky.

Maybe it is my assumption that woman are genetically engineered to protect the nest and men are engineered to sow as many seeds as possible, and I destroyed my nest which goes against my genetic and moral code.

I don't have an opinion on which is harder to break, the WH or the WW. If my H had shown ANY interest on my marriage, I would have stopped the affair. But intead, he gave my OM a job and started a very active dating life himself. I tried very hard to break up his affair, meet the needs and then just wait it out, but to no avail. His A didn't end until after the D was final and even then, he had no interest in me.

I think both WW and WH have their own entitlement issues, they seem pretty equal. The WW assume they can just kick the BH out and move the OM in, the WH assumes he can just set up the love nest with the OW and the BW will hold down the fort somehow.

"Wayward" is a non-gender specific adjective. No matter which gender it prefaces, it equals the same death and destruction of a marriage.

I don't see the point of a debate about who is worse. It is ALL BAD! That is like arguing which is worse, robbery or embezzlement. Bad is bad...

Ditto

I agree with Mels point.

Which is worse? Kids or no kids was my first thought.
My WW thinks what she is doing is good....IE...at least the kids will see me (her) HAPPY! She wanted to take them from me...because I "sucked" as a father, husband, person, etc. She wanted all our $$....and even some we didn't have!! I see this pattern in WWs.

In WHs....they seem to just leave!! They send their $....and go about their way.

My dad is a good example. Sat my mom down....said he was done...and walked. My dads boss called my mom about 2 months later. He told her about OW.

I hope this makes some kinds sense....

The bolded portion disturbs me somewhat. I agree with Mel - bad is bad so who cares what is worse. But why is there any gender differences at all? I can see how it might make a difference in the approach, the plans and the results. But why is one sex more ethically and morally wrong than another?

In my humble opinion I don't know if they are worse but yes I think in a lot of cases they are worse and here is why.

When a WW cheats and falls in love and wants out of the marriages here is what she expects.
1. She gets the kids
2. She gets the house and the kids.
3. She gets child support
4. She gets Alimony
5. She gets OM to move in and replace husband

It usually never enters their mind that they should vacate the home. They should lose the kids. They should pay child support. They should pay Alimony.

When a WH cheats on his wife he in most cases does not expect to get the house and kids and have his wife pay him child support and alimony. Now I am sure there are a few cases where men expect this but we all know that is not the way it is.

Now this does not all happen but that is the mentality. MY XWW in emails and phone calls talked about this with the OM. He was going to take my place and her goal was to get all the assets I worked for and just replace me. She also wanted me to pay CS and Alimony so I would go to work and hand over all my pay so she could be with her new special guy.

I was aggressive and was not going to let that happen but that was her mentality. I have known a couple of WH's and their expectations were nothing like this.

That is why I think WW are very dangerous for husbands. My mom was a horrible person who was like this and would destroy my dad or anyone else for a dollar.

And one other variable that is not the females fault but also enters into it is this. When a couple is married and a woman is pregnant one thing is for certain. She KNOWS that she is the mother. Us husbands do not know this for a fact so this is another reason why WW’s to me are even worse than a WH.

Now that does not mean that a WH is great in comparison. The entitlement to take our children, home, move in a new guy, pay CS or even Alimony to a person who did this is in a word disgusting. At first my hope was after I filed for divorce is that she would leave and if she did I would not press for CS or Alimony obviously because I was the bread winner but you can bet if I would have cheated she would have demanded it all.

I won in the end but still her entitlement was very scary.

IHadEnough, what surprises me is that:

When a WW cheats and falls in love and wants out of the marriages here is what the man does:

1. abandons his home and children without a shot fired simply because his wife wants "space"
2. The man hands over the kids
3. The man hands over the house
4. The man pays her child support
5. The man pays her Alimony
6. The man moves out to accommodate the OM so he can move in and take the BH's place
7. The man doesn't take a stick of furniture

Why are men such pushovers? Why do I have to tell men how to act like MEN on this forum every day?

If women really are worse, it is because men ENABLE them in every way. All she has to do is act ANGRY and they collapse in tears and hand her whatever she wants.

Because being around women makes all the blood rush to our head...

but the wrong one...

Mark

I wonder, BR, if you've read any of the articles on this website. You seem to have a profound lack of knowledge of how A's occur. The "run of the mill" as per Pep's thread is how most A's happen. I've never hit on a married man in my life. But I'm the FWW.

I really also cannot see how either/or a WH or a WW is better/worse than the other.

To echo Mel.

To quote one of my dear friends... "They both suck"

LOL Mark

Wayward are waywards are waywards period.

However i do agree with the original poster that here on MB it seems to me that WWs are "trashed talked" far more than WHs are (actually women in general IMHO).

Like i stated in Peps "run of the mill" thread. Maybe it is the "boys will be boys" type of thinking.

This is like asking which is worse, having your right leg amputated or having your left leg amputated.
Either one is horrible.

Thanks for the response IHadEnough. Is your opinion because of what happened with your WW or did you feel this way pre-A because of what you saw others go through?

How is it I don't understand how As happen because I ask this question?


But obviously others do or they wouldn't have said otherwise. I don't see either as "worse" but some things bother me more when a woman does it vs a man...perhaps because I'm a female. There can't be a debate on which is "worse" since an opinion is subjective but I was curious why some believe a WW is "worse" than a WH.