I am creating a new post so my WW won't track my progress through the divorce process. Is GQII the place to post this?

I have an extensive thread following the demise of my marriage due to the continuing infidelity of another poster here. Her affair began back in November and continues now. It's a long sad story as many of you know. I have finally come to see that I have nothing left to give. I'll be seeing an attorney in the morning to initiate divorce proceedings. It's been an extremely agonizing journey and I think I've taken more than most people would take to get to this point. I can say with all conviction that I gave this my all.

My focus will be in moving forward in my life without hate and bitterness, and ensuring that my children are impacted as little as possible by this horrible mess.

I'm looking for advice as I fight for custody of my children and to keep the home that I built for my family. I am prepared to go to war in the interest of protecting my remaining family.

Thanks to all my friends who have supported me through this.

Oh, first detail: She is refusing to leave the home. She only has a part time job and is afraid of losing the kids. I think the kids are her last link to morality. I feel utterly horrible to come to this point. I have been asking her all day to leave out of respect for herself, her children and me. She says I'm kicking her out. I won't stop the pressure.

Any advice? Once I clear it with my attorney, I intend to open a new bank account to deposit my income, assuming it's legal or won't get me in trouble. This will leave her with very little.

I've never posted to you before. Kept meaning to, but others were saying pretty much the same things I would say, so there seemed no point.

Your WW reads here too, and can likely find your new thread. I strongly suggest you reach out via email to the experts in legal and fathers' issues - specifically Mr Wondering, MEDC, and MortarMan - and then disappear from the boards for a while, at least until things are well underway.

Others have recommended you ask the mods to nuke your other threads. This is great advice...including this one.

If you have any concrete proof of her infidelity, preserve it! Maintain several copies, burn emails to CD and print copies. Keep a set with your lawyer, hide a set at work or with your family or a trusted friend. Evidence has this curious way of disappearing once push comes to shove.

Close any joint accounts - including bank, credit card, investment, and HELOC. Anything with both your names on it that she can drain money out of or run up the balance on needs to be closed and the balance put in your name. DO THIS NOW BEFORE SHE DOES!

Document time spent with the kids - what you do and when.

But let me reiterate - get with Mr Wondering, MEDC, and Mortarman and then get off the boards! No sense discussing the battle plan for your divorce in an open forum that she knows about!

I concur...

AND

you are welcome to email me. Seriously.

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - I'll be traveling all day tomorrow, but I'll try to check later tonight and tomorrow sometime. I've got a document or two I can share with you and I could put you in touch with Baron.

I agree. As much as I'd like to help you, you need to go off line with those willing to help you offline. She is worse then a basket case - she is one step away from trying to destroy YOU to save herself. So go offline.

Final comment:
Waawaawaa. Gee, that's what happens when you practically kill your husband.

OK, I just have to add...all that talk about giving her another break? IMO, the only break you need to give her is to help her get admitted into a psychiatric facility.

Zen, There are other sites where posters here post also. enotalone, Loveshack.or g, talkaboutmarriage.co m, and survivinginfidelity.co m.. As I said. many who post here post at these sites also.

Next, it is perfectly legal to open your own bank accounts and close credit cards. You need to file so she cannot run up any debt. After you file its all her dime.

Obviously she lied about leaving if you request her to go. Big surprise.

And in truth. You do not need to divulge any private discussions with your attorney. I would act on your accounts tomorrow.

I don't know what your name means. I'm so so very sorry for your pain. I know it all to well. I understand your wifes actions as an alcholic and I'm so sorry that there isn't anything you can do for her.

You seem like such a loving man who is completely devoted to your family. Unfortunately it doesn't go the route we hope, no matter how hard we pray for it.

Your journey really is just beginning. Trust G-d, he'll lead you on the correct path. Walk slowly and carefully and know that even if you disappear on here, there are many of us who will be praying for you every night.

Be good to yourself.

Warmly,
Queenie

Z: Strength to you friend.

You did all you can to try and make things work. She has a serious character flaw. Take comfort in knowing you did everything you can and gave her more than enough opportunities to recover with you.

Now, listen to the other posters and move this off the forum and e-mail some of the experienced members. You NEED to protect your children from her behavior.

I would go ahead an edit the former username. If you want anyone else to post on your thread just email or PM. Just a thought. Eventually she will see the activity and/or the usual posters and then come and look.

erica,

Go back and nuke your previous posts. you can just edit them, erase the contents, and you are done. takes a little time, but may be worth the effort.

open the accounts - not illegal in texas, and from what i know, not illegal anyway. but it won't stop her from getting half later.

and don't post your strategies.

Here's another couple of random thoughts.

- Sign NOTHING unless your attorney tells you to.

- Do NOT get drawn into a physical altercation with her.

- Do NOT leave the house (like moving out).

Ok this is a bit Extreme.

I mentioned this before, you said she attacked you one night she was drunk, get a restraining order and get her [censored] kicked out of the house.

You might be in danger of another attack if she gets stressed enough, and you initiating a Divorce is sure to piss her off big time.