Faithful,

I understand that God did not give this baby to them. They of course had free will. I guess I am just having a hard time understanding why ExH and I tried so long for more kids, for many years, never happened, then ExH said no more anyway, he was getting too old.

Now they are having one and they are adulterers. I look at that as a reward.

Guess I just don't understand how God works...

I've been lucky. I've been able to keep it off.

Not to sound conceited, but I look better than I have in years!

I have to admit that part part of the drive to not have that second piece of cake is that I know what OW looks like, and I want to make sure I always look 10 times better!

I want ExH's friends to say to him, gee, did you see catgirl, she looks great!!

eventually tho you stop caring what exH thinks....it was like you said for a long time....my exH's friends would see me and say whoa...she's so hot...damn you were so stupid to let her go. The next question would be so can I ask her out....exH said NO.

But life does go on....I am so happy now with my Duckie, my baby boy, and our kitties.

Well, at least you got a No, SIHW. During the A, a couple of Ike's friends asked if Ike would mind if they went out with me (like I would...ugh) and Ike never said no.

At least that I ever heard. I think the only thing he ever said was, "Verve wouldn't ever date anyone like you."

HERE IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOUR EX HUSBAND :twobyfour:
HERE IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOUR FAT, UGLY, PREGGO OTHER WOMAN :twobyfour:

BE DONE WITH THEM NOW! :twobyfour:

That made me laugh and I needed to laugh.
I am okay now, but had a bad day. My ex called today and I didn't answer the phone. This is the message he left on the voicemail,
"hey this is (ex), I wondered if you could bring the kids and meet me somewhere, I have got something to tell them but I want to be the one to tell them.. (long pause).. its important to me to be the one to tell them (other woman) is going to have a baby. Call me back as soon as you get this message" (he hangs up).
WTF???? Um, has the affair made my ex mentally unstable or is he just a narcistic sob trying to have one last piece of control to hurt me? (sorry for the bad language I am mad). I wanted to call him back and rant but I am just ignoring it. For anyone that doesn't know and may think this is good of a father, this man abandoned his kids two years ago.. they have never heard from him..two christmas..two birthdays..I don't think my little boy could pick him out in a crowd. I hope he is just being mean, cause if he really believes this,, we are going to mediation regarding visitation (ordered by the court neither one of us have a choice ).

It sounds to me like your kids thought she was just FAT! And now, he has to tell them she is not only FAT she is PREGNANT! Who would know when you are dealing with a really fat person. They could be pregnant and no one would even know.

They could wear the same fat circus tent clothing they always wear all during the pregnancy. It seems like there is hardly room for a baby in all her fat.

Oh I think you got me mixed up with cat. My kids have never met the other woman.

Hey, when your EX tells the kids about the preggers OW, tell them to say: "Oh I thought she was just F-A-T!!!!"

And then walk away....!

Oh I am sorry. Then why can't he tell them on the phone? It is no big deal. It would be a more important and great thing if he called them to say SHE WAS NOT PREGNANT SHE WAS JUST FAT ALL ALONG!!!!It is easier to get pregnant than to keep from getting pregnant, often.

i am sure if my daughter ever gets the chance to see either one of them she will and alot more also. She is very honest and vocal in her opinions.

Bubbles,

Funny you said that. I had a feeling that OW would be getting pregnant sooner or later. I asked DS recently if OW looked pregnant. I know I shouldn't do that, but he sees her, I don't, and I just had this feeling she was... I was right. Anyway, he said he didn't know. I think cuz she is so fat, he had no clue!

She's due in a few months and ExH just told him a few weeks ago. I guess he figured he'd better tell him as I guess she is getting FATTER!!!!

He can't be serious! I think affairs really do turn the waywards into selfish, self centered jerks! (and I was a WW long, long ago)

Are you going to ignore him, I hope? Have you told the kids? What is your plan?

sadmother, how old are your kids?

My daughter is 9 and my son is going to turn 6. My son is to young to understand any of this so I am waiting to tell him when I have the final decision on if he will ever see his father. I did tell my daughter, only because she has experienced the ow crazy antics and I don't want her to hear it from anyone else. My daughter doesn't say much about it and I don't think its real to her. She has enough problems dealing with what he has done to her.
And yes I plan on ignoring his voicemail. There is no point in having a conversation with someone who is so out of touch with reality.

SM, emailed you back.

(((SADMOTHER)))

Sadmother,

Did the ex ever tell the kids about the ow being pregnant?

Over and over again I read how everyone tells people to move on, get on with your life. If there was this magic switch that we could turn on, I imagine we would.

I would have to agree with the rest of the people with regards to support. I can't imagine the court taking money away from you. If anything the ow's child will be the one to lose.

But as someone said, you don't need to take care of that today.

What I found most vital to my recovery was just dealing with what was immediately in front of me. Nothing more. I talked to G-d all the time and asked him what the next indicated step was. I was nonfunctioning.

I don't know if someone asked, but if he walked out two years ago, where have you been and what have you been doing to heal?

Thank you Queenie,

That is wonderful advice about dealing with what was only immediately in front of me. I am going to try my best to do just that.

As for healing, I did turn to God and I know he has supported me this far. And I have the love of family and friends.

I am not sure how to explain where I am in this process. I have accepted that because of the trauma of infidelity and abandonment my life will be different, but I am hopeful that it can be happy life.

But I think my biggest obstacle to healing is I need closure - but not for my relationship with ex, I got that finally (divorce plus i am done with the pain), but closure for my children's pain and legal issues that are yet to be settled. It is a very heavy painful burden to me. They are to young to understand but I see what their pain could be in the future.

You asked if ex did tell them, the answer is no, I haven't heard anything back again. I really believe my ex is in a dark and unstable place and he doesn't comprehend the things he is doing wrong. But I did hear something, which may seem insignificant to everything else or like I am taking to seriously. My ex's OG has told people (its a small town, word gets around fast)the name they will call their baby. The middle name is the same middle name as our son. To me that is insult added to injury. Ex abandonded our kids and now my son will know that his father not only didn't want him, and started a new family, but gave the new child his same middle name. So thats one example of why I need and want closure from this nonsense.

Anyway, sorry if I wrote a book, thank you for letting me share. And I will continue to keep your family in my prayers.