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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 188
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OP
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 188 |
Well, another night in the saga of DHJ!<P>Last night, H met my son and I at a pumpkin patch. We had a great time. Then as we were getting ready to leave. I invited H to have dinner and watch a movie. This would help him out because of rush hour traffic and his drive back to OW's condo in the city. <P>After everything he said this week (posted yesterday), I know that going thru with the divorce is not the answer. HE even admits that, but he is not ready to come home. I am ready to move on no matter which direction. I don't know what to do. I have gotten excited about certain aspects of life without him, but they do not over shadow my basic love for him or my commitment to our marriage. <P>I can stall the divorce - that is not a problem. I just don't know how long I can wait. HELP!<P>------------------<BR>H
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 921
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 921 |
dhj, Well, how long do you WANT to wait to get the result you really want? <BR>It's a matter that patience isn't given to you by God but won by the resolution to stand by your values and wait until things go the right way, in that way you learn the value of the patience that you've earned. I know this sounds harsh, but it's the truth in reality. Right now it sounds as though things may be on your side if you breath deeply and just take each moment as it comes, within that moment holding on to your values. Good Luck and God Bless!<BR>P.S. Remember that deep breathing does everything to let go of some anxiety, I also work out my frustrations by going to the gym. God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 300 |
Only you will know how long is long enough. I am in the same boat as you. I have slowly moved on. I have made a life for myself and my son. That doesn't mean that I have given up on my marriage, but I can't just sit around and wait for him to make a decision. You are doing the right thing. Take things as they come.
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 188
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OP
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 188 |
Thanks you two!<P>pondvj-<BR>I have also made a life for myself and my son. I think I have moved on to a certain extent. I am not sitting around waiting on him to make a decision. However, to move on any further means... divorce. Just this week, I saw that my H still doesn't know what he wants. He was telling me it was over - start the divorce. Now he admits that he only did that to try to make it easier on me - so I wouldn't wait. ARGH!!! <P>------------------<BR>H
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 74
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 74 |
Hi dhj!<P>I have to agree with pondvj. I think you will know when enough is enough. It is very easy to say "Just leave". It is also another thing to be in that situation and want so bad to just have your H back. I think you should definitely take one day at a time and know that your heart will tell you when it has been enough. It sounds like that time has not come. <P>You will make it through this and no matter what the outcome, you will feel better knowing you put forth the effort. Good luck!
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 1,050
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 1,050 |
It's taken me a year to be able to show patience (I still fall off the wagon). It is so hard, but we need to get some kind of life without them. I always work him in when he wants to be with me, but stay busy when he isn't around. I'm empty nesting pretty bad now too. Lots of prayer will help ease that vice from around your heart. We all know that feeling.
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